Never Too Late
by Hank's Lady
Summary: Paul's story as he runs away from a horror no wolf should have to go through, avoiding the one place where he might find comfort. Rated M for language, fighting, and sex M/M - slash . If this isn't your thing, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:- Paul's story as he runs away from a loss no wolf should have to endure, rather than consider another option which may have been able to help him. Leaving La Push, he looks back on the last 4 years of his life and wonders what his future will hold.  
**

**Disclaimer:- I do not own any of the Twilight characters, but am merely borrowing them from Ms Meyer for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours.**

CHAPTER ONE

**September 2010**

I shouldered my backpack and joined the line slowly snaking into the tunnel, the stub of my boarding pass gripped tightly in one hand. I never really thought I would leave La Push, but now it seemed like the best option, for both myself and everybody else. My life was completely fucked up, mostly by my own doing. I was good at that – fucking up. I did it every chance I got; fighting, hurting people, screwing...I didn't even want to go there. What the hell had I been thinking? I lost everything that mattered to me and my reaction to it had been to drop my pants and fall into bed with _another guy_.Damnit. He hadn't really wanted it either, I knew that; both of us had been hurting, reaching out, needing somebody who understood and sex had seemed like a good idea at the time, regardless of the fact that neither of were interested in guys. Mostly. Somehow we had just stumbled into it with each other.

I jerked my head up at the sound of the flight attendant's voice, directing me to the left side of the aircraft and I shoved my thoughts aside again, found my place and rammed my backpack into the overhead bin before I dropped into the window seat and clipped on my seatbelt. I closed my eyes, ignoring the bustle and chatter around me as other passengers boarded, the process slow and annoying. I didn't want to go back there, to think, but nothing I did seemed to be able to drown it out. My only hope was that a new life in another city would help.

I could have prevented everything that had happened to me if only I could learn to engage my brain before I went barreling on ahead. I hated football, for crying out loud. If I hadn't gone to the fucking game – and God knows I had refused at first until Sam and Jared practically bullied me into it – I wouldn't be on this plane now, about to fly out of Seattle in the hopes that I could escape the pain. Where the hell had all this started? It had been long before the game, even before the battle with the newborns, before I had known I was a shifter or what Imprinting was. Part of me wished Dad had never brought me to La Push at all. Now I was running away like a fucking coward, but what other choice did I have?

Some of them had tried to talk me out of it, mainly Sam and Jared, but I hadn't listened. They couldn't even imagine what I was going through and they only knew half of the facts. I sure as hell wasn't about to enlighten them, so I packed up and simply told them I would be in touch. Whether I actually would be was another matter.

I opened my eyes again and glanced out of the window as the aircraft began to taxi slowly onto the runway. Less than five hours and I would be in New York. I already had work waiting for me there with a custom bike shop similar to Dad's. He hadn't wanted me to leave, but I guess he understood and he hadn't tried to stand in my way. He just told me I could come back any time I wanted and have a home and work if I needed them.

Gradually the ground began to fall away below me and I glanced down at the rapidly shrinking lights of the city below, their glow made blurry by a fine misty rain. I hoped I would never want or need to come back. I was done with both the Reservation and the pack and yes, even those who called themselves my family. All I wanted to do was forget.

**Four Years Earlier**

I fucking hated school. I didn't see the point. I was going to go straight into my Dad's business building custom motorcycles right after I graduated anyway so it wasn't like I needed the piece of paper that said I could add up and spell. But Dad would have been in the shit with the authorities if I didn't go, so I went and hated it and made sure everybody else knew it.

I had a bunch of friends pretty similar to me – interested only in girls, bikes, rock music and whether we looked old enough to buy beer and cigarettes. The latter we could get away with, but the former, Martin either stole from his Dad's vast supply or we bribed Steve's elder sister to buy it for us. In addition Leon and I would get in fights at the drop of a hat, even going to the extent of interfering in other people's disagreements just to give us the excuse to land our fists on a few faces. It was one such interference that was my first big mistake.

I could see him now, the way he was when we were all just about turning sixteen. He was around my height, skinny and fragile looking, hair down to his waist and huge chocolate brown eyes in a thin, frightened face. Embry.

I didn't really know him, only enough to match the face to the name. He was in some of my classes, but I never had much reason to speak to him. He hung out with Jacob Black, one of the most popular guys on the Reservation and Quil Ateara the Fiftieth or whatever he was – both their families went back for generations. They didn't really interest me; both of them straight A students and popular with everyone. Embry was a bit of an outsider, being Makah and gay and he got plenty of stick for both from what I could see. Jacob and Quil always seemed to be fighting his battles for him and I didn't like weak people who stood behind others to avoid confrontation, but I guess that was because my nature was exactly the opposite and I couldn't relate.

It was a Saturday morning when I came upon two guys bullying him, calling him a fag, pushing him around and yanking his hair. I recognised Larry and Dwayne, a pair of older kids who thought they owned the place, swaggering around getting in even more trouble than I could manage. I had always wanted an excuse to bring them down a peg or two and as I watched them tormenting Embry and making him cry, I saw my chance.

"Hey!" I challenged, charging towards the three.

Larry looked back over his shoulder and glowered. "What the fuck do you want, Lahote?"

They knew my name then. I scowled back as Dwayne's leg swung out, sweeping Embry's from beneath him and dropping him onto his ass in the sand.

"Leave the kid alone, fucking homophobic jerks!" I snapped.

Embry gazed up at me, face wet with tears, eyes widening as Larry and Dwayne stepped away from him and towards me.

"Oh, you want some too, asshole?" Dwayne's fists came up and he took a swing at me without waiting for an answer.

The guys probably had two or three inches on me, but I was no less built and in addition, I was faster. They got in a few lucky punches between them, but even with two against one I had the upper hand. I found myself grinning evilly as they backed off, panting and uttering various expletives under their breath, then turned and trudged off up the beach.

Embry scrambled to his feet, shaking and sniffling and launched himself at me. I didn't expect it and I simply stood there, hands hanging at my sides, my breath caught somewhere in my throat as his arms landed around my neck and his body pressed up against mine. Oh, fuck.

I had no idea what to do, although I was sorely tempted to punch him too. I didn't give a shit about him being gay, but the last thing I wanted was him getting the wrong idea just because I helped him. I raised my hands to push him away and they landed on his sides, feeling the ridges of his ribs through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. He was trembling all over, his face pressed into my neck and his breath coming in harsh gasps, fanning hot on my skin.

"Hey..." I said helplessly.

"S-s-sorry," he choked.

Shit. Instead of pushing him away, my hands slid around to his back and I found myself hugging him. I could feel the smooth silkiness of his hair under my hands and against my cheek and I marvelled that any guy could have hair that felt this good. His heart was hammering – I could feel its rhythm vibrating in his chest where he rested against me. He was holding onto me like he meant to melt into me and for a brief moment I let him stay there.

"Embry. Hey..." I got myself together and pulled his arms from around my neck, taking a step away quickly. "They've gone, ok?"

"Yeah," he whispered, scrubbing both hands over his damp face. "Thanks."

"Where do you live?" I heard myself ask and frowned as I waited for an answer.

"Uh...Ocean Street, near the convenience store."

"I'll walk you home," I grunted.

"You don't have to."

"Oh, you want to run into those two jerks again if they're still hanging around?"

"No. Thanks...for the offer."

A blush began to creep up his cheeks and I felt the left side of my jaw twitch as I ground my teeth together. Damnit, I could almost read his mind as I rapidly turned into his knight in shining armour. Why the fuck had I interfered?

"Come on, then," I said shortly and turned towards the path leading up to the Res. Embry hurried along at my side and we walked in silence up the path and then along Black Lane to the turning which led into Ocean Street. Every so often I could feel him looking sideways at me and I couldn't wait to leave him at his house and get the hell away from him. It was starting to creep me out and I couldn't help a quick shudder as I recalled the feel of him in my arms. We carried on walking for another couple of minutes and then he slowed and looked at me again.

"Uh...this is where I live."

I stopped and nodded.

"Thanks...Paul," he said shyly, peeking up at me through long lashes, that damned blush on his face again. "Do you...uh...want to come in? For a drink or anything?"

Fuck.

"I'm busy." I took a few steps backwards, jamming my hands into my jeans pockets. "I'll see you."

"Oh...sure."

A small smile and then his teeth sank into his lower lip and he just stared at me. I swung around quickly and began to march off towards my own house, cursing under my breath. The temporary satisfaction I had felt over my altercation with Larry and Dwayne was forgotten and all I could think of was fucking Embry throwing himself into my arms.

On Monday, he was the first person I saw on the way to school and it didn't fill me with delight. The minute he saw me and walked faster to intercept me, a shy smile on his face, I wished once again that I'd just stayed out of it and left him to his fate on the beach.

"Hey, Paul," he greeted, blushing and falling into step beside me.

I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets with a sigh and uttered an unintelligble grunt by way of an answer. I wanted to say 'leave me the fuck alone', but didn't quite have the heart, unusually for me.

"I wanted to say thanks again, for helping me out," Embry said and as he reached up to brush his hair out of his face, his elbow bumped my arm, making me frown at how close to me he was walking. I sidestepped and glowered.

"Yeah, sure, forget it," I growled.

"Maybe we could...uh...hang out some time..."

What the fuck? I glanced at him and he was gazing at me hopefully, his teeth sinking into the corner of his lip and his eyes shining. What was he asking exactly because to me it looked like he wanted to do more than hang out.

"Look, Embry, you got your own friends and I got mine, we got nothing in common so let's keep it that way, huh?" I said, spotting Jacob Black in the distance, to my intense relief. I pointed to him now. "There's one of your buddies."

"Oh..." He looked crestfallen as he looked in the direction I was pointing and then back at me. "Ok..."

I didn't answer, but increased my pace and left him, for once suddenly keen to get to school as fast as possible. The last thing I wanted was the local fag getting a thing for me. I'd be a laughing stock. I scowled fiercely as I marched down the road, trying not to think about it and failing.

I'd never considered the possibility of another guy getting the hots for me or whatever the hell it was he felt, but I didn't really feel disgusted by the idea. If I wasn't so worried about what anyone else would think I probably would have just been amused, so long as he didn't make a nuisance out of himself.

However, it wasn't long before Embry did make a nuisance of himself. He didn't talk to me – my rejection of his offer to hang out on Monday seemed to have put paid to that – but I gradually became aware of him looking at me whenever we were in the same class together or in the canteen. He didn't seem to give a shit if anyone noticed of not; his eyes would keep drifting over to me and staying there. I would feel eyes wandering over me and I knew it was him, even when I didn't look up and catch him staring. On those occasions when I did he would blush furiously and look away and make me even more uncomfortable.

It didn't help that I had been growing a hell of a lot recently, my muscles causing my school shirts to stretch tight across my shoulders and around my biceps, my body rapidly developing into that of a twenty-year-old who spent half his waking life in the gym. I didn't understand why and I certainly wasn't going to complain, but at the same time I didn't need another reason for Embry to stare at me with his fucking tongue practically hanging out of his mouth.

It wasn't too long before Leon, Martin and Steve noticed I had an admirer and constantly receiving sniggering comments from them that 'fag boy' was watching me again didn't do much for my sense of humour. It was with great relief that I walked out of school on Friday afternoon two weeks later and never had to go back. I was approached by Jared Cameron, a guy in some of my classes and taken to see one Sam Uley who was three years older. The pair of them spent the weekend teaching me about what I was to imminently become and because of my temper, they decided I wasn't safe to be at school. Sam intended to keep me at his place instead and make sure I studied to pass my exams.

The wolf part of the story fascinated me. Of course I knew the legends, everyone on the Res did. Even Dad had told me about them and I wasn't really that surprised to find out they were true. It was one of those kind of fantasy stories that didn't really take that much of a leap of the imagination to accept it was reality.

Sam and Jared kept a close eye on me, convinced that I would lose it in an awkward situation and phase, but when it happened it wasn't because I lost my temper; I guess I was just ready. The pair of them had phased and run off into the forest, leaving me by myself at Sam's house. I sat out on the porch watching the two wolves, one black and one brown, scamper off towards the trees and I wondered what my own would be like. What colour would he be? How large? How strong?

It happened in a rush and I tumbled off the porch in a flurry of blurred limbs, letting out a yell of surprise, which to my ears sounded more like a growl. I found myself on my belly in the grass, furry grey forelegs stretched out in front of me, a tail twitching behind me and I let my tongue roll out of my mouth and dangle there like an amused puppy. I'd had such a build up to this – increasing rages, muscle growth, uncomfortably high body temperature, voracious appetite and then when it happened nothing had set me off other than me thinking about it. It was something of an anticlimax, but at least I got to enjoy it rationally and enjoy it I did.

I loved my wolf immediately. He was fast and powerful and I when I stood up and peered at him in the glass of the door, I thought he looked pretty awesome too. I turned in the direction of the forest and bounded across the meadow, sniffing the air and picking up the scent of Sam and Jared quickly. In addition I picked up their thoughts.

_'It could be any time, I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet,' _Sam's voice came into my head.

_'I know, with a temper like his...'_

_'Jared, wait, do you feel that?'_

_'What?'_

_'We got company.'_

_'Yeah, you fuckers, here I am.' _I barrelled through the trees towards them and skidded to a halt in the clearing where they stood, staring back at me with wide eyes.

_'Paul!'_ exclaimed Jared.

_'Yeah. Finally. You didn't tell me I could do this just by thinking about it. I thought I had to wait for something to piss me off.'_

_'That's usually the case,'_ Sam said in surprise.

It proved to usually be the case for me after that day. The slightest little thing would make me phase, not least Sam telling me about Imprinting. The concept of that was just too weird for me. Being tied to one person for the rest of your life by fate, whether you originally liked them or not. Sam had already proved it to be an enormous problem by Imprinting on Emily Young when he had been in love with Leah Clearwater, causing all concerned endless misery, including Jared and me as we had to listen to his anguished thoughts whenever he failed to block them.

Jared Imprinted on Kim, a girl from school who I knew vaguely and he was as happy as Larry so to speak, but I hoped to God I wasn't going to go down the same route. Sam had said Imprinting was pretty rare so with two of them in the pack already, hopefully I would escape.

Weeks passed and nothing happened to me, although I didn't really see many people so it could just have been lack of opportunity. Then a surprise pack member joined us and everything went to hell. Embry phased, completely out of the blue, running into us one night in the forest in a complete panic. He didn't know what he was – no one knew what he was, he was supposed to be Makah, for God's sake. The first we knew of it was when his terrified grey wolf appeared in front of us, halting quickly and then simply cowering there while Sam talked to him and attempted to calm him down.

We took him back to Sam's and all phased back. Jared went home and left Sam and me to tell him the rest of the story. Sam left us alone for a few minutes while he went to make coffee and I studiously avoided Embry's gaze, all too well aware that his eyes were raking over my pecs and eight-pack, my only garment being cut-off denim shorts, making me wish I had grabbed a t-shirt to put on.

Eventually I did look up; I couldn't seem to help it and our eyes locked. Even in that split second before anything happened I had an awful feeling that I shouldn't have let myself look at him, but by then it was too late. I felt the pull I had heard so much about from Sam and Jared, only it wasn't me who Imprinted. It was him. Embry Imprinted on me.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

The aircraft levelled out and the announcement came that seatbelts could now be unclipped and that refreshments would be offered to the passengers shortly. I unfastened my belt and touched the screen in the rear of the seat in front of me to find a movie or something to occupy my mind. Flicking through the options I selected Home Alone. Everything was family rated and much as it wasn't my cup of tea, it would serve as a distraction. The last thing I wanted to think about was Embry Imprinting on me, damnit. I was supposed to be leaving all of that behind.

When the refreshment cart came around I accepted coffee and a packet of spiced peanuts and focused fiercely on McCaulay Culkin's amusing screams directed into my ears through the headset I had put on. It served to hold my attention for about twenty minutes and then it was Sam's voice in my head drowning out the stupid movie. Fuck, even after everything that had happened since, I was never going to forget it.

* * *

"You don't have to accept it, Paul, you do have a choice."

"What happens if I don't?" I asked uncertainly.

"It's not known for sure," Sam said with a sigh. "As far as I'm aware there hasn't been an instance of an Imprintee rejecting an Imprint. Fate selects someone most suitable for the wolf..."

"Well, why the fuck did it select me for Embry then?" I demanded. "I didn't think wolves even Imprinted on other wolves!"

"It has been known to happen, although the pair Imprinted on each other, which clearly hasn't happened here."

"Yeah, well maybe fate knows making me Imprint on a _guy_ isn't in my best interests!" I growled. I was close to phasing and I stepped towards the door. Embry had gone to his room and shut himself in, but I knew he must have been able to hear every word. "What would you do?" I asked.

"In your position?"

"Of course in my position, you think I meant if you were Embry? He's probably fucking jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas, he's had the hots for me for...!" I stopped abruptly, my face flushing, and flung the door open. "Fuck it, I'm out of here."

"Paul!"

I ignored Sam calling me back and let my wolf burst out, ripping my cut-offs to shreds as I raced away towards the forest again.

* * *

"Sir, would you like a refill?"

"Huh! What?" I almost jumped out of my skin as I looked up at the flight attendant bending over with a coffee jug in her hand. "Uh...sorry...sure, thanks," I stuttered.

She poured and left me and I stared down at the bitter over-brewed liquid, relieved that at least the seat beside me was empty. Any travelling companion would be thinking I was nuts by now. Why the hell couldn't I just forget about it? It was like I was being forced to replay a movie I'd seen a thousand times already. I removed the headset and looked out of the window at the clouds instead.

* * *

I had stayed away for three days before I dared show my face at Sam's again. Embry was still there and I knew I was going to have to talk to him. He looked like shit; his clothes crumpled as if he'd slept in them, face pale and drawn, eyes huge and dark and miserable. His face lit up pathetically when I walked in.

"Where's Sam and Jared?" I grunted.

"They...uh...they're patrolling." Embry licked his lips nervously and got up from the sofa. "Can I get you anything? A drink or food or something? Sam ordered pizzas, there's some left in the kitchen. I..."

"Stop," I interrupted, holding my hands up.

"Sorry." He took a step closer to me. "You're mad, aren't you? I don't know why this happened. Sam said maybe it's intended for me to be your friend, or right hand man, so to speak, or something like that. I don't know, but I guess I can be anything you want," he continued to babble and finished by giving me a small hopeful smile.

What was I supposed to do? I didn't want him, as anything, and certainly not as what I guessed he was fantasising about as his eyes slid down from my face to my chest again and fixed on my bulging pecs.

"I don't want this," I said. "Any of it. I didn't ask to be in the pack and I didn't ask to get Imprinted on. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. I don't want to be stuck with the same person all my life and certainly not with a guy."

Embry's face paled even more if that were possible and his lips trembled as he lifted his eyes to mine again.

"It wouldn't have to matter, like I said, I can be anything you want, just a friend. I wouldn't stop you having...girls..." His voice trailed off with something that sounded suspiciously like a sob. He cleared his throat and just stared back at me.

"If I know anything about Imprinting, that wouldn't be enough," I said slowly. "It's not what I want, Embry and I'm not accepting it. I can't."

I felt like I had just kicked a puppy. Damnit, he looked like a puppy with his big brown eyes pain-filled and soft mouth quivering. He just stood there holding his breath while the ticking of the lounge clock suddenly seemed deafening in the silence and I counted eighteen seconds. Then he turned away to go to his room, almost but not quite before I saw his tears begin to fall.

I was sick with myself and had no idea what to do; stay, go home, phase and run away. I stayed, at least until Sam and Jared returned and I found myself telling them what happened with some trepidation. I half expected them both to lay into me and I guessed I would have deserved it. I wouldn't even have put up a fight, but they simply looked at me with sorrow clouding their faces and then both sets of eyes switched to Embry's closed door.

"I'll go and see him," Jared said quietly and went to the door, tapped softly and let himself in.

We didn't see him again for the rest of the night and I felt more and more shitty as time wore on. That feeling didn't go away either. Not in the next day or the next week. Not even when we had other things to occupy us, like Quil and Jacob joining the pack and eventually Leah and Seth too; then the killing of Laurent after he attacked Bella, the leech lover Jacob was so completely hooked on. Embry's constant pain at my rejection was felt by everyone, none more so than me and I knew Jacob and Quil both resented me for it. They were Embry's best friends and every moment of every day he was hurting because of me and he would go on hurting unless I decided to accept him, which I just couldn't.

Sam sympathised with both of us and I finally understood his confusion over the mess with Leah and Emily. He still loved Leah, but he Imprinted on Emily and was bound to her. Leah loved him and couldn't have him and he relived the guilt of leaving her over and over. I eventually learned to block my thoughts and feelings from the others and I longed for the day when the pack would no longer be needed so I could distance myself from all of them. But I couldn't even do that right. I had to go and fuck things up even more than they already were and by the time I finished, I wouldn't have blamed Embry one bit if his wolf had attacked me. I wouldn't even have fought back, but of course he wouldn't do that. He would just carry on taking all the shit I served up to him because the Imprint told him to.

The battle was over. We had trained hard and it had paid off – with the pack and the Cullens on the same side we had wiped out the newborn army and their leader, Riley, leaving only Victoria still running free. It seemed that she would always manage to escape somehow, but right then our greatest concern was Jacob. He was injured and we had carried him back to his Dad's house where Carlisle Cullen was forced to re-break his bones to set them right. His screams even made me shudder and I thought I was tough. Eventually Sam sent the rest of us away to our homes, saying he would stay the remainder of the night to help Billy Black care for Jacob.

Sam's house had become a home away from home for me since I first phased and it was there that I headed rather than my Dad's house. He had got used to me staying out and was happy so long as he knew I was at Sam's. Everyone else scattered – Leah and Seth heading for the Clearwaters' house, Quil making for his Gramps' home, Jared setting off in another direction. Embry had already gone and I supposed he must have gone back to his mother's.

I let myself in and walked into the kitchen, not bothering to turn on any lights. I helped myself to a beer from the refrigerator, uncapped the bottle and drained the contents without pausing. I took a second bottle, opened that and drank half before I stopped, almost spluttering out the liquid in my mouth as I heard a sound from the room Embry used. He was _here?_ I raised the bottle to my lips again and took another gulp, wondering whether to creep into my room and pretend I wasn't there, but he would have heard me. I hadn't exactly tiptoed into the house and the first empty bottle had crashed loudly into the garbage as I tossed it there from perhaps three feet away. Fuck.

I glanced towards his closed door, straining my ears for another sound. A sniff and then a choking sob. I listened to him weeping for maybe ten seconds before I couldn't stand it any more. It was my fault; the way he looked, the way he acted, the partly veiled pain emanating from him for months now was all down to me rejecting him. I felt as guilty as hell and even though I still couldn't imagine myself with him, I wasn't immune. Perhaps I could at least stop him crying like his heart was breaking. I had done my best to ignore everything since he Imprinted and I was only kidding myself that it was working. Somehow I felt a shred of something.

"Embry?" I tapped lightly on the door and instantly there was silence from within. "Em!"

I heard a slight creak as if he had just got off the bed, then the light brush of bare feet on carpet. The door opened and I found myself looking into his hastily scrubbed face, his eyes red and puffy.

"What do you want, Paul?"

"I wanted to check you're ok."

"I'm fine." He sighed heavily. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I could've...handled this better."

"It's not your fault; I knew you didn't want me. I guess fate...just really...f-fucked us over..."

He dropped his eyes away from mine as fresh tears spilled from them and pain stabbed through me. I reached out before I could think about it and gripped his upper arms, feeling the hard contours of his biceps. His wolf growth had filled him out a lot since that day I helped him out on the beach. He had been so thin then; now he was well defined, broader across the shoulders, more chiselled. I don't know whether I pulled him towards me or if he stepped closer, but suddenly his body was resting against mine and my arms were around him, his face in my neck. I ran one hand up the middle of his back to his shoulder, only now remembering how long his hair had been before he cut it. It had been like a silk curtain almost reaching his butt; now it barely touched his collar. His arms slid around my waist, tentatively as if he thought I would shove him away from me again.

"I'm sorry," I said again in a whisper.

My lips brushed the lobe of his ear, making him shiver and I pulled my head back quickly. Did I really want to be doing this? He lifted his head and met my eyes; his were dark pools which seemed to be drawing me in, making me incapable of stopping myself leaning closer again until my nose bumped his. I angled my head slightly and our lips touched. I felt my skin tingle and heat up and I experimentally caressed his lips with mine, my eyes half closed, feeling his hands clutching at my back and the sudden rapid hardening in his pants nudging my thigh. To my surprise my pulse quickened and heat flooded to my groin. I hadn't thought about him in this way before and my body's fast response to one small kiss stunned me. Suddenly I was hard and aching and rather than jerk away in shock, I took a step forward, moving him backwards into the room with my body and reaching behind me to shove the door closed.

He had been sitting there in the darkness, the room only dimly lit from a faint moon glow filtering between the gap in the curtains. Now I closed my eyes and used the rest of my senses instead, breathing in the musky scent of him which drove my hormones crazy, tasting his mouth as I thrust my tongue into it, running my hands under the back of his shirt and feeling the smooth heat of his skin, shivering as the erection in his pants bumped against mine. He moaned into my mouth and the sound made my cock twitch. I knew I was going to fuck him. Somehow everything between us, at least on my side, had changed in just the last few minutes.

I gripped the lower edges of Embry's shirt and stepped back enough to give myself room to pull it up and off over his head, tossing it to the ground in the corner of the room. I stepped out of my sneakers as we reached for the buttons on each other's pants at the same time. Both of us fumbled awkwardly with nervous excitement and as two pairs of cut-offs slid down our legs to the ground, I realised he was unrestrained by underwear the same way I was. I glanced down in the semi-darkness and caught a glimpse of his member as it nudged my stomach, more or less the same length as mine, but slightly less thick. His hand reached down and grasped me, beginning to pump slowly and my breath hissed out between my teeth. I caught his wrist and stopped the movement.

"Sorry, I thought..." He pulled his hand away, biting his lip.

"I just don't want to lose it yet."

"Do you want to fuck me?" he whispered, dropping his head forward into my shoulder. His mouth touched my neck and I shivered.

"Yeah."

He slid a hand up around my neck and moved slowly backwards, drawing me with him until the back of his legs met the bed and he sat down, scooting into the middle of it. As I kneeled on the mattress he pulled open the drawer in the bed table and removed a condom packet and a tube of lube. My eyes widened a touch. He had those things _here_ in Sam's house? So he'd been with someone else? Who? When? Maybe he'd been trying to get over my rejection of him. I was confused and stunned for a moment until I looked at him, lying on his back with his knees drawn up and pressed together, eyes turned away from me. I imagined if there had been enough light I would have seen a blush on his cheeks. Amusingly it excited me more and I rested my hands on his knees for a moment, then pushed them apart and stroked my fingers down the insides of his thighs. His cock was curving up against his stomach, the head glistening with pre-cum and my own throbbed in response as I stared.

I had no idea what I was doing. I'd had an endless stream of female attention at school before any of this happened and I knew I would have been leaving a string of broken hearts and popped cherries behind me had I not quit school and had the wolfpack to deal with. But as it was, my first time was about to be with Embry and I was fairly clueless. I knew what went where and that safety was a good idea, but that was about as far as it went, however I didn't worry too much since Embry apparently knew what he was doing and was well prepare for it. I picked up the condom packet, ripped it open and rolled the rubber over my cock, shuddering with anticipation. I doubted I would last more than a minute or two when I actually started doing it.

I glanced down again, noticing Embry's hand wrapped around his shaft now, not jacking himself off, but just squeezing and rubbing his thumb over the slit. Jesus. My balls ached and I grabbed the lube, flipping the cap off and squeezing some into my hand. I slicked it over my rubber-sheathed cock and lowered myself between his thighs. He took his hand off himself and slid both arms around me instead. I supported my weight with one arm and reached down with my free hand, feeling for his small tight hole, wondering how in hell I would fit in there. I guided myself, pushing the head at his entrance, feeling a lot of resistance. God, I was aching. I shoved myself forward firmly and half of my length slid in. Embry's teeth ground together and he let out a moan. I felt his nails cutting through layers of skin in my back, drawing blood and he froze beneath me. Oh, fuck. I stopped moving and watched his face until he opened his eyes and met mine.

"You've never done this before, have you?" I said.

"Uh...no..."

He relaxed slowly and I flinched at the sting of his nails in my back, a jumble of curses running through my head. I hurt him. _Fuck_.

"You should have told me."

"It's fine, I'm fine."

He slid his hands down to my hips and slowly pulled me down further and deeper into him, his lips quivering. Damnit, he was so determined to please me, he was suffering for it. I held still, not knowing whether to stay where I was until he got used to me or pull out. I stayed there and lowered my head towards him, teasing his lips with mine, coaxing a response from him and gradually feeling his jaw unclenching, his limbs relaxing, the muscles which gripped my cock so fiercely slackening just a tiny amount. I deepened the kiss and he stroked his hands up over my back again, squirming beneath me, his erection which had temporarily half-softened rapidly rearing up again and jabbing at my stomach.

It was then that I was able to shake off my anxiety and become completely aware of everything; the warm wetness of his mouth kissing me back eagerly, his arms holding me, thighs spread wide and resting against my hips and the incredible tight heat of him gripping my cock. I was trembling with the effort of holding myself still above him and I could feel sweat beading along my spine and at the back of my neck. I let myself relax and began to move experimentally, an inch at a time either way, breaking the kiss so I could draw my head back and watch his face. His head rolled back on the pillow and he sank his teeth into his lip, breathing fast, a slight frown on his face. He began to move with me, meeting each thrust with one of his own, the next sound he made a moan of pleasure. He slid one hand down between us and I propped myself up a fraction more, giving him room to jack off while I fucked him.

I was right, I didn't last very long. It seemed almost no time at all before I felt the pressure building up in me, my balls tightening and everything intensifying to the point where I couldn't control myself any longer. I erupted into the condom, one spurt after another, groaning loudly. Just as I stopped moving Embry finished too, his fluid shooting over his hand and onto both our stomachs. I slid out of him slowly, removed the condom and grabbed a tissue from the box beside the bed to wrap it in. I wasn't sure what to do with myself next. I'd never been in this position, but what I wanted more than anything was to hunt down a cigarette and go out and sit on the porch to smoke it. However, Embry was lying curled up on his side watching me and I couldn't do it; at least not yet. I still felt shitty and I lay down again, pulling him close to me. He nestled against me immediately and I sighed, deciding immediately I wasn't the cuddling type, but I owed him something.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," I whispered.

"It doesn't matter, I lo – I'm ok."

I squeezed my eyes shut and let my breath out slowly. He almost said 'I love you'. I lay there, longing to make my escape, feeling like I'd made a big mistake, listening to his breathing slow until he eventually slept. Then with considerable relief I slid away, grabbed my shorts and left the room. I found cigarettes in my own room and let myself out of the house quickly, lighting up before I had even closed the door. I was confused and I needed to think about what I wanted, because suddenly it didn't seem so straight forward as I had thought. Part of me had liked being with him enough to want more of him; to want to accept him after all.

* * *

I opened my eyes again with a start. My face was hot and my pants way too tight. After everything that happened, how could I still be thinking about him like that? Dwelling on every little kiss and touch, the look on his face, the feel of him against me...it had continued to plague me since that one and only time we were together.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

By the time I finished my second cigarette Sam had returned to the house and I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not, now that I couldn't return to Embry without getting a very curious third degree. As it was, I dreaded somehow letting slip what had happened.

Although the battle was over, Victoria was still around somewhere so we would no doubt have to continue patrols for some time yet, meaning both Embry and I were in danger of giving our thoughts away to the others. If I was honest, I didn't really care if they knew I slept with him, but I would never hear the end of it for leading him on and then walking away, if indeed that's what happened. I wasn't so sure any more. I had felt amazing when I was with him and I was more than a little tempted to wait for Sam to go to sleep and then sneak back in and join him. However, by the time I had drunk another beer while listening to Sam talk about how Jacob was doing, I was beginning to yawn and when I opened my eyes some time later, I realised I was alone on the sofa and the house was in silence. It was daylight and suddenly the thought of facing both Embry and Sam at the same time was too much. I shoved my feet into my sneakers, let myself out of the house and ran home.

Dad was up when I got in and was making breakfast.

"Wasn't expecting to see you this early," he commented. "Want toast?"

"Uh...no thanks, Dad, I need to catch a few more hours sleep," I grunted.

"Fair enough. There's leftover pizza in the refrigerator if you want it later."

"Yeah, thanks." I took myself to my room, sprawled out on the bed and slept again.

When I woke once more it was the middle of the afternoon and I had three missed calls on my cellphone – two from Sam and one from Jared. Jared had left a message telling me they had visited Jacob and he was fine and that I should go over later to Sam's house to catch up. I dragged myself into the shower and stood under the scalding hot spray, leaning against the tiled wall with my eyes closed until the tank emptied and it ran cold before scrubbing myself briskly.

My heart was thumping fast and unevenly and although I tried telling myself it was nothing to do with the prospect of seeing Embry, I knew I was lying to myself. Something had happened to me last night; being with him like that had made me wonder if maybe I could accept him after all, given a little time. I shivered as I dried myself quickly. What was I thinking? I was gay now?

An image of myself looking down at Embry as I lay between his thighs flashed into my mind and I felt my face heat up. That had to have been there all the time, I just never realised it before, although I knew my feelings had been confused by guilt and some kind of response to the fact that he Imprinted, once I did get close to him. I sighed heavily and grabbed a pair of jeans. What now? I knew I was going to have to talk to him alone and it was going to be hellishly awkward turning up at Sam's now with all of the others there too.

I found my sneakers and for once dug out a tank top to wear, grabbed a slice of cold pizza from the refrigerator and left the house. Rather than head straight for Sam's, I delayed by turning off towards Billy Black's house, figuring I could waste some time by seeing how Jacob was doing first, assuming he was still there. When I arrived I knocked lightly on the door and walked in, which all of the pack did when calling on Billy or any of the other pack members' families – except for Embry's whose mother wasn't cool with a bunch of enormous guys letting themselves into her house and raiding the refrigerator.

"Paul," Billy greeted, rolling out of the lounge in his wheelchair. "Jacob's in the shower. He won't be long."

"He's better then?" I asked.

"Yes, the healing took a lot out of him, he's going to want to eat when he comes out of there."

"Oh, do you want me to help out with something?" I offered at once. Any excuse not to go straight to Sam's, even though part of me was dying to get out of the door and run over there.

"Sure, that'd be good, you know what he likes to eat."

"Yeah, anything edible," I grinned, heading for the kitchen. I was still hungry myself and I pulled out bacon, eggs, mushrooms, bread and a bag of frozen hash browns and began cooking a mid-afternoon breakfast. Billy didn't want food and left me to get on with it.

Jacob emerged moments later wearing shorts, his hair still dripping.

"Paul, what are you doing here?" he asked, snatching a piece of half-cooked bacon out of the pan and shoving it into his mouth. "I'm starving."

"I was on my way to Sam's, thought I'd stop by and see if you were healed," I said.

"Thanks." He grabbed a piece of bread now and smeared butter onto it. "And thanks for this, I wouldn't have been able to wait to cook anything."

"Almost done," I grinned, shovelling a mountain of scrambled eggs onto two plates along with four large hash browns each. Mushrooms and bacon followed along with a separate plate holding eight slices of toast. We sat down at the counter and dug into the food, clearing the heap of food in less than ten minutes, following which Jacob took out several more slices of bread and made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to finish. Then he went to brush his teeth and find a t-shirt while I put the crockery into the dishwasher. Billy had gone into his bedroom so there was no one around but me when the front door opened.

I heard heels click on the wood floor and the door close gently, then the obviously high-heeled shoes made their way down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Dad? You here?"

I slammed the dishwasher closed and punched the 'start' button just as the young woman stepped into the kitchen and then I simply stared. Rachel Black. I hadn't seen her for years. She had gone away to college and never come back. She had a similarity to Jacob in the shape of her eyes and mouth, but there it ended. I found myself looking at a stunning woman, tall in her high-heels, slim but nicely shaped, black hair loose and hanging halfway down her back. She wore tight jeans and a yellow shirt, the heels actually belonging to a pair of knee-high black boots.

"Paul Lahote, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "Where's Dad and Jacob?"

I opened my mouth to answer as I met her eyes and found myself incapable of speech. I knew immediately what was happening as the room around me slid away from my peripheral vision and her eyes seemed to draw me in, holding me there as if she was the only thing there was for me. Flashes of images of us together ran through my mind and I felt my heart rate speed up, the sound of it vibrating through my whole body, my temperature rising until she spoke again and I crashed back down to earth, grabbing at the kitchen counter to stop my legs giving way.

"Paul? Are you alright?"

"Yeah...um...sorry...n-not enough sleep last night," I stammered. "Good to see you back, Rachel, I thought you were gone for good." I laughed slightly and it sounded horribly fake to my own ears. I had no idea what to say or what to do with myself.

"Rach!" Jacob came into the room and grabbed her in a bearhug, taking the focus off me much to my relief. I was stunned. Somehow I had thought Imprinting had bypassed me and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I hadn't wanted to be tied to anyone in that way and now suddenly Rachel Black was _the one._

Billy came into the room to greet his daughter and Jacob shot me a steely glance before heading for the door.

"Going to Sam's, catch up with you later, Rachel," he called over his shoulder and I followed quickly.

"You didn't want to hang out with her a while?" I asked. He ignored me.

"What the hell, Paul? You Imprinted on my _sister?" he_ growled at me the minute the door closed behind us.

"You saw that, huh." I glanced over my shoulder at the house, suddenly wishing I was still in there.

"Yeah, I saw. Well, I guess now you're going to find out for real what it's been like for Embry."

I flinched. "You think she'll reject me?"

"Too right. I doubt she'll want to hang around here, she'll go back to Seattle. Besides, she's not going to want a kid four years younger than her."

"Fuck off, Jake, I'm no kid," I bristled. "You can't possibly know how she'll react to this."

"You're not going to tell her!"

"You think?"

We were still in view of the house, but Jacob, the least likely besides Embry to ever start a fight, suddenly turned on me and threw a fist at the side of my head. I ducked just in time and backed up, not wanting to get into a situation where I risked phasing in broad daylight right in the middle of the Reservation, but he just wouldn't let it go. In moments we were on the ground grappling with each other, Jacob doing his best to land a punch on me while I warded him off and attempted to restrain him. Much as I hated to admit it to myself, he was stronger and faster than me, being the true Alpha, even though he had turned down the honour.

"Quit it, will you?" I gasped. "I'm not going to fight with you over this!"

"What the hell is going on?"

I shoved Jacob away from me and looked up at Quil and Embry who had just appeared and were now staring at us in horror. Jacob scrambled to his feet and brushed dust off himself, scowling and panting.

"He fucking Imprinted!" he spat.

"What? On whom?" Quil asked, eyes wide.

The colour drained out of Embry's face and he took a couple of steps backwards as I got to my feet. Shit.

"My sister, Rachel; she just came home," Jacob said through his teeth, still glaring at me. I ignored them.

"Em..."

I could see the pain in his eyes and he almost seemed to shrink in front of me. I took a step towards him, but he backed away further and then turned, beginning to walk away, his arms wrapped around himself, head hanging.

"Fuck!" I muttered.

"Oh, now you care how he feels?" Jacob sneered at me. "Kind of ironic, isn't it, that he would Imprint and you didn't give a shit and now _you _Imprint and suddenly you feel something?"

"Go to hell, Jake, you know nothing about it!" I snarled. I was furious with myself and I didn't know what to do. I was torn and I wondered if this was how Sam felt, the only difference being that Leah hadn't Imprinted on him. I left Jacob and Quil and hurried after the retreating figure of Embry.

"Hey! Embry, wait!" I caught him up maybe a hundred yards away, heading down one of the paths which led to the beach. He didn't stop until I grabbed his arm and forcibly halted him.

"What do you want, Paul?" he asked quietly. He seemed curiously calm and accepting.

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I didn't expect this to happen. I never wanted to Imprint."

"Well, you did so..." He cleared his throat. "At least you won't have to worry about me bugging you any more. I'll stay away."

"This isn't what I wanted," I protested. "Last night..."

"It just happened, I know it was a spur of the moment thing. You couldn't wait to get away from me afterwards."

"That's not true! I was just confused; I liked being with you." I knew I was only making things worse because there was nowhere we could go from there; not now. But somehow I was desperate for him to know that I hadn't just used him or had too much beer or been swayed by his tears or whatever it was he was thinking.

"Thanks, but you don't have to try and make me feel better." He smiled faintly. "None of this was your fault. Really, it's ok, you have Rachel now, so I hope it works for you. I have to go." He turned from me again and hurried away. I stood there watching him go, wanting to run after him, but knowing there was no point. Whether I had begun to want him or not it was no longer relevant. I had an Imprint to think about and I had to get used to it.

* * *

I was relieved to be jerked out of my thoughts by a sudden announcement that the aircraft was heading into a storm and that turbulence was expected. I straightened up in my seat and clipped the belt back in place, glancing around me as other passengers did the same. There were still a couple hours to go before we reached New York and I felt as if the journey would never end. If only I had someone with me to talk to, to take my mind off it. Stupid really, because if I had someone I wouldn't be leaving.

We passed through the turbulence in minutes and I searched through the movies again for something to distract me for the last part of the flight, but nothing appealed and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop thinking anyway. It seemed that the rest of what had happened intended to play out in my mind until it got to the end and then rewind again all the way to Embry's Imprint.

* * *

Rachel. Part of me had hoped she would reject me, as insane as that seemed. I had rejected Embry so surely I deserved it. I was still torn. A week after I Imprinted and I was aching to be with her so fiercely that I thought I would die if I went for one more day without seeing her. In addition, the pain I felt due to what I had done to Embry was crushing and I wondered if I would ever get over it, even if Rachel did accept me and allow us to live happily ever after like Sam and Emily...and Leah.

Six long days dragged by and I had done my best to avoid the rest of the pack, although I had pestered Jake for a reason to go over to his house. He refused to let me anywhere near his sister, despite Sam telling him that keeping us apart was cruel.

Embry hadn't been seen all week either and Quil and Jake had repeatedly called him and gone around to his house, but his mother told them eventually that he had gone back to Neah Bay to visit his grandparents for a few weeks. The knowledge was like a kick in the guts to me, but at the same time it spurred me on to get past Jacob and see his sister.

I finally caught up with her on Sunday, walking alone on the beach and the overwhelming feeling of delight I was filled with almost had me running the other way. Rachel was beautiful, intelligent and fun, everything any normal guy would want, me included, but I didn't like the fact that fate had forced me upon her and made me feel so much when we knew virtually nothing about each other.

However, I approached her and she seemed happy to see me, in the way you would expect a woman to greet her kid brother's friend. It was tough being myself, knowing that I was bound to her and yet she had no clue as to what had happened, but somehow, incredibly, we hit it off and spent the entire day together. We walked on the beach, swam, lay in the sun and went for dinner together at the single small diner on the Reservation and the whole time we talked non-stop. I hadn't really expected her to respond to my charms, but perhaps she felt the pull of the Imprint too without knowing what it was. I had no idea. All I knew was that it was probably the best day of my life, despite my continuing guilt over Embry.

Rachel hesitated for maybe five seconds when I asked her to go on a date with me the next evening, but she did agree and I was relieved that for once something in my life seemed to be going well. Jacob was less than pleased with me when I saw him the next morning, having had to listen to Rachel talk about me when she got home, but I told him to go fuck himself. She was my Imprint and nobody was keeping me from her. That possessiveness and desire to please her and make her want me above all else seemed to have settled on me remarkably quickly.

We became inseparable over the next few weeks. Of course, Rachel was told what we were and that she was my Imprint and although she was uneasy with the idea at first, she agreed to see how things went with me and only days after that we were in each other's company for every minute that it was possible, including her staying nights with me at Dad's house, much to Jacob's horror.

Embry didn't return until October, by which time there had been a number of surprising changes. The leech lover married Edward Cullen and a month later they had a freaky half-human half-vampire child which Jacob proceeded to Imprint on. Up until that point he had been obsessed with Bella and I found the whole situation hilarious, if a touch sickening. Even Rachel hated the fact that her brother had a half-vampire Imprint and it didn't take much encouragement for her to pack her things and move in with me. Dad was all for it and it worked pretty well.

I barely saw Embry after that. The few times we did run into each other, he spoke in a friendly way and seemed interested to hear what I was doing, but he always looked like hell and each time I'd seen him, I _felt_ like hell. I knew there was no getting over an Imprint unless they died and he must still be longing for me, despite his pretence otherwise.

Even Quil had Imprinted by then, on Emily's little cousin Claire. He refused point blank to date while he waited years for her to grow up, although Jacob didn't seem likely to have the same problem. Renesmee was the equivalent of five years old within a year and estimated to be sixteen in another couple of years' time. Jacob regularly phased during that time to halt his own aging so that she would catch him up.

The rest of us, with the exception of Quil, let ourselves grow up normally. I didn't want to be stuck at sixteen forever, nor did any of the others and we had no cause to phase as a pack. Despite Victoria having escaped there had been no sign of her since the battle with the newborns, although the Cullens seemed convinced she was only biding her time before she came back to finish what she started.

I was working by then of course, in Dad's motorcycle business. As soon as I was earning, Rachel and I rented a house together on the Reservation and I began spending my life doing exactly what I had always imagained I never would - living in domestic bliss with a woman I adored, my erratic behaviour and foul temper long forgotten. Even Jacob had quit complaining when he saw how happy his sister was and most of the time he was so busy being besotted with his little half-leech Imprint that he didn't care what the rest of us did.

Even Leah found happiness eventually, with a guy from a new family who moved onto the Reservation. With her focus taken away from Sam, our Alpha and Emily were finally able to move on from Sam's guilt and enjoy their lives. The only one who continued to have nothing was Embry. I had heard that he started going on dates with various guys, but all they ever amounted to was a first date and then he would ditch them. It was as if he was repeatedly trying to do something to take his mind off Imprinting and each time giving it up as a failure. It was the one thing that still marred my happiness with Rachel. She knew about him, of course she did and I knew she felt my guilt over him, much as I tried not to let it affect us.

I had been with her over three and a half years when I finally pulled my thumb out of my butt and bought her an engagement ring. I'd wanted to do it from our first anniversary, but something always stopped me. It wasn't as if I didn't love her enough or doubted she loved me. We were like two halves of the same person, but somehow, despite the Imprint, a tiny part of me thought we wouldn't make it and that little part was right. I never got to put the ring on her finger after all.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

It had happened a week ago. I wasn't the romantic type - not at all - but Rachel liked that sort of thing and I had planned to take her out to one of her favourite restaurants in Forks on Sunday night, wine and dine her and then do the 'down on one knee' part. I guessed I could live it down for once, with it being a special occasion.

Before that, however, was a Saturday afternoon ball game. Jake had got into the habit of taking Billy into Port Angeles to see the games when the team were playing at home and that weekend, with it being Billy's fiftieth birthday, more of the pack were roped in to give the tribe elder a day to remember.

Sam had borrowed Sue Clearwater's MPV and he and Jake and Quil and Jared and I all went along with Billy. I wasn't a fan of baseball, but I figured it wouldn't kill me to watch it for a couple hours and stuff myself with food from the stands in the park while I did so.

Jake had tickets and took his Dad off to find the seats while the rest of us bought enough food to feed most of the Reservation and then some. My stomach began to rumble at the smell of the chilli dogs and hamburgers and nachos and I began to think I would enjoy myself after all.

The home team won, much to Billy's delight and when everyone was done eating I had polished off what was left, earning various comments of, 'Paul, you're such a pig!' which I had grown used to over the years. I hated to see good food go to waste – or _any _food actually. After leaving the ball park we went on to a bar to sink a few beers and then drove home.

It was approaching midnight when we reached La Push and as soon as we drew near to Billy and Jacob's house, it was obvious something was wrong. Seth Clearwater came running towards us, holding his arm pressed to his body as if he were in pain, tears streaming down his face. He stumbled into Sam's arms, choking, barely able to speak. Quil, Jared and I threw ourselves out of the vehicle and looked around us, becoming aware of the sound of other people crying.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded, suddenly filling up with dread.

"V-Victoria came with a n-new army," stammered Seth, pulling back from Sam and scrubbing his hands over his face.

"_What?" _Jake cried. "There was no warning? Where are the Cullens? Didn't Alice see anything?"

I knew Alice was the one who had visions and had seen the previous attack several days before it came.

"She's in Europe with Jasper, I don't know what they're doing, something to do with the Volturi?" Seth sniffled, making it sound like a question. "She did see Victoria coming, but not until she was almost here. She called Carlisle Cullen and by the time they got here..." He broke off and wept again.

"Where's Rachel?" I demanded suddenly.

"And Renesmee?" Jacob added at once. "She was at our house waiting for us to come back."

"I d-don't know," Seth moaned. "Everything happened so fast. Embry called Leah and we both ran out and started fighting." He rubbed the arm he was holding against his body. "One of them broke my front leg, but it's healing ok."

"Is anyone else hurt? What about Claire and Emily?" Quil asked, wide-eyed and worried.

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

"Sam!"

We all looked up at the sound of Emily's voice as she came towards us as fast as she could manage with the weight of the six-year-old Claire in her arms, the little girl clinging around her neck. Kim was trotting alongside her.

"Oh, God, Sam!" Emily passed Claire to Quil and slumped into Sam's arms now as Kim did into Jared's. "We hid in the cellar. They knew we were down there, they could smell us, but Embry fought them off, he was so brave."

"Was he hurt?" Sam asked. "Where is he?"

"He's ok, a few cuts, but they're healing. Some people d-didn't make it."

I didn't wait to hear any more. I broke into a run and headed straight for my house. Rachel had to be ok. I flew down the road, passing a number of houses where screaming and crying indicated other families had lost loved ones. My steps slowed as I reached our driveway and saw the door standing open, the light from the hallway shining out onto the porch.

"Rachel!" I yelled. "Rach, where are you?"

She wasn't here, I told myself. She had run out of the house to safety and was somewhere else on the Reservation. I charged from one room to the next until I came to the bathroom, the door torn off its hinges and lying flat on the floor.

"Fuck! No! _No!" _I yelled at the house. I had been at that fucking stupid ball game, ramming food down my neck in a way that would make most people sick while vampires stormed the Reservation. I should have been here to protect them – we all should - and now here was my beautiful Imprint, lying on the bathroom floor with a hideous bite mark on her throat, her white t-shirt stained red down the front. It was my fault. Even though years had passed since the last attack, we should have been ready. Victoria was never going to just leave and forget that we destroyed her army and killed her mate.

I turned and smashed my fist into the wall, hot tears pricking my eyes as I let out a roar of rage and pain knifed through my body, making my legs weaken. Oh God, my Imprint was dead and I couldn't even think past the agony filling me. I phased on the spot and raced from the house, wanting to put as much space between me and the ruin that my life had become as possible.

* * *

My eyes snapped open and I realised I had broken out in a sweat. I breathed deep, desperately trying to calm myself and stop thinking about it. I couldn't let myself phase on the plane, somehow I had to swallow it and get to my new apartment in New York. I rubbed my sleeve across my forehead and blinked rapidly, glancing furtively around me. No one was looking my way and apparently hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, although I wouldn't have been surprised to find I had been cursing out loud.

For the next ninety minutes I used all my willpower to keep my mind on my destination and my new home and job which awaited me, both easily sourced by my Dad who had contacts over a good part of the country. A studio apartment was all I wanted and one had been found in Queens which seemed reasonable. I was to stay tonight in a motel and then collect the keys to the apartment from the agent the following morning.

With the plane finally on the ground, I grabbed my backpack and disembarked, going to baggage claim first to rescue my enormous suitcase and then heading out to find a cab to take me to a motel. I was hungry and exhausted and after I checked in to the nearest Super 8, I headed across the street to a diner and filled up with a large plate of chilli and rice. Somehow despair didn't seem to dampen a wolf's appetite much. Back in the motel an hour later, I let the rest of the memories assault my mind, knowing I wouldn't get a wink of sleep if I tried blocking them, probably not even then. I had barely slept since it happened.

* * *

I returned at dawn to find many people on the Reservation pulling together, having the bodies taken away to a makeshift morgue at the school since there was only room for two in the undertaker's building. Eight Quileutes had been lost altogether, including Quil's Gramps, who had mercifully died of a heart attack before one of the vampires could touch him. In addition, I discovered that Renesmee was gone, leaving Jacob, Bella and Edward devastated. Apparently she had been Victoria's main focus, although the vampire had wanted revenge on the wolves as well. The only good thing was that Victoria had finally been destroyed, by Emmett and Edward Cullen, her body torn to pieces and burned afterwards.

There was no sign of Jacob anywhere although the others were all helping each other and as I numbly joined in, it was Embry who was the first to speak to me.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Yeah." I had nothing to say to him. I had nothing to say to anybody. I doubted anyone could imagine what I was feeling at the moment, except maybe for Jacob.

I stuck it out as long as I could. I took Rachel to the morgue by myself, somehow working on autopilot and not letting myself think, although constant pain wracked my body and all I wanted to do was phase again and flee. I did exactly that some time in the afternoon when I had done what needed doing. As I walked off towards the forest, peeling off my shirt and tossing it to the ground, Sam's voice called after me, asking that I look out for Jacob. It was suspected that he had phased too and was out running somewhere alone.

I acknowledged Sam's words with a brief nod before I phased on the fly, but I had no intention of going looking for Jacob; he was the last person I wanted to see right now. If it hadn't been for him we wouldn't have been at a fucking ball game instead of protecting our families. I ran, snarling, my ears flattened against the sides of my head, paws pounding the earth as I flew through the trees, on and on as dusk fell and the moon emerged. I was close to the Canadian border, high in the mountains, my paws landing in snow as I gradually stopped running and halted on a peak to look around me. The night was silent as if even the owls daren't let out a sound lest they draw attention to themselves. Then suddenly an anguished howl cut through the night and I jerked my head to the left. Jacob was close by, within a mile of me.

I stayed where I was, lowering my belly to the ground and lying there, hearing only silence again as an hour crawled by, then another. Maybe I should talk to him. Right now I wanted to attack him, but he was in the same boat as me, even though his Imprint had been a fucking creepy half-vamp that was better off dead anyway. I winced at the thought; that was cruel even for me. He didn't deserve it. He couldn't help fate. I hauled myself to my feet and began to pad slowly in the direction his howl had come from. I couldn't hear his thoughts and I guessed he was blocking them the same way I was.

I found him about a half hour later, standing in the snow, head hanging, motionless. Pain came off of him in waves, but he still let out no coherent thoughts.

"_Jacob..."_

He sprang without making any reply. One moment he was completely still, not even looking my way and the next he was flying at me, teeth bared, growling and snapping before he barrelled into me a second later. Temper flared in me immediately and as we rolled in the snow, a ball of furious red and grey fur, I thrust my head down and sank my teeth into one of his forelegs.

"_Damnit, Jake, we're on the same side here!"_

He gave no reply, but his claws slashed at me and I felt them slice through my fur and into flesh.

"_Fuck you, then!" _

He was behaving like me and I knew why; I wanted to kill the first person who got in my way too and I lashed out, then shook him off and sprang back, crouching. We fought on, snapping and biting, throwing each other to the ground, cuts and bites healing rapidly, our mutual fury and intense body heat brought on by emotion barely allowing the wounds to bleed before they were knitted back together. Then suddenly it was over.

Jacob was standing over me, his teeth embedded in my neck and one paw on my chest when he suddenly let go and crumpled to the ground, flopping onto his belly with a deep whine. In seconds he was human again, curled up on one side with his arms wrapped around himself, weeping. I phased back quickly and was immediately hit by more intense anguish, it having abated to about half while in wolf form.

"I'm sorry, Paul, I'm so sorry, I'm not mad at you," Jake moaned. "You more than anybody know how I feel right now."

"Yeah. I'm sorry too," I grunted. "I'm sorry about Renesmee."

"No, you're not, you hated her." He sat up slowly, sniffing.

"I hated what she was. I wouldn't wish this on anyone; losing an Imprint." I flinched and covered my face with my hands as my own tears welled up. Rachel was gone and I still couldn't believe it.

We sat in silence, a couple of feet apart, weeping quietly, drowning in our own individual agonies and at the same time, sharing each stab of pain. Then suddenly Jacob shuffled over, closing the gap between us and wrapping an arm around my neck, pressing his face into my throat. He was still crying and I felt his tears, hotter than my own body, searing my skin. For a long moment I didn't know what to do with myself and then I found myself folding both arms around him. It was comfort that both of us needed, no one else being capable of offering it when only we knew how the other felt.

Fuck, I didn't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking at all in actual fact, I was just doing the same as him; clinging onto something that eased the despair somehow. One moment we were holding onto each other crying and the next we were kissing. I had never looked at him that way and didn't even now – the only guy I had ever had even the faintest stirring for was Embry, but suddenly I was hard and as Jacob shoved me down onto my back in the snow and pressed himself onto me, it was clear he was just as excited.

Even as I told myself I didn't want this, that it was wrong on so many levels, I was running my hands down his body, squeezing his butt and pulling him in tighter to me, our cocks rubbing together, my knee rising up and shoving his thighs apart so that he straddled me. He was perhaps a fraction stronger than me and attempted to dominate the situation, but I hooked a foot around his ankle, moved one hand to grip him by the neck and flipped him over. No coherent thought was part of what happened then. I didn't think about what I was doing, that I would regret it and that we would probably finish up hating each other. I propped myself up slightly, grasped his cock in my hand and began to pump slowly at first, then faster until in almost no time he came in my hand, his hands gripping my shoulders as if he meant to break bones. I used the fluid in my hand to coat myself in the absence of lube, figuring it would be better than nothing, but I had at least learned something from the first time and spent a couple of minutes preparing him with my fingers first. He didn't tense or flinch although when I eventually thrust myself into him, his teeth sank through the skin of my shoulder and drew blood.

We both finished in silence, panting and grinding teeth together, using each other as comfort and release and nothing more. When I pulled away Jacob sat up quickly, resting his elbows on his knees and staring down at his toes curling in the snow.

"What the hell was that?" he said under his breath.

"Fucked if I know. Sorry," I grunted. I regretted it already. Stupidly my first thought wasn't that I had just defiled the memory of Rachel by fucking someone else within hours of her being killed, but that I screwed another _guy_ and Embry would hate it if he knew. Right after that I felt guilty about Rachel.

"If I'd wanted to stop you, I would've," Jacob muttered back, his face red. "Now I wish I had."

"Yeah, me too."

"You've done it before?" he asked then.

"Once."

"Embry, right?"

"He tell you that?"

"Wild guess," Jacob shrugged. "You should be with him instead of me. His Imprint might help you."

"Nothing will help me. Same as it won't you until we learn to live with it." I shook myself and got to my feet. "We should get back."

"Yeah." He reached up and grabbed hold of my wrist, using me as a lever to pull himself up. "I think we should forget about this."

"Fine with me."

We nodded at each other and that was that. We phased and ran back to La Push to face everything, although I found it wasn't as easy to forget as I hoped. In my mind I had fucked up hugely and I deserved everything I got.

* * *

The last few days since then had passed in a blur. The Reservation held a large ceremony for everyone who had been killed; Rachel and Quil's Gramps and the others were all buried in the cemetary although Renesmee was taken back to the Cullens' house for their own private burial. Unlike the other Cullens, her human side had prevented her turning to dust. Jacob went over there alone and didn't return before I left the Reservation.

I hadn't gone back to my house except to pack some belongings. Dad hadn't wanted me to leave, but he understood and had helped me. He had organised everything for me and all I had to do was get on the plane. Part of me had wanted to see Embry before I left, but I didn't seek him out and he didn't come looking for me either. In a way that surprised me, but I didn't blame him. I'd hurt him horribly even before I Imprinted on Rachel and now I was convinced he would only have to look at me to know I'd been with Jacob and there was no way he deserved to find out I fucked his best friend.

And so I left one wet morning, Dad driving me to Seattle in his truck and leaving me at the airport, a home and a job waiting for me in New York and a room waiting for me in Dad's house should I ever want to come back. Somehow I couldn't see that happening. I felt like I had lost everything and leaving La Push behind was the only way to move on.

Now I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow with a groan, wondering if I was ever going to be able to shut it all out. However, it was only hours since I arrived and I had only one day to kill before I started my job custom building bikes again. Ten hours a day, six days a week, fifty weeks in the year. All I could do was concentrate on one day at a time and wade through the physical pain which threatened to crush me.

I woke some twelve hours later, surprised that I hadn't moved an inch in that time. I had thought I would at least be plagued with nightmares, but that hadn't happened. For about ten seconds I forgot until suddenly it all came back like a punch in the guts and I sat up quickly, gasping and heaving, grabbing for the glass of water I had put on the bed table in an effort not to vomit. I breathed deep and managed to calm myself, but stupidly I began to replay the whole damned story again in my mind and I flopped back against the pillows, wishing once again that Dad had never moved us from Tacoma to La Push; then I wouldn't be here, writhing in agony over a lost Imprint. Fuck fate. What had it ever done for me except give me things I didn't want, make me want them after all and then snatch them away again.

I allowed myself to fill up with just enough anger to propel me off the bed and into my first day in New York without actually phasing. Then I showered, checked out of the motel and took a cab to the agent's office to collect the keys for the apartment. The cab waited for me and in another hour I was unlocking the door to my new home.

The studio apartment was tiny, but it was all I needed. A living room with one corner made out like a kitchen, a sofa which opened out into a bed and a small bathroom leading off of it. That was all. Dad had paid someone from the agency to come in the previous day and leave a pile of new bedding and towels and fill up the refrigerator for me and as usual I was hungry, whatever else might be going on. I took a frozen dinner out of the freezer and put it into the microwave, then munched a half dozen slices of bread and cheese while I waited, chugging down a pint of milk along with it.

After eating, I pulled out my cellphone and switched it on. I'd turned it off before I got on the plane the day before and left it that way. I had several texts from both Dad and Sam and I answered Dad now, letting him know I arrived safely and was in the apartment. I read Sam's messages, asking whether I was ok and to call if I needed anything.

Was I ok? Of course I wasn't fucking ok. Nothing he could possibly offer would make it any better either. I briefly thought of the pack – Sam and Jared and Quil all still had their Imprints. Leah and her man were ok, Seth healed and would no doubt find a girl or a guy, whatever his preference was. Jacob and Embry...I didn't want to even think about them. I fucked up badly with each of them, the latter more than the former and the more I thought about them, the more sick I felt with myself. The best thing for me to do was just forget, however hard that would be. Forget and make a new life for myself, somehow. I deleted Sam's messages and then one by one, erased all of the pack's number from my phone. I knew I wouldn't be needing them again.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Sam didn't just give up and leave me to get on with things – he tried calling, texting and emailing, as did Jared, but all I wanted to do was forget about La Push and everything it. I knew it would be virtually impossible, but it was the only thing I could think of to do. I changed my phone number, cancelled my email account and set up a new one, keeping in touch with only Dad, who did as I asked and never told me anything about life on the Reservation. He talked about his bikes and trips he took to shows and at Christmas he flew out to New York to spend a couple of days with me. We ate Christmas dinner in a hotel and then downed a bottle of bourbon in the apartment, passing out eventually and waking the next morning with mammoth hangovers. I cooked a huge pile of bacon and eggs for breakfast and Dad caught the afternoon flight back to Seattle.

I carried on the way I was until the summer, at which time I had been in New York almost a year. I was still plagued with reruns of everything I fucked up on going around and around my mind like a continuous movie reel and nothing got any better. My heart didn't hurt as such, but the physical pain throughout my whole body caused by my lost Imprint stuck with me stubbornly and I doubted I would ever get rid of it. I had been told a wolf often never recovered from what I had been through and I expected Jacob must be in the same position. I still felt as if I was living from one day to the next, never making any plans, never looking forward, never even considering going on a date, despite a few attempts at hitting on me by people of both sexes.

Then early one Sunday morning suddenly things changed. As usual I hadn't slept well and I went out for some decent coffee, rather than make my own instant crap which I usually did. There was a coffee house two blocks down from my apartment and I set off slowly, my hands shoved into my pockets, my eyes on the sidewalk ahead of me, barely aware of anything going on around me.

"Paul!"

I froze and spun around at the sound of the voice. How the fuck had he found me? And why now, almost a year later?

"What are you doing here, Sam?" I asked warily as he reached me.

"I spent the last couple of days looking for you. Your Dad wouldn't tell me anything, by the way. I looked up custom bike businesses and asked questions."

"So you just came here to catch up? Tell me what I'm missing?" I sneered. I couldn't help myself. I was startled, my heart hammering and I hated feeling like I had been caught out.

"Good to see you too," Sam said wrily. "We all missed you, you know."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I would have bet Embry and Jacob missed be like a hole in the head. Then again, Embry was programmed to miss me, whatever I might have done to him. I cringed inwardly. I hadn't forgotten about him over the last year, but I had done my best not to dwell on it. I had been hurting enough over the loss of Rachel without adding to it the guilt of rejecting Embry.

"Fine, Paul. I'm just going to say what I came to say. Embry's dying."

"_What?"_

I couldn't have predicted that if I had spent the whole day guessing and my breath stuck in my throat as I waited for him to continue. He was dying? All kinds of scenarios began to run through my head - a vampire attacking him, some kind of sickness that wolves weren't resistant to, perhaps pining away the same way I was. I gulped and scowled. It wouldn't be that.

"Look, can we go somewhere and talk?" Sam asked.

"Fine. This way." I began to lead him back to my apartment, thinking instant coffee would have to do. I felt sick in addition to the way I usually felt. "What's wrong with him?" I prompted as I led the way into the building. "He's sick? What?"

"He was in an accident."

I unlocked my door and shoved it open. "You want coffee?"

"No, I don't want coffee, Paul, I want you to at least care a tiny bit that one of your brothers is in a coma."

"He's not my brother," I blurted. The pack were all considered brothers, but I hadn't been able to think of Embry like that since I slept with him. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded," I sighed, anxiety pricking at me. "What happened?"

"His car went off the cliff, you know where we used to jump? Sixteen-wheeler ran him off the road. Charlie Swan saw it happen."

"Shit," I hissed. "But he'll heal..."

Sam shook his head. "It looked like he might. He was pretty banged up. We had him taken to the Cullens', Carlisle's looking after him, but it's been a month. He's getting weaker and weaker. It's like subconsciously he thinks it's time to give up."

"But surely his wolf will make him heal," I frowned.

"It's not, though. His body's cool, like his wolf has either left him or it wants to die too. You need to come back, Paul."

"What?" I swallowed hard. "What do you think I can do?"

"You're his Imprint, Paul, he might respond to you."

"Don't you think I have enough shit to deal with already?" I barked suddenly. "You still got your Imprint, remember? You have no idea..."

"Yeah, I do," Sam interrupted. "I see Jacob every day. You know, Embry might help you, have you thought of that? I know you must feel something from his Imprint. Emily and Kim and Claire all do."

"How long has he been like this?" I asked more calmly. I wasn't sure what to think, but I knew I didn't want him to die.

"A month, I told you."

"No, I meant, wanting to give up."

"He's never been the same since you left. Believe it or not, you and Jacob will both get better eventually, quicker if you make efforts to help yourselves. When an Imprint dies, the link stretches out and grows weaker until it breaks. With a rejection, the Imprinter never recovers while their Imprint is still living."

"Fuck," I muttered.

"So?" Sam prompted, staring piercingly at me. "You are coming back, right?"

"Yeah," I said automatically. I felt a stab of fear mixed with something else – anticipation.

"You're coming back to La Push," Sam repeated.

"Yeah, Sam, I said yes!" I snapped. "When's your flight?"

"I got an open-ended ticket."

"Which airport did you come into?" I went on, grabbing my backpack and beginning to stuff some items into it.

"LaGuardia."

"Call a cab, will you?" I said and began to reel off the number of a local cab firm which I used regularly. Living where I did there was no point owning a car; it cost a fortune for a parking permit and the subway was faster and more convenient.

Just over an hour later we were at the airport, waiting for a noon flight. It had only been half full and had taken brief minutes for Sam to book his seat and for me to buy my own ticket. Sam raised an eyebrow as I requested 'one way' and I had just shrugged. I didn't know how long I would be staying.

I spent most of the flight wondering whether I was making a mistake going back. It wasn't like the memories were going to bother me; they were with me wherever I was and being back on the Reservation would hardly make it any worse. But I wasn't sure how I would feel about seeing Embry; part of me wanted to help him and the other part just felt uncomfortable about everything that happened. In addition, I was sure to run into Jacob at some point and I wasn't sure of the best way to behave; pretend nothing happened, joke about it, talk about it or ignore him completely. Perhaps I could just go straight to the Cullens' to see Embry, then go to my Dad's and keep out of everybody else's way.

The flight passed much more quickly than the one I had taken a year ago when I left. In what seemed like no time we were in Seattle, collecting Sam's truck from the lot and heading off in the direction of Forks. We stopped once for gas and food and then drove straight to the Cullens'. Esme Cullen came outside as we pulled up and waited for us to reach the porch.

"Hello, Sam. Paul."

"Afternoon, Esme," Sam returned. I just nodded.

"Go right in," she added. "Carlisle is with him."

"Any change?" asked Sam.

"No, I'm sorry." Esme stood back as Sam led the way into the house and down a long corridor to a room at the end with a door standing slightly open. As we approached, Carlisle stepped out of it and greeted us.

"I'll leave you to it," Sam said then and I looked at him, startled.

"You're just going to go?"

"You don't need me here."

"Yeah, ok."

I felt stupidly nervous, unsure how to react to seeing Embry again. I stayed where I was as Sam walked off again and then stepped through the open door. Embry was lying on a bed like the ones you would find in a hospital with rails at the sides, a drip attached to his left arm and a heart monitor bleeping away steadily beside him. He was pale and thin and barely looked alive. He had grown his hair again, I noticed, although it only reached his shoulders so far. I wanted nothing more that to take off again rather than deal with things and I shook myself in annoyance.

"What should I do?" I asked Carlisle.

"Sit with him; hold his hand and talk to him. Let him know you're here."

"How will he even be aware of that if he's in a coma?"

"The subconscious is often much more aware than we realise. Besides, Sam tells me an Imprint is so strong that it creates a physical pull; that might work in his favour. I'll leave you alone."

"Oh, but..." I began to protest, but Carlisle had already stepped past me and was disappearing down the corridor. I took a deep breath, walked over to the bed and sat in the chair beside it. Surprisingly Embry was breathing without assistance, but the rising and falling of his chest was so shallow that I almost expected it to stop moving at any moment. Gingerly I reached out and touched his hand, almost flinching away when I felt how cool his skin was. It was unnatural for a wolf to have such a low temperature.

"Embry, it's me...Paul," I said, then stopped and cleared my throat. What the hell was I supposed to say? Are you ok? Obviously not. Did you miss me? Of course. Sorry I fucked your best friend? I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut for a second. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Sam came to get me," I said. "I was in New York. He said you went off a cliff and you won't heal yourself, you know, that's just stupid, Embry. You can't seriously want to die."

The steady bleep on the monitor sped up just a fraction and I jumped, dropping his hand as if it had suddenly burned me. Then the bleep stopped altogether and I watched in horror as the flatline crept across the screen, before I leaped out of the chair in a panic.

"_Carlisle! Get in here, quick! Help!" _I roared.

Carlisle burst into the room again seconds later, just as I had reached out to grab hold of Embry's hand again.

"I didn't do anything, I just touched his hand and talked!" I gasped. "For fuck's sake, Embry! I'm supposed to be helping..."

"Paul, stand back, please," Carlisle instructed, but just as I was about to do as he asked, several things happened at once. The monitor's bleep returned, Embry sucked in a sudden huge breath and his hand squeezed my fingers as if he meant to break bones. I held on and sat down again. Slowly, unbelievably, Embry's eyes flickered open.

"Paul?" he croaked.

"Yeah." My heart was slamming rapidly against my ribs and the sound on the monitor sped up to indicate Embry's was keeping time.

Carlisle backed away again, grabbed a cloth and ran it under cold water, then carefully used it to moisten Embry's dry lips.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered seconds later.

"I came back."

"Why?"

"Sam told me what happened to you. They're all worried you'll die."

"What about you?"

"Yeah, me too," I said gruffly. The back of my throat and my eyes prickled and I had a horrible feeling that I might cry. I cleared my throat and tried to be myself. "So quit fucking about, Embry, and heal yourself. I'm staying and I want..."

What did I want? Another spur of the moment romp? Rejecting his Imprint? Leaving him to die from the inside out while I did the same, pining away for an Imprint who hadn't simply rejected me, but died, meaning there was no going back? All of that ran through my head and for several moments I wasn't sure how to continue, or even if I meant what I said about staying. Would I stay? Until he got better or longer? Was I ready to come back to La Push and face everything? Maybe it was what I needed. Maybe Sam was right and that Embry's Imprint would help me while I in turn helped him.

"...I want to see what we can salvage out of this mess," I said firmly. "I can't move on from Rachel; not unless I can find something else. I can't make any promises, but maybe your Imprint will help me. Maybe finally I can give you something back."

Embry just stared at me in astonishment while I spoke, licking his lips occasionally.

"If you even want to try, that's enough to make me want to get out of this damned bed. I'm pretty sure I outstayed my welcome by now." He glanced sheepishly at Carlisle who was now hovering by the door. "How soon do you think I can get out of here?"

"We need to get some food into you and start you healing," Carlisle said. "Esme will conjure something up. You have some pretty nasty injuries; broken legs and a smashed pelvis as well as some internal damage. I'm assuming your wolf will be able to fix that now you're back with us. The bones are all set so they will heal correctly."

"That all sounds like it's going to fucking hurt," Embry grimaced. He turned his gaze back to me now and he looked scared. "You're not going to leave, are you?"

"No." I shook my head decidedly. "I'm staying."

"Thanks." He closed his eyes and tears squeezed out from beneath the lids. My guts clenched suddenly. It was the first time I had managed to forget about my own pain in a year.

"You'll be ok," I said softly. "I promise."

An hour later, Esme appeared with two enormous plates of pasta with a separate dish holding garlic bread. Carlisle raised the head of Embry's bed, propping him up so that he could eat. He was too weak to lift a fork, but Carlisle helped him out while I shovelled food down my neck with my usual greed. By the time the meal was done, a little of Embry's colour had returned and his temperature was rising rapidly. Carlisle lowered him down flat again and gave him some morphine as he began to grimace and complain that everything hurt and in another half hour his skin was on fire and pouring sweat and he was screaming in agony as his body began healing. Carlisle topped up the morphine regularly and I gripped Embry's hand, cringing each time he howled, almost feeling his own pain physically myself. It went on for hours and I repeatedly swapped the hand which held Embry's, my skin and flesh torn by his nails and having to repeatedly heal until both of my hands were peppered with fading scars.

Eventually in the small hours of the next morning, Embry's hand went limp in mine and I realised he was sleeping. His breathing was slow and even and his temperature had reduced to virtually the same as mine. It was over. He was healed and now I had to think about what to do next. I slipped away from him and went outside, using my cellphone to call Sam to let him know what happened. Afterwards I called Dad to let him know I was back and that I would see him in the day or two. When I returned to the house, Carlisle and Emmett were in the process of setting up a second bed close to Embry's for me to make use of until he woke again and would hopefully be able to leave.

Carlisle informed me that he had called Embry's mother to let her know and that she would be coming over to see him first thing in the morning. She had spent the first week after the accident at the Cullens' but since then visited for a couple of hours a day, realising that there was nothing she could do.

I took my boots off and sprawled out on the bed with my eyes closed, doubting I would be able to sleep, but when I opened my eyes again I was surprised to find several hours had passed and Embry was already awake, lying on his side watching me.

"Hey," he said with a shy smile. "You were snoring."

"Fuck off." I sat up with a groan. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit stiff and sore, but I can get about ok."

I blinked hard and realised he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt now, whereas he had been uncovered before except for a sheet.

"Thanks," Embry said then. A blush coloured his cheeks and he didn't look at me directly.

"What for?"

"Coming back to help me. I didn't expect it. I mean, I wouldn't have if I'd been aware of anything. Did you mean what you said last night?"

"Which part?" I desperately needed coffee and for a moment I could barely remember what I had said.

"About staying."

"Yeah, I meant it." I reached across the gap between the beds suddenly and grasped his hand again. I felt different. Waking up today was different from waking up the last few hundred days. I still felt hollow and in pain from the loss of my Imprint, but at the same time I had a feeling of hope and a curious determination that I wasn't about to let Embry down again if I could possibly avoid it.

"Breakfast, boys!" Alice Cullen almost skipped into the room suddenly, carrying a large tray holding two plates of cooked breakfast and two very welcome mugs of coffee. She placed the tray on the table between the two beds and stepped back. "Embry, your mother called, she'll be here in about an hour, ok?"

"Sure, thanks Alice." Amusingly Embry seemed more keen to get at the food than me and in seconds was gobbling bacon and eggs and cramming huge bites of toast into his mouth. I watched as I drank my coffee, enormously relieved. He was going to be ok. And so was I, in time.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

After breakfast I used one of the Cullens' bathrooms to freshen up and brush my teeth and then Embry's Mom arrived, keen to whisk him off home immediately and apparently not pleased to see me hanging around. I wondered if she knew everything that happened.

"Mom, we need to give Paul a ride back," Embry said as she hustled him towards the door without giving me more that a cursory glance.

"Embry, you can see your friends another time when you're properly better," she said firmly. "Thank you, Dr Cullen, for taking care of him," she added as they passed Carlisle on the way to the door.

"I wouldn't even have woken up if Paul hadn't come back, either we give him a ride or I'll walk back with him," Embry protested stubbornly, halting at the door. I grinned to myself.

"Really, it's fine, I'll make my own way back," I said.

"There, you see, he's fine, now let's go." Tiffany Call gripped Embry's arm now to pull him outside, but he didn't move. Despite his alarming weight and muscle loss, he was still a lot bigger that his mother.

"Mom, I'm not a kid any more, I'm twenty-one, for God's sake," he muttered.

"Well, you're not acting like it." She looked over her shoulder at me now. "Fine, come on, then."

I sat in the back of the car as we travelled the short distance back to La Push. Tiffany didn't bother to ask if I wanted dropping at Dad's house or Sam's, but simply drove straight back to her own house and parked on the driveway.

"I'm sorry," Embry whispered, reddening as we got out of the car and stood a few feet away from his Mom while she stared pointedly at him with her eyebrows raised.

"Don't worry about it. Have you got your phone with you?"

"No, I think I must have lost it in the accident."

I pulled out my own cellphone and handed it to him. "Have this for now. Dad has a couple of spares. I'll text you later with the number I'm on."

"Thanks, Paul." His eyes lifted slowly to meet mine now and he smiled shyly. "I can't believe you came back."

"Well, I did, so you better get used to it. I'll see you later maybe."

"Embry!" Tiffany's voice interrupted again and Embry's cheeks flushed deeper.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"Don't be, I'll text you when I get home and you can let me know when you can escape." I flashed him a grin and set off to Dad's, wondering exactly what was going to happen between us. Whatever it was, curiously it kept pulling my thoughts away from Rachel and my own pain and that could only be a good thing.

I walked slowly and reached Dad's house about ten minutes later. I thought Dad would have gone to work by then, but he was home and when I walked in he told me Sam had called him to say I was back.

"How's Embry?" he asked, indicating Sam had outlined the last couple of days' events to him already.

"Ok. His Mom took him home." I had no intention of telling him I intended to spend time with Embry in the hopes that his Imprint may help me and because I wanted to redeem myself for causing him so many years of pain. I wasn't so sure he would take the idea of me being with a guy too well. "I'm going to be back for a while," I went on. "Maybe for good."

"Well, you know you always got a roof over your head here and a job as long as you want it," Dad said at once. "Did you bring your things?"

"No." I held up the small backpack. "I'll go back for them if I decide to stay. I'll start work tomorrow, if that's ok."

"Sure," Dad nodded at once. "I'm going over there myself soon. Anything you need first?"

"A cellphone?" I said.

"You didn't bring your phone? Huh, I wondered why you hadn't called me. Here." He opened a drawer and pulled out a spare phone and power cable. "It'll need a charge, it hasn't been used in a while."

"Thanks."

Dad left maybe a half hour later and by then, the phone had enough battery life for me to start using it. I sent a text to the phone I had given Embry the minute Dad was out the door.

'This is the number I'm using. Paul.'

The reply came in seconds.

'Thanks. Can we hang out? Mom is driving me nuts already.'

'Sure, come over,' I tapped out and almost sent it before I realised he was still weak. 'Want me to pick you up?' I added.

'No, I'm good, Jacob just came over, will get a ride.'

I didn't answer. _Fuck! _Obviously I would have had to see Jake at some point, but the last thing I expected was facing the both of them at once. Hell, how awkward? I knew I would have to tell Embry what happened, but I would rather have done it _before _I had to see Jacob.

Shit, shit, _shit!_

I headed for the bathroom quickly to shower, the brief wash at the Cullens' not having been sufficient and sweat was already breaking out all over my body as I wondered what in hell I was going to say when Embry and Jake turned up. I scrubbed myself vigorously under the hot water, towelled dry and liberally sprayed myself with Dad's deodorant. I just had time to drag on underwear, jeans and a shirt before there was a knock on the door and I headed down the hallway, took a deep breath and pulled the door open. Embry stood there by himself and I could see Jake's truck disappearing up the street. My breath hissed out with relief and I stepped aside to let Embry pass me.

"You want a coffee?" I offered. "I was just going to make some."

"Yeah, thanks." He shot me a small smile and followed me into the kitchen, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning against one of the counters while he watched me fill the kettle.

"You said your Mom's driving you mad," I commented, just for something to say.

"Yeah, she wanted me to go to bed for the rest of the day. I'm fine, just a bit weak. Have you got cookies?"

I relaxed and grinned. "Still hungry? Yeah, me too." I opened a cupboard and pulled out two packs of cookies - chocolate hazelnut and double chocolate. Embry tore open the double chocolate and began to munch his way through the pack as I made the coffees.

I was tempted to put it off and just hang out with him, but it was like Jacob was standing there in the room with us and I knew I should get it out of the way so we could hopefully get past it. I was just reluctant to say something that was going to give him another kick in the teeth.

"I need to tell you something," I said, placing the coffee I made him on the counter by the cookies. I took a gulp from my own mug, then put it down and folded my arms.

"I fucked up before I left last year. I mean, more than usual." I licked my lips. Damnit, he was going to be hurt. "It didn't mean anything at all, but you ought to know. After I lost Rachel...I mean, that day when I ran off and Sam said to watch out for Jacob..."

"I know," Embry interrupted.

"You _know?_"

I felt my mouth fall open and hang there. Shit. He knew what I did? With his best friend? All this time he had known. That just fucking sucked and I could feel my face burning. I had been ashamed of myself at the time, but never more so than right now. It would have been bad if I had to tell him about it, but this was worse.

"Yeah, Jacob..."

"He told you?" I said, hanging my head. I couldn't look at him.

"No, I guessed. He was so weird and awkward and I saw a brief flash of something in his mind before he hid it. He kept on phasing for a while and I joined him a few times and the first time he let slip. I told him it didn't matter; that I understood. You both lost an Imprint. He said he regretted it immediately."

"So did I," I said, raising my head to meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok."

"It's not ok," I groaned. "I was a real shit to you from the beginning and then that...it must have made you feel crap."

"Yeah, for a while, but like I said, I understood it." He dropped his eyes away and picked up his coffee mug, sipping carefully before he put it back down. "Did you...uh...regret being with me that night?"

"No," I said immediately. "I meant it when I said liked being with you. I was going to come and talk to you, but I dropped in at Jake's place to see how he was and Rachel turned up." I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. "Fate has a lot to answer for. It would have been so much different if I hadn't Imprinted."

Would it, I wondered? Would I have gotten together with Embry if I hadn't seen Rachel? Maybe. Or maybe someone else would have come along and fate would have tied me to them instead. I was immediately filled with guilt for thinking that and stabbed once again with the pain of losing my Imprint. Fuck! I turned away and slammed my fist into one of the wall cupboards, smashing the wood and embedding splinters in my knuckles.

"Fuck!" This time I said it out loud.

"Paul..." Embry's voice was soft and timid and I flinched when he touched the back of my shoulder. He snatched his hand back.

"Sorry," I grunted. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel, what I was supposed to think. I turned around. "I'm sorry, I feel guilty that she's gone and I'm thinking about what would have happened if I never met her. I feel like a shit for admitting I didn't choose her."

"I know. The tie is still strong, Sam said it would take a long time."

"Less with help." I tried a smile. "This is a really stupid question, I know, but how have you been? Really? I mean, I could feel how you felt when I was here, but it kind of got drowned by Rachel's death."

"It hasn't been great," Embry said. "I didn't think there was any point me carrying on. I wouldn't have done anything about it, I didn't drive off the cliff on purpose, in case you're wondering."

"Sam said a sixteen-wheeler took you out," I said quietly.

"Yeah. I think my wolf just gave up then though. Maybe he was sick of me moping." He gave me a weak smile and blinked rapidly as his eyes glistened.

"Em..." I didn't think I could have felt more awful, but I could feel everything he had been through even more acutely than I felt my own loss and my heart ached.

"Don't, I'm ok."

"No, you're not." I hesitated another moment and then grasped one of his wrists and pulled him closer to me. "Nor am I. I guess we probably need each other."

"You sure it's what you want?" Embry murmured. He was close enough that I could feel the heat of his breath on my throat and he laid his free hand on my chest over my heart. He must have been able to feel its rapid uneven hammering and I let go his other wrist, reached around him and linked my fingers loosely behind his back.

"Truthfully, I don't know what I want. I know I want to get over feeling like shit every minute I'm awake. I want to stop feeling guilty over everything. I want to take back the fact that I rejected you. Whatever does happen, I won't hurt you any more, I promise."

I wasn't sure where all that even came from. Perhaps instinct, or just my feelings emerging from under the blanket of agony they'd been buried under for a year.

"I'm here, always, for whatever you want, whether it's a friend, or something else," Embry whispered.

"I know."

I tightened my arms around him and we just stood there in silence, holding each other and leaning against the counter while the coffee went cold. Eventually we just stepped away from each other and I turned to refill the kettle. As I waited for it to boil I looked at my hand, now healed, and pulled splinters out of the skin.

We didn't speak of it again, but I felt more relaxed and Embry seemed to be too. We took the fresh mugs of coffee into the lounge, switched on the television and spent a few hours just hanging out, watching crap daytime shows and gossiping about the pack. Finally I wanted to hear what they had been doing and Embry told me about Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Quil and little Claire. Leah had broken up with her boyfriend and started dating someone new, Seth had sought Embry to confide in that he was gay and then begged him to go over to the Clearwaters' house to help him tell Leah and his parents.

"Wow, little Seth's gay? I never saw that coming," I said. "I thought he had girlfriends before I left."

"Huh, yeah, so did we. He was convinced his Dad would be ashamed of him so he hid it and got himself a bunch of female friends to hang out with. I didn't even realise, but I guess my mind was on other things. Anyway, Harry and Sue were pretty cool about it and Leah just laughed and said he was a jerk for worrying what they would think and when was he going to bring a boy home. He hasn't yet, by the way. He says he's waiting to meet 'the one', but I get the feeling he has a crush on Jacob."

"Actually, that's not that surprising," I said. "Remember when Seth first phased? He used to hang around Jake more than any of us, sort of hero-worshipped him."

"Yeah, he does it more now that Renesmee is gone. He thinks he can help. I don't know, Jake spends a lot of time with him, but I don't think he sees the kid like that. I say kid, he turned twenty a couple months ago," Embry grinned.

Embry stayed for the rest of the day. Tiffany called twice asking him to go home and the first time he told her he would be back 'soon' and the second time he didn't answer. We grazed on various snacks throughout the afternoon and then I ordered in some pizzas for dinner including one for Dad whenever he got home. However, Embry went on and on eating until he had consumed the extra pizza as well as his own. Laughing at some comedy show and stuffing myself, I didn't even notice until I went into the kitchen to find icecream for dessert and spotted the three empty boxes.

"Embry, did you seriously eat two whole pizzas?" I snorted.

"Yeah...um...I was hungry." He reddened and giggled. "Sorry. I'll order another one for your Dad."

"Don't worry about it, he can have a frozen dinner if he hasn't already eaten when he gets back. Here." I passed him a two-pint tub of chocolate icecream and a spoon. "Your wolf needs feeding up."

He finally left around seven-thirty. Dad still wasn't home and I drove him back in the truck, then went over to Sam's to catch up with him and Emily. Just my luck that Jacob, Quil, Claire and Seth were all there too, but I knew I needed to get the inevitable encounter with Jacob out of the way and the sooner the better. I made some half-hearted small talk with the group until Emily had gone to put Claire to bed and Seth, Quil and Sam were engrossed in some riveting conversation about the recent hurricane in the Caribbean. Jacob went into the kitchen to make drinks and I followed and pushed the door closed quietly behind me.

"What do you want, Paul?" he asked, looking about as uncomfortable as I felt.

"We have something to talk about," I said.

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't mean for Embry to find out, you know. He's my friend, I hated hurting him like that."

"I know. I would have had to tell him, though, if he didn't know already."

"What's happening with you two?" Jake asked. "He doesn't need his head fucking with any more. He's been in love with you for years, even before he Imprinted I think."

I felt a curious little flutter in my stomach at that statement and I suppressed a smile with difficulty. "I'm not going to fuck with him," I said. "We can't change what happened, but like I said to him, if we went back five years I wouldn't have rejected him. Fate chose Rachel for me, you know that, I barely even knew her."

"Yeah, well I guess I found it easier to blame you for it in the beginning," Jake said wrily, passing me a mug of coffee. "Look, as far as I'm concerned, you and me never happened. It was just that we were the only people who knew what the other felt like at that moment."

"That's cool with me," I grunted, sipping my drink. "So how have you been the last year?"

"Shit," he said with a slight snort. "You?"

"Same."

"But you came back for Embry."

"I wanted to help him if I could; I never stopped feeling guilty for his misery and it seems he can help me too. So what about you? You know if you have somebody else they can help you move on faster."

"Only if they Imprinted on me, which no one has," Jacob pointed out.

"Not necessarily. Surely if they're taking your mind off of it for at least part of the time, it's going to help."

"Yeah, well there isn't anyone who can do that for me," he shrugged, staring into his mug apparently to avoid looking at me.

"Isn't there? Not even a certain little wolf who had a birthday recently and has a crush on you the size of a house?" I smirked.

"Fuck off." Much to my surprise, Jake flushed. "I wouldn't wish myself on anyone, least of all Seth, he doesn't deserve this shit."

"Yeah, well maybe he wants it, have you thought of that?"

"He's just a kid."

"He's twenty years old, Jake and he's nuts about you," I grinned.

"Since when did you become a match-maker? It doesn't suit you one bit and you don't know what you're talking about anyway."

"Yeah, I do and you should think about it. I'll shut up now, I'm in danger of sounding like I actually give a shit."

"You always were soft, Paul, you just hid it well," he teased.

The door opened a moment later and Quil stuck his head around it. "This a private party or can anyone join in?"

"Just catching up, but we're done," Jacob said, holding out two mugs towards him. "Yours and Sam's."

I stayed another hour and during that time I didn't miss the way Seth continued to hang off Jacob's every word, sitting next to him on the sofa, almost but not quite close enough for their thighs to touch. Jacob in turn seemed to be paying more attention to him than he had before and the younger guy's face lit up even more than usual if that were possible. I smirked to myself a few times when I caught sight of them and would have been willing to bet something would develop eventually.

When I got home Dad was eating a frozen dinner and watching a movie. I left him to it and went to get an early night. It felt strange to be back in my old room and I stared up at the ceiling in the semi-darkness, the usual pain of loss I felt more acutely at night swamping me immediately. I determinedly pulled Embry to the forefront of my mind and thought about the time we had spent together that day; the way we talked and laughed together; the way he felt in my arms when we held each other in the kitchen. I had been able to feel his ribs and shoulder blades, his body worryingly fragile after a month in a coma, but the way he was eating his wolf would soon have him filling out again. I found I was smiling to myself and it had been a hell of a long time since I'd been able to do that.

I hesitated for a moment and then grabbed my cellphone to send him a message. Just before I began to type, the phone beeped and I opened the incoming message in surprise. It was from Embry.

'Thanks for today. Em. x.'

'Glad I came back. See you after work tomorrow?' I replied.

'Can't wait. Goodnight. x.'

I grinned to myself. I was glad I'd come back. It was still going to be a long road to me feeling anything like normal, but the first step hadn't been anything like as hard as I expected. For the first time I was happy Embry had Imprinted on me and at last I had something to look forward to again.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

When I woke the next morning, the first thing I felt once again, was the loss of Rachel. It was like a hole had been torn right through me, leaving me empty and yet at the same time filled with unbearable pain. I was slick with sweat, the sheets damp beneath me, my heart hammering as if it meant to break free of me.

"Fuck," I hissed, squeezing my eyes even tighter closed rather than open them and look at the empty room around me. Maybe coming back hadn't been so smart after all. Why the hell had I come back? I felt no different from any other day since I lost my Imprint, except for that one morning at the Cullens' when the first thing I saw when I woke was ...

"Embry," I whispered and I opened my eyes slowly. Sweat trickled into them and I grabbed a handful of sheet to rub away the sting. I glanced at the clock and saw it was barely six. I rolled over with a groan and buried my face in the pillow, then pushed myself up again with a sigh and sat on the edge of the bed. Wiping my palms on the already damp sheet, I reached out to grab my cellphone from the bed table. The only number I had saved in it was my own with Embry's name against it. Fuck, it was way too early to call him. I'd sound pathetic and desperate; which I guess I was.

The cell rang and vibrated in my hand suddenly and I almost dropped it in shock. It was several long seconds before I could press the button and hold it to my ear.

"Hey," I said, sounding somewhat strangled.

"Paul, are you ok?" Embry's voice said softly.

"Yeah. Uh...no. How'd you know?"

"I don't know, I guess I felt something of what you feel. It was like a punch in the guts."

"Multiply that by about a hundred," I gasped. "Shit. I don't know how I did this for a year. That sounds fucking selfish after I put you through hell for what, five years."

"No, it doesn't."

"You think it'll ever get better?" I groaned, forgetting everything Sam had told me. I couldn't imagine it getting any better, even after I had experienced periods of time the day before where I hadn't thought about her at all or felt anything when I was with him. "Can I see you?" I blurted before he had chance to answer me.

"Sure, I'll come over."

"No, I'll meet you," I said at once. "I can do without dealing with my Dad's questions just yet."

"Where?" Embry asked.

"The beach."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," he said and ended the call without wasting time saying anything else.

I found myself staring at the phone in my hand before I pulled myself together and grabbed a pair of cut-offs, then dropped them again and put on a pair of jersey shorts first. I would take a swim to get the sweat off of me rather than hang around showering and waking Dad up.

Five minutes later I was jogging down the path onto the sand. The grey of dawn was gradually lightening and I glanced up and down the beach, but so far there was no sign of Embry. I dropped the cut-offs again and ran into the waves, plunging in head first as soon as the water reached mid-thigh. I swam vigorously, arms windmilling for perhaps a minute, then turned and swam back towards the beach. I could see Embry now, strolling towards where I left my cut-offs. My feet hit the sand and I straightened up and waded out of the shallows, the excessive heat of my body cooled slightly by the water and feeling clean and refreshed. The painful emptiness was still there, but with it a feeling of relief at the sight of Embry waiting for me. His eyes widened as they slid from my face down over my chest and for a second I felt stupidly self-conscious. I was well aware that the jersey shorts I wore looked like a second skin and probably hid nothing at all when they were soaking wet. I forced myself not to glance down and smirked instead.

"Beats showering," I said.

"Are you ok?" Embry's brow wrinkled. "You sounded like hell on the phone."

"I know. Damnit," I muttered. I didn't feel like hell now. I kind of did, but it was fading. It was almost like the feeling you had over an Imprint, aching when you were apart from them and immediately feeling better when you were in their presence. Only I was Embry's Imprint and his presence helped drive away the pain I felt over the loss of my own.

"Paul?"

I realised I was looking right through him and I focused and met his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm ok." I stooped and grabbed the cut-offs, pulling them on quickly. "Thanks."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, you did, you called me when I was going out of my mind and turned up in minutes. So thanks."

"You don't have to thank me," Embry said softly. "You're my Imprint, remember? I'm supposed to do anything I can to make you happy. I know happy's not really an appropriate word right now, but if I make it better, then..."

"You do," I told him at once. I suddenly had an almost overpowering urge to grab him and hold onto him like I had the day before. "I need you," I heard myself say.

It was Embry who closed the gap between us. He stepped forward slowly and his hands came to rest on my shoulders, his body resting lightly against mine, his t-shirt immediately beginning to soak up the droplets of water on my chest. I slid my arms around him and pressed my face into his hair, breathing in the scent of him. He folded both arms around my neck and his lips brushed against my ear lobe. I began to imagine myself kissing him, pulling him down into the sand with me and as I thought this, his mouth touched my neck a little below by ear, a gentle kiss, tasting the salt on my skin and making me shiver with the beginnings of arousal. I stayed there for one more moment, my eyes closed, feeling myself stiffening in the clingy wet shorts, guessing Embry would feel it too, but then I reluctantly pushed him away from me a few inches. My head was so fucked up; it would have been so easy to pounce on him, but I didn't want to just use him and maybe regret it later. Maybe if I tried to do things the right way we might even have a chance. I touched my lips lightly to his cheek and then stepped away.

"I went over to Sam's after I drove you home last night," I said, wanting to get away from dwelling on the way I was feeling. "Half the pack were over there. You know, you were right about Seth, it'd be obvious to a blind man. Jake knows, he thinks Seth doesn't deserve to get stuck with his shit."

"You talked about it?" Embry said in surprise.

"Yeah, well I wanted to clear the air and I guess I couldn't resist taking the piss, you know what I'm like."

Embry grinned. "I bet he really appreciated that."

"Well, if the blushes were anything to go by... Later the pair of them didn't have eyes for anyone else so who knows? Maybe he just needed a kick in the right direction."

"Match-making, Paul? I didn't know you had it in you," Embry smirked.

"My fucked up head's making me soft. Do you want to go and get breakfast somewhere? Well, the diner, I guess." There was only one place to get breakfast on the Reservation.

"Um...they might prefer you to wear a shirt...and shoes," said Embry. "We can go to my place if you want, Mom should be leaving for work about now. She was already in the shower when I left."

"Sure, ok," I agreed at once. It seemed like a good idea to stay with him as long as I could before I needed to go home and get ready for work myself.

Embry made a stack of bacon and cheese toasties accompanied by beans, mushrooms and large mugs of coffee. He was still eating as if there was no tomorrow and I watched in amusement as he polished off twice the amount that I ate and my appetite couldn't be described as small enough to be normal. Between us we managed to consume an entire loaf of bread, a pound of cheese, two pounds of bacon and a whole carton of mushrooms. After the food I left reluctantly, promising to catch up with him in the evening. I felt a whole lot better as I jogged home and was already looking forward to seeing Embry again later.

I told Dad I had been for a swim, which was true and quickly showered and dressed. We drove into Forks together in the truck and the guys who had been working for Dad before I left welcomed me back with their usual piss-taking. I fit right back in as if I'd never been away.

In the short lunch break I called my employers in New York and explained I had needed to leave urgently and wouldn't be going back. My boss, being an acquaintance of Dad's, was pretty easy going and said any time I needed work over there in the future he would have me back and he wished me luck. With the decision made that I was staying, I knew I would have to go back there to collect my things and hand the keys to the apartment back to the agents. Dad agreed for me to take Friday off so I could get it out of the way quickly and when I met Embry in the La Push diner after work, I told him my plan at once.

"I'm going to New York on Friday. Well, Thursday night, probably."

"You're going back? Already?" His face paled and his eyes widened and filled with hurt.

"Only to get my stuff, Embry, I'm not staying," I said at once. "I still have the keys to the apartment too, I need to see the agent and hand them back."

"Oh. Of course." He dropped his eyes away from mine and stared at his empty plate.

"Hey." I slid my hand across the table to where his rested and entwined our fingers without a second thought. I didn't give a shit who was looking. "Why don't you go with me?"

He looked up again quickly. "You seriously want me to go?"

"Yeah, otherwise what am I going to do when I wake up there feeling like hell and it's still 3am here and I can't call you?" I grinned at him.

"Well, I...um..." He flushed now. "I'm not working right now."

"So you won't need to ask for a day off then," I smirked. "I'll get your ticket, don't worry about that."

"Are you sure?"

"Em, it's just a few hundred dollars, it's nothing. I didn't spend anything the last year except on rent and food."

"Ok. Thank you," he said softly.

"Don't thank me, you're the one having to watch out for a pathetic lost wolf." I glanced down at the table top where our hands rested, the fingers still laced together like a pair of lovers. I hoped he could be that to me one day when the link to Rachel finally let me go.

We flew to New York from Seattle on Thursday evening, arriving at six in the morning local time. We took a cab straight to the apartment, deciding to crash there for a couple hours and then pack up my things and visit the agent. Even on the way up the stairs to my floor, I knew something was wrong. Call it a hunch, but something made me launch myself up the last flight of stairs two at a time, cursing under my breath.

"Paul, what's...?"

Embry didn't finish his sentence as he caught me up in front of my door. It was standing ajar, the lock smashed and I could smell the intruder as strongly as if he were still there, although I knew that he was long gone.

"Fuck," I hissed out. I pushed the door open gently with the tips of my fingers, hardly daring to look inside, going over my belongings in my head and I stepped over the threshold.

A cheap little television and DVD player which I wasn't going to bring home anyway, a bunch of CDs and a portable hi-fi, clothes, kitchen items, nothing that really mattered. I knew there was something important though; I didn't just spend a year with a whole load of nothing.

"My laptop," I muttered and began searching, throwing things left and right. I knew it would be gone. What thief worth his salt would break into an apartment and ignore the one item worth anything? "Fuck, it has to be here," I gasped desperately, dragging off the sofa cushions and throwing them across the room. My temperature was rising in panic and rage and I could feel myself beginning to shake, something that hadn't happened in a year.

"Paul, it's just a computer, you can replace..."

"It's not just a fucking computer!" I screamed at Embry. "My life is on that thing! The only part of it that mattered anyway! Every photograph I ever took of Rachel...!" I was losing it. The heat inside me began to roll up through my chest and I desperately tried to push it back down. The room was too small, Embry was too close.

"Paul, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I..." He came towards me, seemingly oblivious to the state I was in.

"_Get the fuck away from me!" _I snarled thrusting both hands out in horror. My palms collided with his chest and his feet left the ground, his body flying back through the air and crashing into the wall behind him. He lay there, stunned and panting, his eyes filling with tears and I turned away, scrunching my eyes shut and silently begging my wolf to subside. I was shaking violently and I knew if I opened my eyes and looked at myself I would look like a blur, even to myself. I gripped the kitchen counter fiercely, feeling the hardwood splintering in my hands and suddenly the furious wolf inside me subsided. I had never been good at keeping control, always the first to phase at the slightest little upset and I felt surprise as he slipped away from me, leaving me trembling and weak. My knees buckled and I sank to the floor and crouched there, panting and cursing.

The first thing I thought of when I collected myself was Embry. Had I hurt him? He hadn't moved or spoken and I was mortified. I hauled myself to my feet and turned around, seeing him still sitting there on the floor, his back against the wall, his eyes wide and not scared exactly, but worried.

"Embry?"

He blinked slowly and met my eyes.

"Embry, are you ok?" I took the few short steps across the room to him and dropped down to my haunches.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Jesus. Stop being fucking sorry," I groaned. "Did I hurt you? I thought I was going to phase, I could have killed you if I didn't get you away from me."

"I'm ok."

I backed up and got to my feet slowly, then grasped his hand and pulled him up. The plasterwork was cracked where his body had hit the wall and I cringed and pulled him closer to me.

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"I think you hurt the wall more than me." He gave me a weak smile. "I'm fine, really, I'm sorry about your...photos."

I ground my teeth together and squashed down the pain which rose up in me again immediately.

"Maybe it's better this way," I said doubtfully. "I need to move on, not keep on reminding myself. Don't give up on me, ok? I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to avoid me after this."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." His smile reached his eyes this time.

"Thanks. Let's get my stuff packed and get out of here. I'm going to have to report this to the police before we take the keys back to the agents."

We busied ourselves packing all of my clothes and other items into the large suitcase I had there from when I first moved out to New York. It didn't take long and I swallowed the fury still bubbling in my chest at whoever had ransacked what had been my home and taken the one thing that mattered to me. I couldn't let myself think about what I would have done to them if I'd been here to catch them. I had already hurt Embry and he was still in the firing line if I lost control of myself again.

Within an hour we were at the nearest police station reporting what happened and an hour after that in the agents' office, handing over the keys and giving the police officer's details.

"Keep the bond, I really don't care," I said, also passing them my address in La Push and phone number. "If you want any more money, contact me, ok?"

By the time everything was done it was almost lunch time and I realised that in light of what had happened, we had missed breakfast. Still lugging the damned suitcase with us, we found a pizzeria and ordered two fifteen inch loaded pizzas and a side order of cheese-topped garlic bread, Embry eating more than half of the meal. I still felt terrible for what had happened and I hardly knew what to say to him. Knowing I could have killed him if I hadn't been able to stop myself phasing, or even if he had just hit the wall with his head after I threw him across the room, overshadowed any pain I had felt over the loss of the photographs and I avoided his eyes throughout the meal. When we found a motel later for the one night before we could fly home, I paid for two rooms rather than the one I had originally planned. I hadn't meant to sleep with him, but I would have liked having him across the room. Now, however, I couldn't wait to separate myself from him at least for a few hours. It wasn't that I worried I might hurt him again, only that I was ashamed and more so because he wasn't blaming me at all.

The rest of the day dragged by. I sprawled on the uncomfortable lumpy motel bed watching shit on the television, my eyes constantly switching to the wall on the left which I knew Embry was the other side of. It was only exhaustion that eventually put me to sleep in the evening and I didn't wake again until the early hours of the morning when once again I found myself soaked in sweat, panting and in agony. The television was still on, lighting the room which was otherwise dark from the night outside the window. I sat up slowly, put the light on and the television off, then grabbed my cellphone. Two-thirty and I had a text from Embry. He had sent it at seven.

'Do you want dinner? I'll fetch something if you like, x.'

"Shit," I muttered.

I pulled my shorts off, went to take a shower and found a clean pair of underwear, then without bothering to dress properly I let myself out of the room, walked the few yards down the corridor to Embry's door and knocked. He opened it in seconds as if he had been awake waiting to hear from me.

"Paul, are you ok? Come in," he said at once, standing back. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, his hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Thanks." I pushed the door closed after me and leaned on it. "I'm sorry, I've been a real jerk today," I said.

"It's ok."

"It's not ok, Embry, I could have really hurt you and then I fucking avoided you because I didn't know what to say."

Suddenly I wanted to be with him so much I couldn't think about anything else. If only it were that simple. I went over to the rumpled bed he had vacated and lay down, waiting for him to join me. He hesitated for a minute and then slowly lowered himself onto the mattress and lay facing me, his eyes shining in the dim light. I could almost hear the seconds ticking by as I stared back at him. My pulse quickened and I could feel my heart slamming against my ribs, so loud that I would have bet anything Embry could hear it too. I raised my hand slowly and touched his face, stroking my thumb over the smooth skin of his cheek. He lowered his eyes and turned his head fractionally, his lips brushing my palm.

I moved my hand to his neck and leaned forward slowly, knowing I was going to kiss him and realising that I had never been so nervous about kissing anyone in my life. Stupid really; it wasn't like he was going to push me away. Our lips touched, light as a feather and his parted on a breath. I kissed him again, my lips caressing his for a long moment, but not deepening it. Curiously the chasteness of it had the blood rushing to my groin and I stiffened rapidly, grinning suddenly against his mouth. I didn't intend to do anything about it, not yet anyway, not until I knew I was doing it for the right reasons, but in the meantime just being with him was helping me.

I slid my arms around him and rolled onto my back, pulling him close against my side and closing my eyes. His hand came to rest over my heart and his warm breath caressed my ear as I relaxed and began to drift back into sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

When I woke some hours later it wasn't to find myself aching and sweating as I usually did. The first thing I became aware of before I even opened my eyes was the scent of Embry on the pillow next to me. I opened one eye slowly and found that I was alone, but when I touched the sheet I felt his warmth so it was obvious he had only just left the bed. I guessed he must have gone to the bathroom and I rolled over onto my back, stretching and then tucked my hands behind my head and waited for him.

All was silent until suddenly I heard a muffled sob and I shot upright in shock. Oh God, he was crying and I would have bet anything it was down to me. I felt like the world's biggest piece of shit and I slid out of the bed quickly and walked to the bathroom. The door was almost closed, but not quite and I pushed it wider.

"Embry?"

He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his face red and wet with tears and now he grabbed a towel that he had apparently left there earlier and scrubbed it over his face, sniffing.

"Sorry," he said shakily.

"Don't be silly. What's wrong?" I dropped to my knees on the mat in front of him and reached up to put my hands on his arms. "Is this because of me?"

"No, I'm just being a jerk."

"Em, you're hiding in here crying your eyes out, tell me the truth," I pressed, my stomach knotting with worry.

"You have enough to think about."

"I'm thinking about you. You've done so much to help me; let me help you."

"I don't know if I am helping," Embry said almost in a whisper. "You know the Imprint makes me do anything I can for you, but it's not just that. I love you; I always have and it kills me to see you hurting and it makes me feel like shit that I can't make it any better. And I..." He stopped there and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Go on," I said softly.

"You don't need this."

"Tell me," I insisted.

"I want to be with you so much and I guess I think it'll never happen. Even when you can move on from Rachel." Fresh tears spilled down his cheeks and he pulled his hands away from mine and covered his face.

Pain filled me and for the first time in a year it wasn't for my own loss; it was for Embry who felt so much for me and was getting absolutely nothing from me except a load of shit that he just took and loved me for in return and he been going through it for years. I pulled him forwards so that he slid off the edge of the bath to the floor and into my arms.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so wrapped up in my own shit, half the time I don't even think about you. You are making things better; you're making me feel like I can move on. I will get there and it will be you I turn to when I'm over it. Em, look at me." I cupped his chin and tipped his head back until he reluctantly met my eyes. "I need you and I want you, I just didn't want to say too much and fuck with your head while I'm still a mess."

"You mean that," he murmured. It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yeah." I brushed my lips against his cheek, tasting salt, then another light kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips parted and curved up just a little at the corners. I drew away slowly, got to my feet and pulled him up, then led him back into the bedroom.

We lay down together and I slid my arms around Embry, pulling him close against me, one hand stroking his silky hair. He nestled against me, one hand on my chest, his breath warm on my throat and I closed my eyes, intending only to rest for a few minutes, but when I opened them again it was hours later and the motel manager was banging on the door asking us to leave.

"Oh, shit!" Embry rolled away from me and sat up quickly, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, oh shit," I grimaced, realising I had woken with an enormous erection and all my clothes were in the other room. Embry glanced at me and sniggered, blushing slightly. I grinned and hauled myself to my feet, heading for the bathroom.

A few minutes splashing cold water onto my face and upper body made the damned thing subside and I used the toilet and quickly headed back to my own room to gather my things together. We met outside five minutes later, checked out and called a cab to take us to the airport. We still had three hours before the flight back to Seattle, but decided to get there first and then find somewhere to eat.

As we sat in one of the airport diners, munching our way through several sub rolls stuffed with a variety of fillings, I thought about Rachel and realised with a touch of guilt that it was the first time I had thought of her since I woke that morning. I grimaced and put down the remains of the sandwich I was eating, grabbing the large coke I had ordered instead to wash down the mouthful of food before I choked on it.

"Are you ok?" Embry asked immediately.

"Yeah." I reached across the table and took hold of his hand. Focus on him, I told myself. He's your future. I smiled at him. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

The flight home was uneventful and when we returned to La Push we parted reluctantly and went home, me with the intention of telling my Dad exactly what was going on when he returned from work, which would be any time now. I knew he wasn't going to like what I had to tell him, but I had decided it was part of me moving on and if he couldn't accept it, I guessed I could find somewhere else to live - and another job.

"Alright, son. Get everything sorted?" he asked when he walked in the door and found me in the kitchen halfway down my third beer.

"Yeah. The apartment got broken into, so there wasn't much to bring back except my clothes."

"Shit, sorry about that."

"Yeah, well, it's done. It was ok; Embry went with me."

"Oh, did he?" Dad's brows drew together in a frown. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I'm telling you now, aren't I?" I said. "I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him from now on."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Dad said at once. "I know you felt obliged to come back and help him after his accident, but you can't help that he Imprinted on you. You have your own shit to deal with."

"Embry's helping me," I said. "His Imprint is helping me."

"The boy's a fag!" Dad exclaimed. "You can't tell me it's normal for a guy to Imprint on another guy. You rejected it anyway."

I cringed and scowled. "Yeah, five years ago. A lot happened since then."

"You can't possibly be thinking of changing your mind," said Dad. "Is there something wrong with you?"

"You mean am I a fag too? Yeah, I guess I must be," I told him. "If I hadn't Imprinted on Rachel, I probably would have been with Embry the last few years. I was going to see him the morning it happened."

"That's ridiculous!" Dad growled. "You don't know what you're saying! Losing Rachel screwed your head up."

"Yeah, it did," I said. "But not so much that I don't know what I want. I'm going to be with Embry whether you like it or not, so I'm sorry, but either you're going to have to get used to it, or I'll find another place to live and work."

"Jesus, Paul," groaned Dad. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. I'm not a kid any more, Dad, I make my own choices and Embry's the choice I'm making. Right now he's just helping me move on, but it'll be more than that eventually. Soon," I corrected.

"Look, you know what I think about...guys being together," he said with a grimace, but restrained himself from saying 'fag' again or anything else derogatory I noticed, which was a good thing as far as Dad went. "But I'm not going to turn my back on my own son."

My eyebrows rose a touch. I had thought it would be much harder work to get him to even listen to me.

"You got a home and a job as long as you want it, like I said before. I just don't want to see him around here for a while, I don't want it shoving in my face before I get used to the idea," he went on.

"Thanks," I said, even more surprised.

"What's his mother think about this?" Dad asked then.

"She doesn't know yet. She never liked me much though."

Dad snorted suddenly. "Tiffany Call was never very keen on me either."

I grinned. "I think the phrase 'like father like son' has been applied to us a couple of times."

"She might not be using that again any time soon," Dad said wrily, but there wasn't any malice in his words. It actually seemed like he would eventually accept me being with Embry.

Over the next couple of weeks I saw as much of Embry as we had time for. One of us would call the other first thing in the morning and talk on the phone for a while and the minute we finished work we would meet up for the evening, either on the beach or at Sam's. Embry was working again now - the guy who had been working in Jacob's garage with him had quit and Embry had been only too glad to accept the job when it was offered to him.

About half of the time I woke up in pain, gasping as if the air had been sucked out of me along with my heart, but the other half I had begun waking peacefully, my first thought being of Embry. Those days seemed to be getting more and more frequent and I realised my Imprint on Rachel was finally breaking. I was moving on without really being aware of it and it filled me with hope that my suffering was nearing an end.

Another week and I did what I had wanted to be able to do since we got back from New York and what I knew Embry had been wanting me to do for five years. I had gone over to Jacob's place to meet him as he finished work and found Seth hanging around there, a grin a mile wide on his face as he watched Jake put his tools away and clean his hands. They had been getting closer too over the past few weeks and as Embry came to me and we began to walk away, I glanced back briefly just in time to see Jake drop his arm around Seth's shoulders and give him a light kiss.

"Something happening there?" I asked Embry.

"Yeah, neither of them is saying anything, but I get the feeling something happened last night. Seth came over this morning for a little while, all shy and blushing and they disappeared into the office for about ten minutes. Just in the last couple of days Jake seems to have shaken everything off."

"Guess I have too," I said with a grin, grabbing his hand. We held hands a lot and I often kissed him, but even though it made me hard and had me imagining tearing his clothes off and fucking him, I hadn't done anything about it. I didn't want there to be any chance of Rachel jumping into my mind and wrecking things and now it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. I thought of her briefly now and it was the first time in two days, but I wasn't feeling the pain of the loss of an Imprint, only a fleeting sadness that she had been killed and that our life together had been cut short.

"Em, I want to ask you something," I said.

"Ok."

He glanced at me as we headed towards my house. Dad had said the day before that I could bring Embry over if I wanted, so long as he didn't have to see us 'doing anything'. I knew he meant even a peck on the cheek would be too much for him to handle, but the fact that he was willing to accept that my life was with Embry was a huge step forward for Dad. Now I was ready to actually do something about beginning our future and I felt stupidly nervous. It wasn't as if Embry was going to say no, but I felt like I was about to do something momentous, which I suppose it was given what had happened.

"I want to take you out tomorrow night," I said, peeking at him from the corner of my eye. His eyes widened a touch.

"On a date?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I'm ready to go forward." I stopped walking and pulled him towards me. "So?" His eyes met mine, his eyebrows raised slightly and I smirked. "You're supposed to say yes or no."

"Do you really think I'd say no?" he grinned.

"Well, you might."

"Not a chance. Where are we going?"

"Dinner first. There's a new Mexican restaurant in town. Maybe a movie."

"I love Mexican," Embry smiled.

"Yeah, I know." I slid my arms around his waist, linking my fingers together behind him. I was excited. For the first time in a very long time I was going on a date and I was excited about it. I gave him a light kiss, then another. His lips parted and I thrust my tongue in, tasting him, holding him harder against me, my pants immediately beginning to grow tight. He melted in my arms, his hands gripping the back of my neck, his own arousal becoming obvious as it nudged mine. I dimly heard the sound of an engine drawing close and broke the kiss reluctantly, pressing my face into Embry's neck instead.

"Jeez, guys, get a room!"

We both looked up at the truck nearby, Embry flushing. Jake was hanging out of the window, Seth leaning across him from the passenger seat, his customary cheeky grin fixed to his face.

"Fuck off," I smirked.

"Embry, I don't know how you put up with this jerk," Jake grinned.

"Imprint," said Embry smugly, stepping away from me slightly. I let him go and shoved my hands into my pockets in an attempt to disguise my excitement.

Jake and Seth drove off and we walked the rest of the way to my place. Dad was busy in the kitchen with some paperwork and Embry and I grabbed some food and spent the evening in the lounge watching television. It was all I could do not to keep grabbing him and kissing him, but I didn't want to piss Dad off if he came into the room. Embry stayed until ten and I went to bed right after. It had been too long and suddenly I couldn't wait to get my hands on myself. I jacked off vigorously, my eyes closed, biting my lip to try to stay quiet, imagining it was Embry's hand on me as he sat beside me, his other hand playing with his own cock. I came hard and fast all over my stomach and chest and grabbed my discarded shorts to wipe up the mess, panting and grinning. I couldn't wait for tomorrow night.

It was a long day at work on Saturday. Dad knew I was taking Embry on a date, but it didn't seem to bother him. By then he'd had almost three weeks to get used to the idea that it would happen at some stage and had only said that he didn't want me getting up to anything in the house while he was in it too.

"Huh, that's not going to happen!" I had snorted in embarrassment. Have sex with a guy with my Dad in the next room? Not a chance. But I was already watching out for a suitable place of my own to rent and the minute something became available, I intended to move out. Miserable as I had been in New York, I had got used to having my own place and longed for it again.

We finished work at three on Saturdays and were home by three-thirty. I showered and put on black jeans and a white shirt, leaving several buttons unfastened and rolling the sleeves up to the elbows. My heart was skipping and my stomach full of butterflies by the time I set off in the truck to pick up Embry, which was insane because I'd spent every available minute with him over the last few weeks, only now it was a date it was different. I didn't want to fuck things up and I realised that my main priority wasn't that I should have fun or that I should have him get me off later or anything that involved me at all; all I wanted to do was make him happy.

Embry came out of the house the minute I pulled up. His mother still didn't accept him spending so much time with me and was convinced I would only use him and hurt him. He hadn't told her we actually had a date that night, but as we drove into Forks he told me that she guessed anyway when he put on his best black shirt with his newest jeans and spent far longer in the bathroom than usual 'primping' himself.

I had booked a table for seven o'clock, assuming that a new restaurant would be packed on a Saturday night and it was lucky I had. All the tables were occupied except for one large one in the middle with a 'reserved' sign on it and a small one in a booth near the rear which was for us. Our waiter brought us a dish of free nachos and some margaritas along with the menus and we made short work of the snack while deciding what to eat. As usual we both had enormous appetites and chose a selection of starters including chilli poppers, crab cakes, chicken wings and another dish of nachos topped with spicy chicken, guacamole, salsa, sour cream and cheese. We both picked steak fajitas for the main and then spent the next hour eating and talking and ordering refills of the margaritas although I stopped at two and switched to beer. I still had to drive back to La Push. We finished the meal with cinnamon tortilla baskets filled with assorted icecream and after I paid for the meal I suggested going to see a movie.

'Colombiana' was the choice, a thriller about a girl whose parents were murdered, leading to her becoming an assassin hunting down the bad guys when she grew up. It wasn't a bad movie, although by the time it was halfway through, I found I was looking at Embry more than the screen. We were in the back row with no one else nearby and I slid my arm around him, leaning closer to kiss him the minute he turned his head towards me. We kissed until we were breathless, forgetting about the rest of the movie and suddenly I was eager for it to end so that we could get back to the truck and find somewhere to park. By the time we left the theatre, my cock was attempting to tear its way out of my pants and a glance at Embry with his hands in his pockets, obviously covering up the fact that he was in the same state, only turned me on more.

We drove out of Forks and headed back to La Push, turning off to join the cliff road a little way from the outskirts of the Reservation. I parked up off the road under the shelter of some trees and when I cut the engine and turned off the lights, Embry scooted along the seat into my arms in a second. Our lips met and the kiss was immediately heated, our tongues caressing each other, mouths urgently devouring, soft moans issuing from Embry's throat as I ran my hands down his back, then slid them around to his chest and began to unfasten his shirt. With the last button undone I pushed the garment off his shoulders, then paused to drag off my own shirt, wanting to feel his skin against mine. My heart was slamming against my ribs in excitement and when I touched his chest, I felt the rapid pounding of his under the pecs which had rapidly filled out again over the past few weeks.

"God, I want you so much," I groaned, lowering my hands to unfasten his jeans.

"Wait." I was surprised when he pushed my hands away and I looked up at his face. Was I rushing things too much?

"Don't you want this?"

He grinned. "Yes, I just have my own ideas of what happens." His hands slid down over my stomach to the front of my jeans and he popped open the top button, then the next one and the next. His knuckles brushed my erection as it strained against the front of my shorts and I sucked my breath in hard. I knew I would be lucky to last a couple of minutes when he began to touch me. My balls ached and I was already leaking precum. I leaned back against the door of the truck as Embry pushed the front of my shorts down and wrapped his hand around my shaft. His thumb rubbed over the slit and he squeezed lightly, then suddenly he bent forward and took me into his mouth.

"Oh, fuck," I hissed. "Em..."

"Mmm?" he mumbled, dipping his head lower, his lips drawing me in further, tongue circling. My response was nothing more than a groan. It was something I had never managed to experience so far. Rachel had an aversion to putting parts of the body into her mouth and my other two brief encounters with Embry and Jacob hadn't involved anything more than a quick screw. I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed, knowing that I wasn't even going to make the couple of minutes I estimated it would take for him to get me off with his hand.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I attempted to push Embry off me in the last few seconds before I came. I knew full well he hadn't done this before either and wasn't so sure he would want to get a mouthful, but he lifted one hand without looking up, pushed my hand away and sucked harder, his tongue massaging the head of my cock, increasing the speed of his hand pumping me until I couldn't control myself any longer.

_"Fuck!"_ I cried out, my whole body shuddering, one hand gripping the steering wheel and the other on the back of the seat. Embry's mouth drew every last drop out of me and continued teasing me until I grew so sensitive that I couldn't stand it any longer. "Stop, please!" I begged, my voice sounding suspiciously like a whine.

Embry raised his head and let me slip from his mouth with an audible 'pop', then slowly sat up, smiling and blushing.

"Jesus Christ," I gasped, pulling him towards me. "That was amazing."

Embry's grin widened and he licked his lips. "You know how long I've wanted to do that?"

I shook my head.

"Since you fucked me."

My cock, which had begun to soften, twitched at his words. I wanted him so badly right then, but there was no way I was going to do it in the truck, especially with no lube. I hadn't done anything to make him enjoy it the last time and in fact had hurt him; it would be very different when we did get to it I silently promised. Now I pulled him against me and our lips touched. I wasn't so sure I wanted to taste myself, but I couldn't restrain myself from plunging my tongue into his mouth in another hot and wet kiss and somehow the slightly sour and salty taste of me only aroused me more.

Embry moaned into my mouth as we kissed and I began to feel guilty that so far I hadn't even touched him. I pushed him away from me and laid him down on the seat in front of me. I stroked a hand over his chest and stomach, then quickly began to unfasten his jeans. The head of his cock had squeezed out of the waistband of his shorts and when I ran my thumb lightly over it, it quivered in anticipation. I hesitated for a moment, then gripped both jeans and shorts and began to pull them down. He lifted his butt up slightly and I slid the garments out from under him and down his legs, pausing to remove his shoes and then taking the clothes off altogether, leaving him naked. His hand drifted to his erection and began to rub it slowly and I watched, my balls aching again as he touched himself.

"Hey, stop that, it's my turn," I said with a grin, pushing his hand off. He whimpered in frustration and stared up at me in the dim light.

"God, I want you, please..." he whispered.

I kicked my boots off and wriggled out of the rest of my clothes quickly, then lowered myself onto him. He drew one knee up against the seat back and stretched the other leg out, resting his foot on the dash so that his legs were wide enough apart for me to lie between them. I rested one arm on the seat beside his head, keeping my weight off him just enough so that I could get my other hand between us, grasping both his cock and mine together and rubbing them against each other. His arms slid around me, his hands on my butt and he thrust himself up against me making me wish we were anywhere else but in the truck. I ached to be inside him; even after five years I could remember the feel of his tight heat around me, squeezing even tighter as he came.

Despite already having got off only minutes before, I came again just as Embry did, feeling the warm wetness from us both in my hand and on my stomach. Embry's head rolled back on the seat, his eyes closed, panting and groaning. My arm was shaking with the effort of holding myself up and I let myself slump down slowly, resting my full weight on him and brushed my lips against his. I was falling for him. Finally he was all I was thinking about and my heart was pounding, not only from orgasm, but from the realisation that I was beginning to feel the same way he did for me.

I sat up reluctantly and grabbed my shorts to wipe myself clean, then turned my attention to Embry as he still lay there breathless. He grinned and giggled as I cleaned him up and tossed the shorts onto the floor, reminding myself to remove them when I got home before Dad wanted the truck again. We dressed again slowly and I started the truck to drive home, Once on the road, I reached out to pull Embry against my side, cuddling him and driving one-handed. I felt happy - really happy - for the first time in a very long time and I didn't want to let go of him until I absolutely had to.

Fifteen minutes later I left Embry at his mother's house and drove home, wishing I could have spent the night with him. It had been a perfect date - one that should have happened a long time ago - and spending the night in each other's arms would have been the best way to end it. I needed to get my own place to live, I decided, otherwise we were going to have to rely on one of our parents being out, fumbling in the truck or going somewhere to find a hotel, none of which were ideal.

I parked up at the house, bunched up my shorts and jammed them into my pocket before I went in. Dad was still up watching a football game on the television.

"Good night?" he grunted, looking like he didn't really want an answer.

"Yeah," I said. "Going to bed."

"'Night."

I grinned to myself as I headed to my room. Dad was no doubt thinking about anything else other than what I might have been getting up to for the last few hours.

I woke early on Sunday and the first thing I thought of was Embry. I pictured him on his back on the seat in the truck, his hand on his cock, his eyes dark with lust as he looked up at me and I was instantly hard as my thoughts continued to him sucking me, me touching us both.

"God," I groaned, wishing he was with me. I slid my hand down to stroke myself and picked up my cell phone, wondering if he was awake.

'Hey,' I tapped out. 'Want to know what I'm doing?'

He was awake. I got an answer in less than a minute. 'Same as me? Wish it was your hand.'

I called him and he answered on the first ring.

"Paul."

His voice was deep and throaty and my cock pulsed in my hand.

"I am dying to fuck you," I said as quietly as I could manage. I finished on a groan as I rubbed myself harder. I could hear Embry panting as he did the same and I closed my eyes, imagining it was me making him sound like that.

"I want your cock inside me," he moaned. "I want you to come in me."

"God, Em," I hissed. "I can't wait. I'm so close." My voice shook as my hand moved faster and I stopped talking, biting my lip as I listened to him, hearing the exact moment that he came, my own orgasm ripping through me at the same time. It was a couple of minutes before I could breathe enough to speak again.

"Spend the day with me?" I said.

"Ok," he said at once, still breathless. "Do you want to meet me somewhere?"

"Come down to the beach," I told him. "I'll be there in an hour."

"See you soon. I love you."

The line went dead before I could even think about saying anything and I grinned at the phone. He hung up on purpose so I didn't have to answer.

I got up and took a shower, put on underwear, cut-offs and sneakers and headed to the kitchen for food. Dad wasn't yet up and I helped myself to a mountain of grilled cheese and some coffee, then stuffed an assortment of snacks and bottles of beer into a bag, grabbed a blanket and headed for the door. At the last moment I paused, dived back into my room and pocketed a small tube of lube and a condom, smirking to myself. Just in case, I thought. I didn't want another episode where we couldn't do what we really wanted. Even if we didn't manage to get that far, I had read about something else I wanted to try which I knew would drive Embry crazy.

I made my way to the north end of the beach where there were large outcrops of rocks and spread the blanket out on the sand far enough from the tideline so that we wouldn't have to move later, and close enough to shade to keep the food and beer out of the sun. Unusually there wasn't a cloud in the sky and I sat down and pulled out my phone to text Embry, letting him know where to find me.

Fifteen minutes later Embry appeared at a run, dressed in cut-offs and a t-shirt, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He kicked his shoes off and dropped onto the blanket beside me.

"You're overdressed," I grinned, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it up. He raised his arms to allow me to remove it and I dropped it onto the sand nearby, pulling him closer to me and greeting him with a hungry kiss. He slid his arms around my neck and in a moment we were lying on the blanket, our bodies moulded to each other, both of us quickly becoming hard.

Embry removed one hand from my neck and slid it down my back instead, tucking his fingers into the back of my pants, then moving it around to my hip. His hand came to rest over my pocket and I grinned against his mouth as he reached inside to see what I had in there.

"It's lube," I whispered. "Never know when we might need it."

His response was a moan and his hand returned to my back as he gyrated slowly against me, his cock nudging mine through our clothes.

"God, don't," I sighed, gently pushing him away. "We're going to have to wait until tonight when it's dark."

"Fuck," he muttered.

I grinned and touched his face. "I can't wait either."

"Hey! Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it?"

We rolled away from each other and sat up at the sound of Jared's voice. He was with Quil and Seth. Seth grinned and blushed and sat down on the sand a few feet away. I glanced at Embry with a sigh. We were just going to have to keep away from each other for the next few hours - more than twelve hours until it was dark, I thought with frustration.

"Where's Jacob?" Embry asked Seth now.

"He's coming in about an hour," replied Seth.

I couldn't help myself, as childish as it was. I snorted loudly and smothered what would have been raucous laughter behind my hand, making poor Seth blush even more vividly.

"Can it, Paul, what's wrong with you?" Quil frowned.

"Fucking horny," I blurted. Embry giggled.

"God, will you shut up?" Jared said, pulling a face as he threw himself down on the sand. "What are we doing today anyway?"

"Just hanging out," I said. "Think I'm going to take a swim." Their arrival had effectively doused my excitement and I dumped my cut-offs and headed towards the water.

"I'll catch you up," Embry called after me and I smirked to myself. I guessed he was still sporting a hard-on.

A little later Sam, Emily, Kim and Claire arrived followed shortly by Jacob. Sam was carrying a huge basket of food and with the things I already brought, there was plenty for everyone. Leah was conspicuously missing, but Seth said she was busy with her man that day. We all spent hours lazing around, swimming and helping Claire make an enormous sandcastle and Embry and I eyed each longingly when we thought no one else was looking. I caught a few yearning looks passing between Jacob and Seth and guessed their relationship was progressing in a similar way.

It was part way through the afternoon when I suddenly found myself alone with Jacob for a few minutes. Most of the guys were in the sea and the girls were entertaining Claire. I plucked the last now warm beer out of the bag and opened it.

"Sorry, it's the last one," I said to Jake.

"No problem." He cleared his throat and glanced at me strangely, changed position a couple of times, scratched his head and chewed off a fingernail while I watched with amusement.

"Spit it out," I urged eventually.

"Uh...I want to talk to you about something," he said.

"Yeah, I caught that. You better get on with it then before the others come back."

"It's kind of embarrassing." He was bright red and I smirked.

"It can't be any more embarrassing than us fucking," I said in the hopes of making the situation better.

"Damnit, Paul," he growled. "Forget it."

"No, I'm sorry, go on." I gulped some beer, forcing myself to be serious.

"It's about me and Seth. I mean...you get what I mean, right?" he said helplessly.

"Hell, Jake, I can't believe you're asking me about sex," I said. "You're twenty-one; can't you figure it out?"

"I haven't done it before," he snapped. "Who else am I going to ask, huh? I don't want to fuck it up."

I sighed heavily, wondering why he didn't just type 'gay sex' into Google the way I had recently. "I'm guessing you're taking the dominant part in this," I said.

"Uh...yeah." He reddened further and I grimaced. He was making me embarrassed, damn him.

"Ok, look, take your time, don't fucking go diving in there right away, fingers fit better to start with and there's no such thing as too much lube," I said quickly. "Now, shut the fuck up about it."

"Sure. Thanks," he muttered, just as Embry appeared, dripping and grinning.

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't want to know." I grabbed his hand and pulled him down beside me. Jacob got up quickly and went to join the others. "He wanted sex advice," I said as soon as he was out of earshot.

Embry's laughter was loud enough to be heard by anyone within half a mile and I gave him a shove as Jake glanced over his shoulder and shot me an evil look.

"God, you're so loud," I grinned. "You better keep it down later when this lot have all fucked off."

"Why, what are you doing to do to me?" he teased, kissing my ear.

"You know what's in my pocket."

"What's in your pocket?" demanded Claire, scampering over at that moment in excitement and hunting for my cut-offs.

"Jesus, she's got good hearing." I grabbed the pants quickly, covering up the left hand pocket and stuffed my hand into the right, pulling out my cellphone. "See? Nothing fun," I grinned.

"Oh." She stuck her bottom lip out and plopped down onto the sand. I heaved a sigh of relief and Embry smirked to himself.

The rest of the day crawled by, but eventually Sam invited everyone back for a barbeque and they began gathering their belongings together.

"Thanks, we'll give it a miss," Embry said.

"Paul, don't tell me you're passing up the opportunity for free food," Emily teased.

"I'm too hot to eat," I said innocently.

"Fair enough. There are some snacks left in this basket if you want them." She unloaded some muffins and potato chips and left them for us before they all headed off the beach, much to our relief.

We laid around talking and eating the leftover food for another couple hours until at last the sun began to slip out of the sky and the last few people further up the beach left. At last Embry and I were alone and soon it would be dark.

"Want to go for one more swim?" I suggested.

"Yeah, ok."

I got up and glanced around me. There was no one in sight and although it was still quite light it was unlikely that anyone would turn up and see us. I took my underwear off and ran into the waves naked, wading in until I was waist deep and then turning towards the beach to wait for Embry. Somehow I had thought he would be too self-conscious to skinny dip, but he was walking towards me naked, a grin on his face. I began to stiffen as I watched him getting closer and my eyes on him apparently began to affect him too. By the time he was knee deep in the water he was half erect and the minute he reached me I drew him into my arms. His cock bumped mine and I held him tight, grinding myself against him.

"God, it's been a long day," he sighed.

"I know. I haven't been able to think about anything else." I brought one hand up to his face, cupping it as I began to kiss him, plunging my tongue eagerly into his mouth. I couldn't remember a time when I had been so aroused, so desperate to have sex and in minutes we abandoned the idea of swimming and headed back towards the blanket. It was in an area of the beach which was usually deserted and it was unlikely anyone would appear this late.

I picked up the blanket to shake the sand off of it and then spread it out again. In a second we were lying in the middle of it, clinging to each other and kissing heatedly. I rolled Embry onto his back and left his mouth to trail my lips and tongue down over his chest, pausing to lick and bite one of his nipples, pinning his hands to the ground either side of him as he made to touch himself. He moaned in protest, squirming beneath me as I paid the other nipple some attention, sucking the small hard nub into my mouth and swirling my tongue around it.

"Paul, please..." Embry groaned, struggling against my grip on his wrists.

"Please, what?" I grinned, glancing up at him.

"Touch me."

"Impatient, aren't you?" I teased. I was impatient myself. I ached to grab for the lube and just go right ahead and fuck him, but this was all about him I told myself. I intended to take my time. I lowered my head again, tracing a line down the centre of his chest to his abs with the tip of my tongue, carefully avoiding touching his cock as it quivered desperately an inch from my nose, already seeping precum.

I shifted further down the blanket, releasing his arms and pushing his thighs apart, knees up. His hand immediately drifted towards his stomach.

"No touching!" I threatened. "Or I won't do..." I bent over him and touched the tip of my tongue to the base of his cock, then stroked it downwards and drew one of his balls into my mouth for a brief moment before letting it go. "...this."

His hand fell back onto the blanket and he hissed out something unintelligible. I positioned myself between his legs, cupping his balls in my hand, gripping the base of his cock with the other and swiping my tongue over the tip.

"Oh, God," he gasped.

I grinned and drew the head into my mouth, sucking firmly for a moment before I released it again and ducked lower.

"Fuck, don't stop!" Embry whined.

"Sshh," I responded. I popped one of his balls back into my mouth, rolling it around gently on my tongue before letting it slide out and replacing it with the other. Embry clenched his fists in the blanket, groaning and thrusting himself upwards. I released him again, tucking one hand under him to angle his hips up slightly and licked the ridge behind his balls, following it back to the tight puckered hole.

"Paul..." he whimpered.

"Mmm?" I wet my fingers with saliva and continued licking him for a moment while he squirmed and moaned, his cock pulsing against his stomach and threatening to erupt without either of us touching it. Then I slowly inserted my index finger into him, raising my head to look at his face as I did so.

"Yes," he hissed. "More!"

I probed deeper, then withdrew, repeating this a few times before I slid the middle finger in alongside the first. He was so tight, I was aching to put my cock in there and I restrained myself from giving it a quick rub with difficulty. I worked my fingers in as far as I could reach, moving them in a slight beckoning motion when I found his prostate, bumping it with each movement. Amusing what you can find out on the internet. Embry let out a sound which was something like a squeal and his hand reached for his erection, despite my telling him not to. I pushed it away again, grasped his shaft myself and returned my mouth to it, sucking as much of it into my mouth and throat as I could manage without gagging. With my fingers inside him and his cock in my mouth, it was less than a minute before he warned me he was about to come, although I had already picked up on that from the tightening of his balls, the pulsing in the base of his cock and the sudden squeezing around my fingers.

If he could do it, so could I. I raised my head however, so that only a couple of inches of him remained in my mouth and moved my hand faster. He filled my mouth in seconds and I swallowed hard until he stopped spurting, then sat up and carefully pulled my fingers out of him.

"Fuck, Paul," he panted, taking his hand away from his face and I realised he had been biting his fingers to keep quiet. "That felt awesome."

"That was my intention." I grinned and reached out to grab my cut-offs, sliding my hand into the pocket which held the lube and condom.

"What are you doing now?" Embry gasped, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his legs trembling slightly.

"I'm going to fuck you," I whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Embry's erection didn't even begin to subside as he watched me open the lube and coat my fingers in it. My own cock was so hard it was painful and all I could think about now was plunging it into him and pounding him into the blanket, although I doubted I would last very long. I was kneeling in front of him, his legs spread out either side of me and he pulled them up again now, his eyes locked onto mine, his lips parted as he breathed fast. I slid my two now lube-slicked fingers into him again, scissoring them carefully, stretching him, still a touch worried I would hurt him in my eagerness.

"Please, Paul, I want you in me," Embry begged softly, pushing himself against my hand.

"You want me to use this?" I picked up the condom with the other hand. He had said on the phone he wanted me to come inside him, but we had been jacking off at the time so I didn't want to just assume that something said in the heat of the moment was serious.

"No, please, I want to feel everything."

I tossed the small packet away, withdrew my fingers and squeezed more lube into my hand, lathering it onto myself and shuddering at the cool slipperyness of it. I lowered myself between his thighs, propping myself up with one elbow as I reached between us to guide myself, pressing my quivering head against his entrance. It slid in past the tight ring of muscle and I stopped moving and hovered there.

"Em, look at me," I whispered. I couldn't get out of my mind how careless I had been that first time and I wanted to see I wasn't hurting him again. He opened his eyes slowly and met mine, the pupils huge and virtually obscuring the irises completely. His slid his arms around me, his hands lowering to my buttocks immediately, squeezing and pulling me down firmly as he thrust himself up. There was no sign of discomfort in his face, only lust. My full length seemed almost to be pulled into his body and I groaned loudly, drawing my hand out from between us. He was so hot, so tight, slippery with lube and squeezing me everywhere and it was all I could do not to erupt right there.

"Fuck," I hissed out through my teeth.

Embry whimpered and squirmed under me, his nails scoring my skin as he raked them up my back again to my shoulders. I pulled back slowly a few inches and slid forward again, picking up a steady rhythm which he met with thrusts of his own, his butt lifting up off the blanket to allow me to bury myself deeper. My eyes remained locked onto his as I repeatedly plunged into his tight heat, my balls contracting and my thighs beginning to shake with the effort of controlling myself. Embry removed one hand from me and slid it between us instead, grasping his cock and starting to pump himself in time with my thrusts into him. His head rolled back on the blanket and his eyes started to close.

"Harder," he panted.

I stretched one arm downwards, hooking my elbow behind his knee and pulling his leg up higher, changing the angle slightly and bracing my knee as I slammed more vigorously into him. I was gasping for breath, sweat breaking out of every pore and trickling down my back as the pressure in my balls and my cock built up further and I began to tip over the edge.

"Oh, God, Paul, _yes!"_ Embry cried out and as I began to spurt into him, his muscles tightened around me and I felt his warm fluid spraying my stomach. I stopped moving, slid my arm out from beneath his leg and lowered myself slowly onto him, my body shivering and my chest heaving as my lungs strained to suck in oxygen. I slid one arm under Embry's shoulders, cradling him against me and pressed my cheek onto his. It felt damp and I turned my head brushing my lips over his cheekbone and tasting salt.

"Em..." I groaned. "Why are you crying?" I shifted my lower body slightly, allowing myself to slowly slip out of him.

"I'm just...being stupid." He slid his arms around my neck and held on tight, kissing my ear. "I wanted this for so long."

"I know." I drew my head back and touched my lips to his, caressing gently for a moment. Suddenly I felt so much, I was overwhelmed by it. I was his Imprint; we were meant to be together. Fate picked me for him and now nothing was standing in the way any more; it was just him and me. I was over what had happened to me and my heart felt as if it were swelling in my chest.

"Will you believe me if I tell you I'm falling for you?" I whispered.

"Yes," he said at once. "I know it's something you would never say if you didn't mean it."

"I'm never going to let you go, Em," I told him, knowing it to be true. He had helped me move on and finally it had happened and I couldn't wait for us to start our future. I pulled away from him quickly and drew him upright, cupping his face in my hands to give him a quick kiss before I got to my feet. "We better get cleaned up."

"Mmm...yeah." He giggled and grimaced, standing up slowly.

I grasped his hand and we walked back to the waves, wading in to waist deep once again. This time we did swim, heading out a few hundred yards with the tide and then ploughing back towards the beach. As we emerged from the water again, I realised suddenly that I was starving hungry. We had only snacked all day and now my stomach protested loudly.

"You want to come back to my place for some food?" I suggested as we put on shorts and cut-offs and Embry rescued his t-shirt from the sand several feet away from the blanket.

"Yeah, if your Dad won't mind."

"He's getting used to you," I grinned, folding up the blanket.

We walked slowly back to the house and to my surprise it was in darkness and the door was locked.

"Maybe he's out on a date," Embry smirked. "I hope you got a key with you."

"No, but there's one under the plant pot." I grabbed the key and let us in, switching on the hallway light. My Dad rarely went anywhere unless he was hanging out with some of his biker friends after work. I headed into the kitchen, switching on more lights and opening up the refrigerator. Leftover pizza as usual, bacon, eggs, bread, cheese and milk. The freezer was full of frozen dinners and some packs of meat.

"I'll get takeout," I said.

"You and your Dad are hopeless at shopping," Embry grinned. "Isn't there anything in the cupboards?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Hopeless," he repeated and began opening doors. "There's plenty of stuff in here for a meal. Don't you ever cook?"

"Of course I cook," I snorted. "I can open a box and throw it in the microwave."

Embry raised his eyebrows.

"What can I say? Dad and me are bachelors and Rachel never taught me a thing, she always cooked." I bit my lip and frowned. Her name had just popped out of my mouth without me even realising it and it didn't even hurt to think about her. She was a good memory, but not an empty space in me any more.

"Paul?" Embry's face was worried and I smiled at him.

"I'm fine," I said. "I can say that and it doesn't bother me any more. You're in my life now." I pulled him towards me and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a warm kiss. "So are we getting takeout or what?"

"No, I'm going to make something," he said.

"Grilled cheese?" I teased.

"Watch and learn." He pushed me away and began to take items out of the cupboards and freezer. I backed off and sat down at the counter. I had thought I knew Embry at least reasonably well, but I had no idea he could cook.

"How do you know how to cook?" I asked, watching as he opened a pack of frozen ground beef, dumped it into a pan and placed it on the stove, adding chopped garlic from a jar and opening a can of tomatoes.

"Paul, I lived with my Mom my whole life," he said. "She's a great cook; it was bound to rub off sooner or later." He stirred the beef and sprinkled in some dried green herb from a jar.

"What's that?"

"Out of date oregano, but it won't kill you and it'll still have some flavour. Why have you got this stuff if neither of you cooks?"

"Beats me," I shrugged. "Maybe Dad had a woman over when I was in New York. I don't know, he never said."

Embry grabbed another pan, poured in boiling water from the kettle and tipped in half a pack of spaghetti. "Here's a note," he said suddenly, passing me a folded piece of paper. "It was tucked under the kettle."

I took the piece of paper and unfolded it. 'Gone to Forks overnight, see you tomorrow. Dad.'

"Hmm, maybe he has got a woman," I mused. "Weird, he always used to brag about them."

I folded my arms and rested them on the counter, watching Embry making the meal. I wanted my own place and the sooner the better. I could imagine myself coming home from Forks after work, Embry walking back from Jake's garage, sharing a shower with me, him maybe cooking some dinner, falling into bed together. I got up and rounded the counter quickly, walking up behind him where he stood stirring the spaghetti sauce. I slid my arms around his waist, nuzzled his neck.

"Stay the night with me," I said softly. "I want to wake up with you."

"Are you sure?" He turned his head to look at me over his shoulder, a smile on his lips.

"Yeah." I lifted one hand, pulled his hair aside and kissed his ear, then his cheek. "You taste of the sea."

"I need a shower," he grinned.

"Great minds think alike."

"Huh?"

"I was just thinking about us sharing a shower." I touched my mouth to his neck at the point where it met his shoulder, sank my teeth in gently, pressing my body against his back as his closeness and the smell and taste of him began to turn me on all over again. "I can't get enough of you."

"Paul..."

"Yeah?" I gripped his hips and rubbed myself against his butt.

"Stop it, I'll burn the sauce."

"Damn you." I let go of him reluctantly and stepped away again, waiting for the food to be ready and trying not to think about the fact that I would have him with me for the whole night.

The spaghetti was amazing, out of date oregano or not. We ate with the plates on our laps, feet on the coffee table, finished off by sharing a carton of caramel icecream and then I threw the crockery into the dishwasher and headed for the bathroom. My skin was itchy with the sea salt and I couldn't wait to get in the shower with Embry. I took the lube out of my pocket and put it beside the shower gel with a grin, then stripped my clothes off again and took a pee while I waited for Embry to join me. By the time he came in I was standing under the hot spray, leaning against the tiled wall, my cock hard as I massaged it with a handful of lather.

Embry undressed and stepped into the shower. "Can't you wait?"

"No," I grinned, grabbing the shower gel again. I poured more into my hands and began to rub it over Embry's chest and stomach. He rapidly grew hard as I washed him and his hands began to imitate my actions on my own body until all traces of the sea and our activities on the beach were gone. We washed our hair quickly and then I manoeuvred him between my body and the wall, twisted the shower head slightly away so that it cascaded down my back and began to kiss him. His mouth was hot and eager and he slid his arms around me, pulling me harder against him, his cock bumping mine. I slipped one hand between our bodies, grasping both together and palming them, pressing them hard against my stomach.

"Oh, God," Embry moaned, breaking the kiss to nibble at my neck. His teeth grazed the spot just below my ear and I shuddered. This time I wasn't going to torment myself by waiting until I was about to explode. I pulled away from him and turned him around until he faced the wall, then gathered up a handful of his wet hair and pushed it off his neck, teasing his ear with my tongue and resting my eager cock against his butt, gyrating slowly and rubbing against him. Embry let out another groan, leaning one arm on the wall above his head and reaching down with the other hand to touch himself. I grabbed the lube, coated myself in it quickly and guided myself into him, pushing the head of my cock in and then pausing as before.

"Ok?" I murmured in his ear.

"Mmm." His moan sounded strangled and I slid in all the way, bracing one hand on the wall to the side of him and pushing his hand off himself with the other so I could jack him off while I fucked him. This time it wasn't so hurried and desperate. I built up the pace slowly, my hand on him mirroring the speed of my body's movements, Embry thrusting himself back against me, his cock pulsing in my hand. When we came, it was at the same time; the clenching of his muscles around me as he began to come making me instantly spill my seed into him. I stayed where I was for a few moments afterwards until I softened and slipped out of him, then I turned him to face me again and brushed my lips against his.

We washed each other once again, then towelled dry quickly and headed for my room. It was still early, but exhaustion was beginning to take over and when we climbed into my bed together and Embry snuggled into my arms I wondered how I was ever going to let him go again in the morning. I wanted so badly to tell him how I felt and really, what was stopping me? There couldn't be a more perfect time.

"Em..." I murmured.

"Mmm?" His mouth touched my throat, then my chin as he raised his head, then his eyes met mine in the semi-darkness. My heart was hammering, harder and more unevenly than when we had been having sex. My stomach fluttered stupidly with nerves and I touched his face gently.

"I love you," I whispered.

I heard a soft gasp and he seemed to stop breathing for a moment. I smiled as I waited for him to say something.

"I love you too."

I touched my lips lightly to his and then hugged him tighter against me as I closed my eyes. At long last I was happy again.

When I woke hours later, Embry was still in my arms, his back turned to me and my body moulded around his. His head was turned slightly to the side, a smile on his lips and one of his hands covered mine where it rested on his stomach. I heard a slight sound and blinked, trying to shake off the remains of sleep. The door flew open at the same time as I heard Dad begin to speak.

"Paul, what the hell are you still doing sleeping, it's...?" He broke off and his eyes widened in shock. "Uh...hmm..."

"Hey, Dad," I said, annoyed when I felt my face colouring up. I was twenty-one and I was blushing like a kid caught in a compromising position. Embry stirred and opened his eyes, caught sight of Dad in the doorway and buried his face in the pillow with a groan. I drew away from him quickly.

"I'll...leave you to it." Dad backed away and closed the door. I sat up.

"Shit," Embry said, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Is he mad?"

"Embarrassed, more like," I snorted. I dropped a light kiss on his shoulder and threw myself out of the bed. "I'll go talk to him." I pulled on underwear, jeans and a t-shirt and headed for the kitchen where I found Dad making coffee.

"Want some?" he offered.

"Yes, thanks."

"It's your business," he grunted to my surprise. "I wasn't here after all."

"Yeah, where were you, anyway?" I asked curiously.

"Forks, didn't you see the note?"

"Yeah..."

"I met someone," Dad said with a sudden grin. "A few months back when you were in New York. Biker woman, came in the shop to get some mods done. Her name's Charlie - Charlotte."

"Oh, really? Well, I've been back a while, you never mentioned her."

"She's been away, her mother lives in Chicago. She's been sick, Charlie's been over there a few weeks caring for her. She just got back into town yesterday."

"Am I going to meet her?" I asked.

"Sure, she asked me to bring you over to her place for dinner some time."

"Let me know when," I said. "So, about Embry..."

"Yeah, look, I guess I got used to you and him somewhere along the way," Dad said. "Presumably it's a long term thing."

"Yes," I nodded. "Even without the Imprint. We love each other. I'm going to look for my own place."

"To buy or rent?"

"I don't know, whatever I can find I guess," I said.

"Well, if you buy and you need help with the deposit, let me know." Dad pulled three mugs out of the cupboard, dumped coffee into them and began to pour in hot water. "I suppose he drinks coffee, does he?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Dad." I added sugar to two of the mugs and picked them up. Dad being so accepting was pretty surprising, but I suppose he had time to get used to it and perhaps the mysterious biker woman, Charlie, had softened him up somewhat. I headed back to my room with the coffees, finding Embry dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed looking worried.

"Dad's cool, it's ok," I said, passing him one of the mugs. "He even made you coffee."

"Really? If it was my Mom, she'd have gone mad."

"Yeah, he's got a woman on his mind, I think that helped. Is your Mom's problem with you being with a guy or being with me?"

"Both. She's not anti-gay as such, she just thinks it's embarrassing and she hates that she won't have grandchildren. And you know what she thinks about you." He grimaced and sipped the coffee. "Guess it's going to be a while before we can do this again."

"I don't know, Dad's pretty serious about this Charlie; wants me to meet her and everything. I guess he'll be staying with her regularly. Anyway, I'm going to start looking for my own place tomorrow."

"Can you afford it?"

"Sure and Dad said he'd help with a deposit if I buy rather than rent."

"Least that means we can spend more nights together," Embry said and then blushed slightly. "If you want me to stay."

"I was going to ask you to move in with me," I said in a rush, suddenly ridiculously nervous. I was his Imprint, he wasn't going to say no. "I thought I'd get a place and then ask, but it makes more sense that we choose the house together, otherwise I might get one that you hate and..."

"Idiot," Embry beamed, pressing his fingers to my lips to shut me up. "You could buy a barn and put an airbed in there and I'd be happy so long as you wanted me with you."

"I think I can run to more than a barn," I smirked. "You know your Mom will hate me even more than she already does."

"Well, that's her problem. If your Dad can accept it, then she'll have to learn to do the same," he shrugged. "So when are we going house hunting?"

I grinned. "Tonight after work? Come over when you're ready and we'll check out the local agents' websites and see what's available."

"Can't wait." Embry leaned closer to give me a warm kiss, then gulped his coffee quickly and got ready to leave. He was already late for work and still had to go home first to change.

"Somehow I think Jake has more important things on his mind at the moment than what time you roll up," I said.

Embry laughed and headed for the door. Dad passed us in the hallway and nodded at us.

"'Morning, Embry," he said.

"'Morning, Mr Lahote," Embry said.

"Mick." Dad disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Maybe I should ask him to talk to your Mom," I grinned.

"Yeah, that would go down well, she likes him even less than you. I better go."

I pulled him towards me and gave him a quick kiss. "Love you."

"I love you, Paul."

I watched him jog down the driveway, grinning stupidly to myself. Then I went to get myself ready to drive back into Forks with Dad. I knew I was going to be counting off the hours that day. Later we would begin to look for a home together.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

That evening Dad and I returned from Forks to find Embry already arriving at the house on foot, a paper sack tucked under his arm. I leaped out of the truck almost before Dad had parked it and ran over to him, restraining myself from grabbing him for a passionate kiss with difficulty.

"I missed you," I grinned.

"Me too."

"What have you got there?" I asked, indicating the sack as we headed up the drive to the house.

"Food." Embry looked at Dad, who was unlocking the door. "Mick, I wondered if you'd mind me making some dinner for you."

"Mind?" Dad snorted. "Go for your life, we can't cook for shit, it's microwave dinners if you leave it to us."

Embry laughed and headed for the kitchen. Dad left us to it and went to take a shower.

"I hope your Dad likes Mexican," Embry said, unpacking tortillas, ground beef, cheese, refried beans and a number of other items.

"He likes anything that fills his stomach," I grinned. "What are you making?"

"Burritos."

"Awesome."

I observed and got in the way trying to kiss and cuddle him until Dad was out of the bathroom, then took a shower before dinner. The minute the crockery was in the dishwasher we grabbed my laptop and began looking for available properties. It quickly became apparent that there were none to rent on the Reservation, but plenty in Forks.

"I don't mind moving to Forks," Embry said.

"You don't have a car," I pointed out.

"I can get one."

"I'm used to travelling over there to work with Dad anyway and you start earlier than us, it makes more sense to stay here."

"What about the Spears' place over on Oak?" Dad suggested, peering over his customary bike magazine. "It's about two doors down from the Atearas' on the opposite side. I heard they were selling up."

"I was about to look for houses for sale," I said. "Which agent is it with?"

"I don't know," Dad shrugged. "I could speak to Gus, though, him and me go back a few years, he's a biker. Might save you the agents' fee if he'll sell private."

"How big is it?" I asked. Most of the houses on Quil's street were large and most likely cost a fortune.

"Two bedrooms, I think, single storey place with garages. Want me to ask?"

"Yeah, thanks," I grinned and to my surprise Dad pulled out his cellphone immediately and began scrolling through the numbers.

"Gus, hey man, it's Mick, long time no speak," Dad began a few seconds later. A few pleasantries were exchanged and then he asked, "So you're selling up; leaving the Res?"

After a couple more minutes, he said, "My kid's looking to buy; what are you asking? Mmm...uh huh...sure, how about I send him over?"

I glanced at Embry and smiled. So far things sounded good and when Dad ended the call, he told us Gus Spears would sell to us for one-fifty to get a quick sale and that we should get over there right away to check it out.

The house was perfect with large rooms, double garage, a distant view of the sea and a spa in the back yard. I glanced left and right, noting fences surrounding the yard and no neighbours with houses tall enough to look over. I grinned and winked at Embry, imagining the spa would be a great source of fun if we were able to buy the house.

We told Gus Spears we would see the bank as soon as they had an appointment free to talk about a mortgage and he promised he wouldn't accept any other offers until he got an answer for us.

We spent the rest of the evening in my room, talking excitedly about the prospect of moving into the house together and the following morning I called my bank as soon as they opened and made an appointment with the mortgage adviser for the next afternoon. Neither me nor Embry would have any trouble getting time off work for the meeting.

The next day I took my one and only suit to work with me and right after lunch scrubbed up in the washroom and put on suit, collar, tie and shiny shoes and waited for Embry to arrive, feeling like a dick with Dad and the other guys still working in their coveralls around me.

"Got a date?" one of them grinned at me.

"No. Appointment with the bank," I said.

"Uh huh."

"He's buying a house," Dad put in.

I didn't have to wait long for Embry and as we walked to the bank I found I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He was wearing a light grey suit, white shirt and dark grey tie, his hair pulled back into a neat tail and I longed to grab him and kiss him. I couldn't remember ever having seen him in a suit and he looked hot.

The bank said no. The stuffy mortgage adviser was clearly not impressed that two guys were asking for a mortgage together. He didn't actually say anything, but his expression made it obvious and I wouldn't have been surprised if that affected his judgement. His reasons were that I had moved location too many times in a short period and that Embry hadn't been in permanent employment long enough. Incredulously, we explained that I had gone to New York for a year to get over the death of my wife and that Embry had been in an accident which almost killed him, but neither of those things seems to be good enough reasons and we left eventually, dejected and with no mortgage and spent the rest of the afternoon looking at rental agents for properties in Forks, finding none suitable.

When we told Dad the news on the drive back to La Push, he said he was sorry, but didn't seem particularly interested and we stopped talking about it, disappointed that he had started off so supportive and now didn't seem to care that we had been let down. All he said, rather casually, was that we would just have to keep looking.

I didn't talk about it at home as Embry and I continued looking for rented properties without any luck and then on Sunday Dad took me into Forks to meet Charlie. Embry wasn't invited although I didn't really expect him to be, but I wasn't particularly happy about being taken away from him for a few hours when both of us were feeling so downhearted.

Charlie wasn't at all what I expected. I had never really been officially introduced to Dad's previous women, but most of them had been blonde, brassy, loud and cheap. Charlie was dark-haired, curvy, maybe ten years younger than Dad and wearing cream slacks and a light blue silk shirt. She was soft and bubbly with a tinkling laugh and her apartment was pristine and expensively furnished. She looked at Dad like he was her idol and immediately treated me like a long lost brother.

She cooked pasta for us and served it with salad, home made garlic bread and wine all set out on a dining table with a cloth and napkins and fancy china and proved to be the perfect hostess. I liked her immediately and it was only when she asked if I had a girlfriend that I was unsure how to answer. I doubted Dad would have told her about that and I glanced at him with a raised eyebrow before I spoke. Much as I wanted to proudly tell her about Embry, I didn't want to piss him off at my first meeting with the woman he clearly adored.

"Paul's gay, Charlie," Dad said suddenly.

She looked at me and smiled. "Really? Well, do you have a boyfriend then?"

"Yeah, his name's Embry," I said, amazed, not by her question, but by what Dad had said.

"Have you known him long?"

"Since we were at school."

"Maybe I can meet him one day," she smiled.

"I'm sure he'd like that," I grinned back.

"So? What did you think of her?" Dad asked me later as we drove back to La Push. He sounded like a kid eager for his parents to approve of his new girlfriend.

"She's awesome," I said honestly. "I wouldn't have her down for a biker though."

"Yeah, looks can be deceiving. God knows what she sees in me, but somehow it works," he beamed.

Two more weeks passed and still Embry and I were unable to find a place to live. The only positive thing was that Dad began to spend entire weekends with Charlie, meaning Embry could stay over with me. He had many fights with his mother over it and a huge one when he told her he would be moving out as soon as we could find somewhere to live. Even after several years of knowing her son was gay and seeing him begin spending every spare minute with me, she still didn't get used to it.

As I woke up with Embry one Saturday morning, it was to the sound of the front door opening and Dad's feet heading down the hallway towards my door. I glanced at the clock in surprise and saw that it was approaching eight o'clock. Seconds later he banged on my door.

"Get up, you two, I got a job for you!" he called out and walked off again.

"Your Dad's home?" Embry opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Yeah, I hope he didn't fight with Charlie. He doesn't sound pissed, though. Better see what it's about."

The job turned out to be helping Gus Spears and his family load their boxes of belongings into a trailer as they had apparently sold their house and were already moving out. Embry and I got stuck in and helped, but seeing them getting ready to leave the house we had wanted so much was upsetting. The Spears family were travelling light, leaving a good portion of their furniture behind for the new owners and taking only kitchen items, bedding and towels and their personal things and electrical equipment. By early afternoon everything was packed up, Mrs Spears had made lunch from whatever was left in the refrigerator and we all ate sitting on the porch. An hour later, they were gone. Embry and I were over by Dad's truck and didn't hear him saying goodbye to his old friend, so when he walked over to us carrying a thick envelope and a bunch of keys, I was surprised. They looked like the house keys.

"These are for you." Dad's serious expression broke into a wide grin as if he had been suppressing it with difficulty and he gave me the keys and Embry the envelope. Our mouths dropped open in unison.

"What? What did you do? You bought the house?" I stammered.

"Of course I bought the house, you wanted it, didn't you?" he smirked. "Fucking mortgage adviser's a jerk, I agree with you on that one. He couldn't think up a good enough excuse to say no to me though. The deposit was a gift - you can expect socks for Christmas for the next ten years. The monthly payments are detailed on the papers in there..." He pointed at the envelope. "You can give it to me each month and I'll pay the bank."

"Are you serious? Shit, Dad! That's awesome! Thanks so much!" I couldn't remember hugging him since I'd been a kid, but now I did just that with gusto. He laughed in an embarrassed fashion and pushed me off, pointing at Embry. "Hug him. I'll see you later." He took off in the truck leaving us standing in front of our new home, speechless and staring at each other.

"Oh my God, your Dad is amazing," Embry whispered. He pulled the papers out of the envelope and glanced at a couple of pages, his eyes widening further. "Fuck me!"

"I plan to," I smirked, sliding my arms around me. "What are you looking at?"

"It says here the mortgage is only for a hundred thousand. He paid a twenty-five grand deposit and gave another twenty-five to Mr Spears a couple of weeks ago to hold it."

"Shit!" I exclaimed again. I knew Dad was doing pretty well, but I had no idea he had fifty grand just sitting around waiting to be spent. I certainly hadn't expected him to spend his money buying a house for me to share with my boyfriend.

Embry slid the papers back into the envelope now and we went inside. We had of course looked around a few weeks earlier, but suddenly everything was different; now we were looking around our own house and I wasn't sure about Embry, but I was envisioning us making out wherever we looked - up against the kitchen counter, on the huge sofa in the lounge, in our own bed. The Spears family had even left a virtually new king size bed in the main bedroom and I grabbed Embry now and wrestled him off his feet into the middle of it. I dropped the keys onto the floor beside the bed and Embry did the same with the envelope.

"I never thought I'd be this lucky," I said.

"Your Dad's awesome," Embry smiled.

"I didn't mean that. Well, it's part of it, but I meant I never expected I would be this happy." I propped myself on one elbow and looked down at him. "That's because of you. I love you so much, I hope you know that."

He nodded slowly. "I can feel that you do."

"Things changed so fast for me," I mused. "I thought I was never really going to move on. When we were in New York and I saw how miserable I was making you, suddenly you were all I was thinking about. You're my life now. I just wish I could have Imprinted on you."

"The fact that you want it is enough." Embry slid his arms around my neck and pulled me down against him. "Are we going to stay here tonight?"

"Damn right!" I said at once. "Although we should go and get a few things first."

"Yeah, I'm going to want my toothbrush and definitely coffee for the morning."

I sniggered. "I was thinking of lube, shower gel and towels."

"That's all you ever think about," he teased.

"Can you blame me?" I pressed my lips against his and what I intended to be a warm kiss rapidly turned into a deep passionate one as I plunged my tongue into his mouth and slid my arms under him, shifted my body until I rested on top of him. I stayed there until I ached with longing, the feel of Embry's arousal only making things worse and then I reluctantly rolled away from him and sat up. "I suppose the sooner we sort things out, the sooner we can start enjoying our new home," I grinned.

Embry got up immediately and I picked up the keys. A few minutes later we set off on foot, my hand gripping Embry's tightly as we walked. As we passed Quil's house he suddenly leaned out of one of the upper windows and shouted down.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing down this way?"

"We're going to be your neighbours," Embry grinned up at him.

"What the fuck?"

"Quil Ateara, mind your language!" Quil's mother could be heard shouting in the background and Embry and I laughed.

"We bought the Spears house," I said. "Or at least my Dad did."

"You're going to live together? Awesome! Your Mom's going to love that, Em, _shit!"_

_"Quil!"_ Mrs Ateara yelled.

"Quil, stop cussing, you have a child Imprint, remember," Embry smirked. "Yeah, so how about you lend us your truck for an hour or so. We're just going to pick up some stuff and come back."

"What's it worth?" Quil said at once.

"A pizza. But we'll drop it here with the truck, you're not coming over the first night," I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

"You think I want to be a gooseberry with you two fu - jerks?" Quil grimaced. "Ok, pizza's good. Here." He leaned out of the window and hurled a keyring at me. I raised my hand just quick enough to prevent it hitting me in the eye and snatched it out of the air.

"Thanks, buddy. See you soon."

With Quil's truck, the errands took much less time. We called at Dad's house first and I grabbed a backpack and stuffed into it a change of clothes, towels, showergel, my toothbrush, lube and some items from the kitchen including coffee and breakfast fixings and some basic items of crockery. We were going to have to take a shopping trip soon to buy all the essentials, but for one night, what I had would do.

Next we drove over to Embry's house. I suggested waiting outside, but he grasped my hand determinedly and towed me into the house. Tiffany Call appeared out of the kitchen in a moment.

"I wasn't expecting you back," she said, eyeing me with a frown.

"I'm just collecting some things," he told her. "I'll be taking everything in a couple of days, we got a house."

"I thought this house thing was some kind of pipe dream."

"Mom, do you seriously think I would make something like that up? We tried to get a mortgage and the bank said no, so Paul's Dad bought us a house, we just have to give him the mortgage payments. You know, Mom, I'm going to be with Paul the rest of my life, like I've told you a million times, so would it kill you to try and accept it? Mick hated the idea of Paul being with a guy to begin with, but I guess he realised in the end that the most important thing is that his son is happy."

"Of course I want you to be happy, Embry. It's not so much the fact that you're...you know...but..."

"Gay, Mom. You can say it," he growled. "I'm gay and I love Paul. He's my Imprint!"

I glanced at Embry in surprise. He was starting to lose it and I could see he was sweating, almost pulsing with anger. Could he possibly be close to phasing after so long?"

"Em, calm down," I said softly, resting my hand on his shoulder. He was burning up. "Look at me."

He turned his head and his eyes met mine. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

"Just get the things you need and we'll go," I told him.

He nodded, drew away from me and disappeared to his room. I walked slowly down the hallway towards Tiffany and stepped into the kitchen. She probably wouldn't want to hear a word I had to say, but wasn't it worth a shot?

"What do you want, Paul?" she asked, sounding flustered.

"Nothing for myself. I'd like for you to be more accepting of Embry. My Dad hated what I am too for a while, but he got over it. Don't you want Embry to be happy?"

"Of course I do, I said so!" she snapped.

"But you have a problem with me."

"What do you think? I had to watch Embry crying over you for years. He never said much, but I'm not stupid; I knew it was because he Imprinted. You're just like your father, barging your way through life trampling on everyone's feelings like they don't matter so long as you're ok..."

"That's not true at all," I interrupted. "If I hadn't Imprinted, I would have been with Embry for the last five years. Whatever you might think, he's the most important person in my life now. I'm never going to hurt him or let him down. As for my Dad...he might have had a bit of a bad reputation for a few years, but he's not a bad guy and he settled down too just lately. Would it hurt to at least give me a chance?"

"I can't help it if I don't want to see my son treated the same way I..." She stopped suddenly.

"I beg your pardon?" I could feel my eyebrows rising towards my hairline. What exactly was she saying?

"Nothing," she said now.

"No, go on. Have you a grudge against my Dad?"

"Forget it, I have nothing further to say," Tiffany frowned, flushing somewhat.

"No, really, go on, Mom," said Embry from the doorway. "I want to know the real reason you won't give me and Paul your blessing."

"I am not talking to you about this!" she snapped.

"Em, drop it, it's ok," I said, going to join him. I had a feeling I knew what the problem was and it could wait. "Leave it until another time. Let's go."

"Fine. I'll be back for the rest of my stuff over the next couple of days," Embry said and stalked off down the hall. I made to follow him until Tiffany's voice halted me.

"I don't want him to be ashamed of me," she said. "It was about seven years ago. Your Dad and I dated a couple of times. I guess I thought it might turn into more than it was. He wasn't particularly nice to me."

"My Dad split with my Mom around that time, did he tell you that?" I asked.

"No..."

"They fought like cat and dog. He went nuts after. Believe me, you weren't the only one. It's no excuse, but he wasn't himself. He didn't care about anything for a long time. He's different now and I'm not like that either. It half killed me when Rachel died, but I'm over it. I'll be with Embry now until one of us dies."

Much to my surprise, Tiffany's eyes grew tearful for a second before she blinked rapidly and drove them away.

"Maybe you could ask Embry to come over tomorrow and talk to me," she said quietly. "I've been pretty unfair to him."

"Sure, he'll be glad to sort things out," I nodded.

"Thanks, Paul. And I'm sorry. I misjudged you."

"Don't worry about it." I shot her a grin and set off after Embry. He was already outside waiting on the porch.

"What was she talking to you about?" he frowned as we got into the truck.

"She says she wants you to come over tomorrow and talk to her and that she misjudged me," I told him. "I guess she'll tell you the rest herself."

"Are you serious? What did you say to her?" Embry marvelled.

"Not a lot, but I think things will get a lot better with her from now on."

I started the truck and drove over to the fast food bar by the bus station where we picked up three pizzas, then headed back to Oak Road, dropping the vehicle and one of the pizzas off at Quil's place first. We gathered up the bags and the other pizzas and then walked over to our house together, to eat dinner and spend the first night in our own home.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

We dug into the pizzas as soon as we got indoors, ravenous as usual. Our first meal in our new home. I took the opportunity to find the switch for the spa before we sat down to eat and turned it on to warm up, thinking we may as well try it out as soon as possible. The only thing we hadn't thought of was beer, but much to our surprise we found a half dozen bottles in the refrigerator, presumably left there by Gus Spears, unless Dad had put them there for us. We opened a couple to wash down the pizza and then I grabbed the rest and placed them on the side of the spa while Embry was in the bathroom. When he emerged moments later, I grabbed him immediately.

"What do you fancy doing now?"

"Um..." Embry yawned and extricated himself from my arms. "I'm fucked, I think we should get an early night, I could sleep for a week."

I knew my face must have fallen a mile. Our first night together in our own house and I wanted to celebrate, not to mention the fact that I was horny as hell at the thought of fooling around in the spa, but all Embry wanted to do was sleep? Now he burst into loud peals of laughter.

"You are too easy to tease!" he snorted. "You think I didn't notice you turn the spa on?"

"Oh, so you want to go in the spa then?" I smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding? Did you really think I'd want to go to sleep the first night in our home?"

"Right!" I stooped and wrapped my arms around his thighs, hoisting him up over my shoulder and headed for the rear door.

"Paul, put me down!" Embry's hands began slapping my butt none too gently. "At least let me take my clothes off!"

"I'll take them off in a minute. You were keen to get in the spa a second ago."

"Let me go!"

He began to laugh helplessly and abandoned slapping me in favour of wrapping his arms around my waist, one hand sliding down to stroke over the rapidly hardening bulge in my pants. I kicked my shoes off, unable to suppress a groan, and stepped into the gently bubbling water. Embry appeared too engrossed in trying to unfasten my jeans buttons upside down and back to front to worry about getting wet any longer and I pushed his hands off me and lowered myself carefully to my knees in the middle of the large tub. The water reached to my neck and Embry slithered sideways from my shoulder with a splash and submerged completely. When he surfaced, I grasped him and pulled him towards me so that he faced me on his knees. He reached down and resumed unfastening my pants, then pulled my cock out into his hand. I sucked my breath in as he squeezed it firmly. I pushed his hand off me just long enough to remove his t-shirt and then my own.

After a couple more minutes squirming around in the water, trying to touch each other at the same time as undressing, finally we were naked and I sat down again and stretched my legs out in front of me, resting my head against the side of the spa as Embry straddled my thighs and took my cock in his hand again and his own in the other, rubbing them together. I cupped his face in my hands and drew him down to kiss me, thrusting my tongue eagerly into his mouth and devouring him until I had to pull back and gasp for breath. His hand on me quickened its pace and I bit my lip, trying to breathe deep and make it last, but it was a losing battle.

"Jesus, Em, don't make me come in the water," I groaned, thinking about having to clean it up later.

"I wasn't planning to." He continued rubbing me until I was seconds away from losing it, then suddenly slid off my lap, bent and ducked his head under the water, taking me in his mouth.

"Oh, shit!" I muttered, looking down at his head beneath the surface, thinking I should probably pull him up again, but it felt so fucking good I didn't want him to stop. I came before I needed to worry about him holding his breath and he popped up a moment later, grinning and panting.

"You're nuts," I murmured, leaning forward to taste his mouth. He tasted of me and I sucked gently on his lower lip for a moment before I drew back. "My turn. Sit up there." I patted the side of the spa behind me and he got to his feet and sat on the edge. His erection quivered in front of his stomach and he gripped the edge of the tub either side of him as I pushed his thighs apart and sat between them.

I began teasing him, running my tongue along the inside of one thigh almost all the way up to his groin, but stopping a couple of inches away from his balls. I traced lazy circles with the tip of my tongue, making him shiver and groan, his hand quickly moving to his cock and beginning to stroke firmly. I raised my head again and grabbed his hand, pulling it away.

"Less of that, or I won't carry on."

"Damn you," Embry groaned. "Touch me...please."

"I love it when you beg," I grinned.

"Paul..."

"Sshh." I returned my attention to the inside of his other leg, making him squirm and whimper for a couple more minutes before I gave in and drew one of his balls into my mouth, rolling it around gently on my tongue before I let it slip out again and captured the other instead. When I raised myself up more and ran my tongue along the length of his erection until I was nibbling at the head, he propped himself up a little and draped one leg over my shoulder.

"Please, stop tormenting me," he moaned.

"You love it."

I grasped his cock firmly and began to stroke up and down, dropping my head again to lick between his legs, moistening the tight puckered hole with saliva before I pressed the end of one finger against it, watching as my digit slowly disappeared inside him. Embry squirmed helplessly, thrusting himself into my hand and squeezing my finger, his whole body quivering. I carefully added another finger and then leaned over him, drawing the head of his cock into my mouth, tasting precum oozing from the slit. Sucking him, following the movement of my mouth with my hand, finger fucking him, he came in another minute and I squeezed every drop out of him before I took my hands and mouth off him. He raised his head slowly and looked at me, panting. I slid my hands under him and pulled him upright.

"I love you, Em," I murmured.

"I love you too," he breathed.

"Let's go to bed." I got up slowly and drew him to his feet.

"Shit, my legs don't belong to me," he giggled, holding on tight to my hand and following me slowly into the house.

I flicked the switch to turn the spa off and grabbed one of the towels we had brought with us to dry us off before we headed for the room which was to be ours from then on. There was no bedding on the king size bed, but we fell onto it, unconcerned and rested in each other's arms for a time, not talking. I simply relished the moment of being in my own house, holding Embry, not worrying about anything else - what I had been through, what I had lost, didn't matter any more. I had a future and I meant to make the most of every minute.

We had sex before we slept, beginning slowly and gently, wrapped around each other, then finishing with me sitting up, my back to the wall and Embry kneeling astride me, pretty much the same way we had begun playing in the spa. With him on top, controlling the pace, he tortured me by rising up until I almost slid out of him, hovering there while long seconds ticked by and then pushing himself down hard until I couldn't stand it any longer and gripped him tight by the hips, grinding him down onto me until we both came hard and collapsed onto the mattress in each other's arms.

When we woke in the morning, we shared the shower, made coffee and then descended on Dad for breakfast before Embry set off to see his Mom. The minute he was out of the door, I spoke to Dad.

"If I ask you something, will you answer without punching me?" I said.

"Depends." Dad's eyebrows rose a touch. "Not after more money, are you?" He followed this up with a smirk.

"I don't know how we're ever going to thank you for that."

"No need. So what's the question?"

"What's with you and Embry's Mom?" I blurted out.

"Oh, she spilled, did she?" he said wrily.

"She didn't say much. I guess she'll say more to Embry, she wanted to sort things out with him. She said she misjudged me because of you."

"I was a real shit to her, no point me denying it," Dad said with a sigh. "You know how things were with me and your Mom, always fighting. When she left, I drank and wallowed for a few weeks and then I guess I went out looking for someone to punish since she was gone. Tiffany was the first one to cross my path. I'm not proud of it - I got what I wanted and then realised she was the type to call every five minutes thinking one night together meant a wedding ring would follow at some point. They're all like that, I think, you're lucky." Dad chuckled suddenly, much to my surprise. "Basically I told her to fuck off," he continued, grimacing. "I'm not proud of it. She's got plenty of reasons to hate my guts, I'm just sorry it affected you and Embry."

"Well, I guess she forgave me for your transgressions," I said. "So long as I don't go telling Embry to fuck off."

"You better not, now I bought your fucking house," snorted Dad.

"Not a chance," I grinned.

I stayed talking to him for another hour and then Embry called and asked me to go over with the truck to get his belongings. His Mom opened the door to me and actually invited me in for coffee and said that she would make more effort to accept us being together and that she hoped we would be happy in the new house.

We spent the rest of the day shopping in Forks. I hated shopping with a vengeance unless it was food I was buying, but Embry seemed quite happy picking out bedding, towels, crockery and electrical gadgets for the kitchen. I followed behind, carrying things and pulling out my wallet when required, rolling my eyes and fidgeting when he took time to decide on the colour of the two sets of bedding he was buying.

"Blue stripes or plain?" He glanced over his shoulder at me.

"I don't give a shit, I'm not going to be looking at them when I'm in bed with you," I smirked.

"Paul!" he hissed, blushing.

"What? Don't tell me people buy bedding and only use it for decoration."

"Some do."

"Well, then, their lives are pretty fucking boring," I grinned, wrapping my arm around his waist from behind and biting his neck gently.

"Stop it, will you?" Laughing now, he pushed me off. "You'll get us thrown out of here."

"I hope so, if I never see a houseware store again it'll be too soon." I let go of him reluctantly and allowed my arms to be filled with packages of sheets and pillow slips and God only knew what before we headed for the checkout, much to my relief.

"What now?" I asked minutes later as we dumped the bags of purchases in the truck.

"The Deep Freeze," Embry said.

"What the fuck is 'the deep freeze?' I grunted, starting the engine.

"The freezer store."

"That tells me a lot. Which way?"

"Left. I'm surprised you haven't been, you and your Dad live on frozen dinners," Embry smirked. "It just sells packs of everything frozen and there's a huge freezer in the utility, I want to stock up on meat and..."

"Jesus, alright, whatever," I sighed. "You're getting domesticated pretty damn quick, Em."

"Good thing too, now I have you to look after," he smirked, snuggling up to my side as I drove. "I don't want you living on pizza, all those carbs and fats don't do much for your energy levels."

I grinned. "Yeah, good point."

Somehow Embry managed to spend two hundred dollars in the freezer store. I watched him stash packs of steak, chicken, fish and various accompaniments into the cart and then start on the burgers and sausages.

"That looks more like it," I grinned.

"I thought we'd have a barbeque. You know, for a housewarming." He grabbed several packets of frozen bread rolls in different shapes.

"Are you serious? You want a party?" I groaned.

"Yeah, it's what couples with new houses do. Just the pack and your Dad and what's her name...Charlie..."

"She said she wanted to meet you," I put in. "What about your Mom?"

"Huh," Embry said. "She's cool with you now, more or less, but I don't think she'd want to run into your Dad. She can come over another time."

"God, mother-in-law for dinner," I snorted. "I think I liked it better when we were sneaking around screwing in the truck or on the beach." I was only joking, but Embry's face immediately fell a mile and he bit his lip.

"You don't mean that, do you?"

"Of course I don't mean it, I'm sorry, Em, it was a stupid joke," I groaned.

Embry stuck his tongue out. "You know if you say things like that I'll make you sleep in the garage."

"No, you won't. You'd miss me doing this." I pulled him close to me and licked his ear, then nibbled the lobe. I backed off quickly as a woman with two small children shot me a disapproving glare.

We finished in the freezer store and much to my relief, that was the shopping over and we were on the way home. Embry spent the next couple of hours putting things away and making the beds. I emptied the frozen food into the freezer and then threw myself onto the couch and waited for him to finish.

"So when are we having this house warming?" I asked when he had thrown something into the oven and sat down with me.

"Saturday? Shit, you know what we didn't buy? Beer and wine and stuff."

"Tell them to bring their own," I grinned. "I'm kidding. We better do the inviting or it'll be too short notice for some."

Embry grabbed his cellphone immediately. "You call Sam and Jared, I'll call Quil and Jacob."

Everyone was delighted to be invited to a house warming, Dad and Charlie included. Even Leah agreed to come and she had always been the least sociable out of all of us. However, Mark, according to Seth, had managed to change her from a bad tempered tomboy into a much more pleasant and feminine person. I hadn't seen her for some time and couldn't imagine it, but when she and Mark turned up on Saturday, the first out of everyone to arrive, she was wearing a yellow dress, a touch of lipstick and carrying a wrapped gift while Mark had a six-pack of beers in each hand. By the time Jacob and Seth and Sam and Emily had arrived, also with an assortment of beer, wine and gifts, it was clear we hadn't needed to stock up on alcohol after all.

Quil appeared next with Claire and two of her little friends, much to everyone's amusement, and proceeded to play games with them to keep them entertained and to wipe their faces after the hotdogs like a regular father figure.

"That's really weird to know you're probably going to marry her one day," I said to him, eyeing the little girl scampering around with her friends in their party dresses.

"Shut up, I don't even think like that," Quil said. "She's like my little sister."

"Are you still phasing?" I asked him.

"Of course. I'm going to be eighteen for years yet, until she catches up."

Dad and Charlie turned up late, having called to say Charlie's car wouldn't start and Dad had gone into Forks to pick her up. She hadn't wanted to come on her bike and mess her hair up as it was a special occasion. Jared and I were manning the barbeque when they arrived and it was Emily who let them in.

"Paul, your Dad's here," she announced, leading them through the house to the back yard where the rest of us were. I handed the tongs over to Jared quickly and went to greet them.

"Hey, Charlie, glad you could come," I said. She beamed from ear to ear and gave me a kiss on each cheek.

"So where's Embry? I want to meet him."

I turned around and pointed. "That's him. Em, come here!"

He was playing some kind of giant board game with Quil and Claire on the lawn and he sprang up now and came over. Once I introduced him to Charlie, the pair hit it off immediately and I returned to the barbeque with Dad, leaving them gossiping. Everything seemed to be going well and for once there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It seemed that Embry's idea for a barbeque as a house warming had been a good one.

It was only when we had one more unexpected visitor later that I wondered briefly if we were in for trouble.

"Paul, where's Embry?" Kim asked me suddenly as I gathered up plates which were scattered around the yard.

"I don't know, he must be in the house."

"His Mom's at the front door."

"Fantastic," I said. "I'll go speak to her, thanks, Kim."

I walked through the house to the open front door where Tiffany was waiting, a package held in front of her in both hands.

"Hey, Tiffany, we weren't sure if you'd come over," I said.

"Well, I thought I would, it's a special occasion for you and Embry," she replied, holding the package out towards me. "It's just some kitchen stuff, you know how Embry likes cooking."

I grinned. "Yeah, I do. Thanks a lot. Do you want to come in?"

"Um..."

"You know my Dad's here, right?" I added.

"Yes, I know." She hesitated a moment and then nodded. "Alright, I guess I'll come in for a few minutes."

I had expected her to say no and I stepped back to let her pass me and closed the door, then showed her the lounge and the kitchen before we headed out back. Embry left Jacob and Seth whom he was talking to and came over immediately.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"You're supposed to say thank you for coming," she said wrily. "I thought I would show my face. I'm not staying long."

I left them to it and went to sit with Jacob and Seth, realising I hadn't really talked to either of them much since Jacob asked my advice on the beach. I kept an eye on Dad and Tiffany at the same time. Embry seemed to be going to great efforts to keep them away from each other. When I looked that way again a few minutes later, Tiffany had already left.

"So how's things with you two?" I asked, eyeing Jacob knowingly. He flushed immediately.

"Awesome!" Seth beamed.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, they're pretty good," added Jacob, avoiding my eyes and smirking. I grinned. It was fairly apparent things had moved forward with them and as I talked to them I kept noticing the way their eyes met constantly, the way they would touch each other repeatedly as they talked, the love in their eyes. Jacob had moved on from his Imprint with Seth's help the same way I had and both of us could now enjoy our future.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

After the party, we began to settle down into a routine. We would have breakfast together, then Embry set off on foot to work at Jacob's around seven-forty-five. I would walk over to Dad's for nine-fifteen and we drove into Forks to start work at ten. By the time I got home at six-thirty Embry would be cooking dinner so I dived in the shower, ate with him and then we would spend the evening doing things together. On the weekends we saw our friends more often than not, unless we decided to shun them in favour of some time for just us; then I would often take Embry out for a meal or to the movies or something.

At Christmas we went to parties at Sam and Emily's and at Jared and Kim's and then much to our surprise we were invited to one at the house Mark had recently bought for Leah. I found it pretty hard to see Leah living with anyone and continuing to get along with them, but Mark really seemed to have changed her and a couple hours into the party, he suddenly stood up, called for everyone to shut the hell up and got down on one knee and proposed to Leah. Everyone fell silent as they waited to hear her answer. For a long moment she looked completely shocked, almost like a rabbit caught in the headlights. She hated being made a spectacle of and she wasn't much of a romantic either.

"You think she's going to bail?" Embry whispered in my ear.

I shrugged. I hoped not. Mark was kneeling there looking so hopeful, holding up a sparkling diamond ring. I was going soft in my old age. I remembered planning to propose to Rachel, steeling myself to do it because I knew it would be something she wanted, but partly grimacing at the romanticism of it. I felt different now. Maybe it was nothing to do with growing up. Maybe it was more to do with Embry.

"Yes, you idiot!" Leah exclaimed, beaming from ear to ear suddenly.

Clearly relieved, Mark slid the ring onto her finger and she grabbed him and urged him to his feet.

"Please get up." Her face had begun to turn red now as everyone clapped and cheered and shouted congratulations.

"Aww," I heard Embry say softly. "That's so sweet."

I glanced at him, wondering if marriage was something he wanted. I had no clue. He had wanted me for five years, but we had only actually been together for five minutes. His Imprint meant he would want me until the day he died, but would he want more than us living together? More of a commitment than we had already made? Would I want that? _No! _It was the first answer to immediately pop into my head, but it was quickly followed up by _maybe one day._

"Paul! Hey!"

I blinked as Embry's hand waved in front of my face.

"Where were you?"

"Oh, just thinking."

"Come and congratulate them. You know we're going to have to go and buy them a gift after this," Embry said now, tugging me across the room.

"Fuck, more shopping? How about I just give you my credit card and you buy something?" I grinned.

"Engagement presents are something you're supposed to do together. You have to be the least romantic person I know," Embry grinned and stuck his bottom lip out.

"Bullshit, I take you out for dinners and buy you stuff," I said.

"Yeah, I know."

"Don't tell me you want flowers as well," I teased him.

"Um...I really like purple roses," he said seriously.

I didn't really know how to answer that. I was tempted to scoff and say something about flowers being really gay, but he was so good at teasing I didn't know if he was serious or not. I realised with some alarm that there were still a lot of things I didn't know about him. I needed to do something about that and fast.

"I'm joking," he whispered. "Don't you know me by now? Flowers are gay. But I still like romance."

I snorted with laughter. "You might have a long wait."

I was saved from the gift-buying, much to my relief, as Embry went into Forks himself on a day off and bought a set of fancy crystal wine glasses for Leah and Mark, then wrapped them and wrote the tag from us both. I offered to pay, but he insisted I only give him half of what the glasses cost.

"How much?" I asked.

"A hundred bucks."

"A hundred...you spent two hundred bucks on wine glasses?" I said in disbelief, handing him the cash.

"Don't be so cheap, Paul, they just got engaged," grinned Embry.

"Well, let's hope nobody else follows suit for a while," I said and winked. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or if he really looked disappointed.

I tried sounding him out over various things during the next few weeks, but I never got anywhere. He would talk and talk about most things, but he would mostly avoid the subject of Mark and Leah getting married, or marriage in general and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. What if I knew he wanted to marry me? Would I do anything about it or avoid the issue as long as possible?

Embry was out right now - he and Jake and Quil sometimes hung out together, just the three of them. They had always been as thick as thieves and I knew they were over at Jake's garage drinking beer and gossiping. I went into the guest room and pulled a box out of one of the cupboards, dumping it on the floor and sitting down cross legged in front of it. It held things from my past; things I hadn't looked at since I packed them away before I left La Push for New York almost eighteen months ago now. I hesitated now, staring at the top of the box and wondering if I should just put it back rather than resurrect old ghosts.

After a few moments I opened the lid and looked inside. There wasn't really much in there; a few photographs - the ones I had actually taken the time to get printed - a couple of gifts I had received for Christmas and birthdays and the ring I had bought for Rachel, which I never got the chance to give her. I pulled the photographs out and shuffled through, picking out one of Rachel sitting on the beach, wearing a blue dress and holding a glass of wine and a piece of fried chicken. I could remember that day. I had surprised her with a picnic. I had asked Emily to make us a basket of food, then packed up a bottle of wine, glasses and a rug and taken her down to the beach for the afternoon. She had been over the moon with the idea.

_'Dare I to hope you're getting romantic in your old age, Paulie?" _ she had teased. It had been not long after my eighteenth birthday and she was twenty-two. She had always made fun of me for being the least romantic guy she knew, which was why I had arranged the picnic. I suppose I did have at least an ounce of romance in me after all.

"You knew I was going to propose, right?" I said to the photograph. "I hope you knew. I was going to do it the day after the ball game. I'm sorry I never talked to you before now; I guess at first it was too painful and now... I hope you're happy for me. I never thought I'd move on, but Embry helped me. I wonder what you think about me being with a guy. I know my guilt over rejecting him hurt you, but now I really love him and I'm not sure where I should go from here. Does he want more than this? I know I'm not going to get an answer, I guess I'm just talking."

I put the photograph down and picked up the ring box instead, feeling a little foolish. I had never really known whether the here after even existed, whether Rachel heard me or whether I was simply sitting there on the floor of the guest room talking to a piece of glossy paper like a jerk. I took the ring out of its velvet resting place and stared at it - a single large emerald on a gold band. Rachel had always said she would never wear diamonds - she thought they were cliche.

_'Diamonds are supposed to be a girl's best friend; well, not this girl,' _ she had said once when we had been out buying earrings for Emily's birthday one time. Rachel had picked pearls for the gift and told me she would leave the diamonds for Sam to buy.

I heard a slight sound and looked up quickly, jolted out of my memories and met Embry's eyes as he hovered in the doorway.

"Paul...?" His eyes fell from my face to the ring in my hand and the box of photographs in front of me and the colour left his face rapidly.

"Em..." I shoved the ring back into its box and jumped up.

"You still miss her..." Tears filled his eyes and he turned away quickly and flew down the hallway to the front door.

_"Em!" _I yelled, racing after him. Fuck, what the hell was wrong with me? All I succeeded in doing was upsetting him. I skidded in my sock feet on the polished wood floor, lurched sideways into the kitchen door and my arm and shoulder smashed through the glass panel, several shards embedding themselves in my flesh.

"Fuck!" I spat, pausing to yank the glass out of myself. Blood dripped and spattered to the floor and onto the leg of my jeans and I glared at the oozing wounds, willing them to close up as I hurried to the front door. By the time I got outside, Embry was nowhere to be seen.

I stood in front of the house, staring up and down but there was no sign of him anywhere. I went back inside and headed for the bathroom, washing the blood off myself first and noticing the cuts had already closed up and were healing. I grabbed my cellphone and went to put the damned box of memories back in the cupboard as I called Embry's cell. Seconds later I heard it ringing in the distance and I followed the sound back towards the open front door.

I found the phone in the grass to the side of the driveway and scattered around it fragments of fabric and a pair of shoes. He had phased. Cursing, I picked up his phone and went back inside. I was a complete jerk. How must it have looked to him? Me sitting there holding the ring I had intended to give to Rachel at the time when Embry's heart had been breaking a little more every day because he couldn't have me? Now he did have me and it looked like I was wishing I was still with her. I had to go after him and explain. If I just waited for him to come back, he would merely suffer longer, that's if he would even believe what I told him.

I put down both phones, removed my clothes and let myself out of the rear door of the house. It was dark and no one would see me in the yard. It had been years and I didn't even know if I could still do it, but I had to try. I closed my eyes and visualised my wolf. I knew he was still in there somewhere - he had healed my arm in a minute or two - but would I be able to bring him out in his physical form? For several minutes nothing happened. I sweated and panted, but that was all. I was filled with anxiety - fear almost - for Embry and the only way I would be able to find him was on four legs, following his scent.

"Please, come on, I know you're in there," I muttered. "Fucking come out, will you?"

I tried to think of the worst thing that could happen. Embry was clearly crushed - what if he was even now contemplating doing something stupid? Hurting himself somehow to escape what he thought I had done to him? What if I lost him? After everything we had been through, how would I stand it?

Pain and rage filled me and I felt the familiar heat rolling up from my stomach into my chest, my ribs seeming to close in and squeeze my organs as they began to change shape, the bones in my arms and legs reforming. I dropped onto my hands and knees and closed my eyes again, allowing the change to take me over until when I opened them again I was looking down at familiar grey paws.

_"Thank God,"_ I said inside my own head and trotted around the side of the house towards the front. Glancing left and right I saw no one. I quickly picked up Embry's scent from where the remains of his clothes lay beside the driveway and I broke into a run, squashing my instinct to snarl as I ran, which would only draw attention to myself. The scent led me in a straight line towards the edge of the Reservation and then on towards the woods and I pushed myself harder, sensing Embry was moving fast and that it was going to take some effort to catch him.

I completely lost track of time as I raced through the trees, my paws pounding the soft earth as hard and fast as I could move them, my tongue hanging from the side of my mouth as I panted for breath, my heart hammering in my furry chest. I couldn't hear Embry's thoughts or feel any of his emotions and I guessed he was blocking them from me. However far away he was I would have been able to pick up on something if his mind was open. I broke out of the trees again on the lower slopes of the Rockies and slowed my pace slightly. The scent was much stronger here and the light of the moon showed me paw prints here and there now I took the time to look down at the ground.

_"Embry, where are you?" _ I called out to him, continuing to trot along sniffing for him. _"Wait for me, please, I need to explain."_

_"How can you explain? You wish she was still alive! You want her back! You say you love me, but I'm never going to be more than just second best for you, am I?" _His anguished response was so loud it hurt my head and I stood still, shaking myself as he appeared from behind a large boulder and stood in front of me.

_"Em, please listen to me," _I said. _"Everything I've said to you, I've meant all of it. You're my life now. You have been for a long time. When you came home, I was just saying goodbye. I never spoke to her after she died; I couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I was telling her that my future is with you and that I hoped she accepted it. I wasn't wishing her back, regretting anything that happened with you."_

_"I can't compete with a ghost," _Embry said sadly. _"She was your Imprint. I know what that means."_

_"Yeah, but you don't know how it feels when your Imprint dies," _I told him. _"It's over. I got over it because of you. I'm not hurting any more, I don't wish the last few months with you never happened. I love you, Embry."_

He let out a long heavy sigh and sank down on his belly a few feet away from me, his nose resting on his paws.

_"I know all of that; I do. I can feel it. I guess it just hurt seeing you holding that ring, looking at her picture. It felt like you were wishing you got the chance to marry her; that you were wishing you had with her what Leah and Mark have now."_

_"More than anything, I was asking her to be happy for me. Because I'm happy. You make me happier than I've ever been in my life, Em, I mean that. I know she was my Imprint, but I wouldn't have picked her if fate hadn't done it. I would have picked you and I did pick you when you came out of that coma last year."_

_"I'm sorry," _Embry said.

_"Don't say that. Let's just go home and be together, huh?" _ I said. It was all I could do to keep the rest of my thoughts hidden from him - the thoughts about whether I was romantic enough, whether he might want more, whether he wanted to get married. I couldn't let him hear that. He would probably think it was only on my mind because of Rachel and because he was hurt.

_"Ok." _He rose slowly to his feet and padded towards me, stretching his neck forward and nuzzling my ear. _"I love you. I won't freak out like that again, I promise."_

_"You won't have any need to," _ I replied. I pulled my head back and licked his muzzle, then turned around and began to lead the way slowly back into the trees.

We ran home together, side by side, taking our time and not reaching the Reservation until dawn broke. By the time we emerged from the trees it was easily light enough for us to be seen and we made our way carefully towards the house, thinking two grey wolves would probably be less conspicuous than two naked guys, despite our size. Once as we came near to a road a truck passed by and we dropped to our bellies close to some shrubs, closing our eyes so that they wouldn't catch the headlights and alert the driver to our presence. The vehicle continued up the road without slowing and we rose again quickly and ran on, reaching our own front door without further incident in just a few more minutes.

I phased back immediately and opened the door. Embry walked in, still in his wolf form and I closed the door and stroked his head, then went to the bathroom to shower. By the time the water was up to temperature and I was stepping under it, he was human again and coming to join me. I slid my arms around him and pulled him against my body, meeting his eyes.

"Are you ok? You do believe me, don't you?" I said anxiously. "I hate that I hurt you so much that you phased."

"I believe you." He brushed his lips against mine, then caught my lower lip between his teeth and tugged on it gently. "I'm glad you came after me."

"Me too." I kissed him back for a long moment. "You know, you're pretty sexy as a wolf."

Embry grinned. "I always thought that about you. I had the hardest time keeping it to myself. The Imprint thing was impossible to hide, but the thoughts I was having about you half the time we were all phased would have made the whole pack blush."

"Oh, yeah?" I stepped away from him just enough to give me room to slide my hand between us, wrapping it around his cock as it began to stiffen. "Tell me more."

"You don't want to hear about that now," he smirked, blushing a little despite the months we had been together now.

"Yeah, I do." I grasped his hand in my free one and placed it on my erection. "See? Just wondering what you were thinking is driving me crazy."

"Ok." Sucking his breath in as I rubbed my hand up and down his shaft, he began to talk, his voice shaking occasionally each time I tightened my grip or used my other hand to squeeze his balls.

"I would think about what would happen if it was just us patrolling together. None of the others there, no chance of running into the Cullens. We would let our thoughts go - you would be thinking about you wanted to do to me and I'd see it in my own mind until we were both so horny we couldn't stand it. We would phase back to human out there in the forest and start kissing and touching each other...oh, fuck." He stopped, biting his lip and closing his eyes as my hand moved faster. His own hand on me stopped moving and simply squeezed.

"Go on," I prompted, shuddering and thrusting myself firmly against his palm. He continued jacking me off and finished the story.

"We would lay down in a clearing and you would start fucking me, hard and deep, pinning me to the ground. I would imagine the heat of your cock in me, your hand between us rubbing mine. How I never let those thoughts out I will never know. Every night we finished patrol I would run home and go to bed and jack off, sometimes two or even three times, going over and over that fantasy in my head."

"Shit, Embry," I groaned, slowing my hand as I felt him ejaculate. I pushed his hand off of me before I finished too and turned off the water. His eyes flew open.

"Let me..."

"I have a better idea," I grinned, grabbing a towel. "Bed. I don't want to waste it in the shower, I want to be fucking you when I come."

An hour later, after one fast and almost desperate fuck and one long, slow, gentle session of making love, we lay in each other's arms, gradually falling asleep, thankful it was Sunday and we didn't have to work. Embry's breathing slowed and grew deeper until I knew he was sleeping and I brushed my lips against his neck as I began to drift off myself. I hadn't been sure what he would want before, or what I should do, but I did now. I was going to ask him to marry me.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Dad, what would you think about me getting married?" I asked.

It was Friday morning two weeks later and we were in the truck on our way to work. I had been thinking about it since I decided what I was going to do and wondering whether to tell Dad or not. Would he accept it like he accepted me and Embry, or would he freak and think it was a step too far? I had considered several ways of telling him as I walked over to his house after breakfast and in the end I just blurted it out.

"Um..." was his response. "You mean to Embry, obviously."

"Yeah, of course to Embry." I could feel my face colouring up and I turned my head away and looked out of the window.

"Weeelllll," he drawled. "I guess it's the logical next step after moving in together, right?"

"So it wouldn't bother you, then?"

"Nah. I don't care what anybody else thinks either, only Charlie and she thinks the pair of you are - get this - cute." He wrinkled his nose and snorted. "You weren't even cute when you were in diapers, Paul."

"Thanks. I think." I relaxed and grinned.

"So when's the big day?" asked Dad.

"Hell, I didn't even ask him yet," I said. "I need to figure out how I'm going to do it so keep it to yourself."

Dad made a zipping motion across his lips and smirked. The butterflies which had been invading my stomach since I got up reduced slightly, but not completely. I had another task to complete that day, which was adding to the nerves. I was going to buy Embry a ring and I hadn't the first clue what he would like.

I went out in the lunchbreak and headed for a jewellers. There were no other customers in the store and two perfect looking girls behind the counter waiting to attend to me.

"May I help you, Sir?" one asked.

"Um...yeah..." I glanced around the store and headed towards the counter where she stood, which happened to have trays of rings under its glass top. "I'm after a ring."

She beamed at me. "Would that be an engagement ring?"

"Uh..." Hell, now what? Girls wore engagement rings and then added a wedding ring after the big day. I'd never known a guy to wear an engagement ring before, but wasn't this different? It wasn't like I knew any guys who were married to other guys that I could ask. Then again, we were hardly going to have a long engagement and plan a huge wedding with half the Res in attendance. I didn't think. I wished I'd thought things through more. I wished I knew what Embry really wanted. What if he said _no? _He wouldn't say no, would he?

"Sir?" The girl was eyeing me curiously.

"Sorry. No, I want a pair," I said decidedly. "Of wedding rings." It made more sense to me than getting him some kind of ring that was supposed to be an engagement ring which he would have to wear on a different finger after we got married - _if_ we got married. My palms were sweating and I wiped them on my jeans.

"Oh, well we have a number of matching pairs, you know for the bride and groom."

I sniggered awkwardly. The girls must be thinking I was beyond weird. The other one had wandered over by now and was unlocking the cabinet beneath the counter.

"What's your fiance's name?" she asked.

"Embry."

"Some of these might suit, then." She straightened up with a tray in her hand, containing mainly mens' rings.

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"I don't know many girls named Embry."

"Before that."

"I don't know, a wild guess. My brother's gay, he behaved like he wanted to run for the hills when it came to buying rings."

"You saying I look like I want to run away?" I grinned. She smiled at me.

"I'll leave you to it, Jeanne," the first girl said and made her way to the other counter.

Jeanne showed me a variety of rings and I decided immediately that neither me nor Embry would want yellow gold. He sometimes wore a necklace which was silver and his wristwatch was also silver. I picked white gold and tried on half a dozen different rings on the third finger of my left hand, trying to imagine myself wearing them. Embry's fingers were more slender than mine and I tried slightly smaller ones on my little finger, eventually deciding on a matching pair of brushed satin rings with polished edges. Jeanne placed the two rings in a box which held a pair and in ten minutes I was back at work, the box hidden in my pocket.

I planned to ask him on Sunday and by the time I got home it was all I could think about. We would have the whole day to ourselves which would give me time to do something romantic. I felt silly and embarrassed, but at the same time excited, happy and nervous and a whole bunch of other jumbled up emotions. I kept going over and over what might happen in my head. I was going to take him on a picnic and I would probably neck a few bottles of beer first - Dutch courage. I tried to imagine what I might say; 'Will you marry me?' 'Do you want to get married?' 'Will you be my...?'

"He'll say no," I muttered. "He'll think I'm a jerk. Fuck."

"He won't," I argued with myself a moment later. "I'm his Imprint. Why would he say no? He'll do anything I ask, but maybe he'll only say yes because he thinks it's what I want...urgh!" I punched the bathroom wall none too gently and dented the tiles. Luckily Embry was working late for once, but I was still going to have to explain what happened to the tiles.

When Embry came home, the first thing he did was kiss me as usual, then he went to the bathroom. When he came out he had a puzzled frown on his face.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why?" I said. Shit, he saw the tiles.

"It looks like you punched the wall."

"It's nothing, just a tense day, that's all." I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss. "I'll get someone in to fix it next week."

"Quil can do tiling, I'll ask him," Embry said. That was all - he didn't question me any more and I relaxed marginally although I was still nervous as hell about Sunday. All I could think about was what I would do if he said no. Feel like a complete dick, that's what.

I continued arguing with myself until early Sunday morning, by which time I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to go ahead with what I planned and if he didn't like the idea, I would deal with it at the time. I made the excuse that I had to see Sam about something first thing in the morning and left him showering while I drove over to Sam's to collect the picnic Emily was making up for me.

"You big softie," she teased as she handed me a basket. "Embry's so lucky." She eyed Sam at this point and frowned and he grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Yeah, well let's hope he likes it," I said.

"You think Embry won't like my cooking? Don't be so cheeky!" Emily teased.

"I think he means the romantic gesture," Sam said.

"I didn't think you knew what one of those was," I smirked and made my exit quickly. I put the basket in the truck and peeked inside before I drove off. Fried chicken, ham and egg pie, potato salad, strawberries and chocolate muffins all in large quantities and several bottles of beer. Emily made a mean picnic. Shame I had absolutely no appetite.

When I got back to the house, Embry was wandering about wearing jeans and looking for a shirt, his upper half still damp from the shower. I licked my lips and made an effort to quell my immediate desire to grab him and drag him back to bed. I was never going to get tired of looking at him, touching him, making love to him...

"Paul, your tongue's hanging out," Embry grinned. "Do I seriously look that good?"

"You have no idea. Put a shirt on."

"Spoilsport." He pulled a face and rummaged through the pile of laundry awaiting ironing. It was a task both of us hated and consequently we often went out in wrinkled shirts. He took out a red checkered shirt and put it on, tucking it into his jeans and rolling the sleeves up. Reluctantly I left him to it and went into the bedroom to grab the ring box which I had hidden inside a sock at the back of my underwear drawer. I grabbed the lube too, just in case, and a rug.

"Are we going somewhere?" Embry asked when I joined him again, the rug under my arm.

"Yes, I'm taking you out, I don't do it enough," I said.

Embry beamed. "Where are we going?"

"Just a picnic."

_"Just_ a picnic?" He smiled wider and his eyes sparkled. "That's pretty romantic."

"Pretty romantic for me, you mean," I grinned. "You can pick the place."

"How about the beach?" Embry suggested at once. "That spot where we first...got together."

I wished I'd thought of that myself; it was perfect. Although it was only a ten minute walk, we took the truck rather than lug the large picnic basket and rug all the way down there and when we reached the sand, we found the area deserted. It was a cool windy day and most people avoided the La Push beach when it was like this. With our temperatures, of course it never affected us.

I spread the rug out in almost exactly the same place as I had before and placed the picnic basket on one corner. We sprawled in the middle, talking and cuddling for a while, watching the waves crashing onto the rocks close by. My heart was pounding unevenly with nerves and I wondered how I was ever going to eat anything. When we opened the basket a little later and got the food out, I had to force down every bite of Emily's delicious meal and it wasn't long before Embry noticed I was struggling to eat and gulping beer as if it was going out of fashion.

"Paul, what's wrong? Are you worried about something?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine," I said.

"You're not, you're jumpy as hell."

For a moment I was filled with panic and tempted to forget the whole idea; just laugh it off and say there was nothing wrong; pounce on him to distract him. 'Get on with it; stop being such a dick,' I told myself.

"Well, I've had something on my mind," I said.

"What is it? Can I help?" Embry said at once.

"Sshh." I pulled him towards me and brushed my lips against his. "I want to say something to you." I put my beer down and took hold of his hands instead. "I hope you know how much you mean to me. I know I've hurt you, more than once, and you put up with it because you Imprinted. I hate that I did that to you, but I won't ever let you down again. You're my life, Em, and I love you with all my heart. So what I want to know is..." I paused and licked my lips. "...will you marry me?"

His eyes widened and he breathed in suddenly and then didn't move for several long seconds. My heart sank and I cursed myself inwardly. Damnit, I should have listened to the part of me that said it would be a mistake. Rather than sit there in silence and die of embarrassment, I began to babble.

"It was just an idea, you know, if it's a stupid one you can say no, I just thought..."

"Oh, Paul..." Embry interrupted, pulling his hands out of mine and wrapping his arms around my neck instead. "Will you hush and let me talk now I've got my breath?"

He had tears in his eyes, I noticed and I waited for him to continue and say gently that we should leave things as they were.

"I never imagined you would want to get married, not to me, anyway," he said softly. "I always hoped, even when we weren't together I dreamed that one day you would want me like you do now. You're my life too and I cannot wait to marry you." A tear spilled over, but he was beaming from ear to ear at the same time.

"You're serious," I gaped. "You said yes."

"Of course I said yes, did you think I'd turn you down?" he grinned. "Jerk."

"Yeah, I am, I've been stressing about it for the last couple of weeks," I admitted.

"Aww." Embry's lips touched mine. "I love you."

"I love you too." I reached out towards my leather jacket which lay on the rug and slid my hand into the inside pocket to find the ring box. I pulled it out and popped it open with my thumb. "Wedding rings," I said needlessly. "I hope yours fits ok."

I didn't think Embry's smile could have gotten any wider, but somehow it did as he took the smaller ring and tried it on for size. It was perfect and he loved the design, much to my relief.

"I don't want to take it off now," he sighed.

"Well, you'll have to until it's official, give it back," I said sternly. He took the ring off reluctantly and I put the box away again, then pushed the picnic basket out of the way and drew him down onto the rug. "Still no sign of anyone around," I grinned.

"Thank God for that. Please tell me you brought lube with you," Embry said.

"Why would I do that?" I teased.

"Because I suppose you thought if I said yes you'd want to celebrate by fucking me senseless and if I said no...well, I guess I'd have to entice you into fucking me senseless to make up for it."

I reached into my jacket again and grabbed the lube, but I didn't fuck him senseless - I made love to him slowly and gently before we cleaned ourselves up the best we could with the paper napkins from the picnic, gathered everything together and headed for home.

Once inside, the first thing we did was take a shower. I was still horny and I got under the hot spray and scrubbed myself vigorously, my cock throbbing and standing upright as I waited for Embry to join me. I couldn't stop myself from grasping my erection and stroking it slowly, impatiently, wondering what was taking him so long. I was half turned away from the shower door and I leaned my forehead against the tiled wall, rubbing myself more firmly and thinking about what we could do to each other when we got out of here and into bed - if we made it that far.

At last Embry stepped into the shower and slid his arms around me from behind, pushing my hand off my cock and curling his fingers around it instead.

"Couldn't you wait?" He pressed himself against me and I felt his erection against my butt. I groaned at both the feel of it and his hand on me. He cupped my balls in his other hand, squeezing gently, thrusting himself against me from behind.

"Do you want to?" I murmured, biting my lip as his thumb rubbed over the head of my cock. God, it was barely a half hour since I came and I was aching for more.

"Do I want to what?" Embry said.

"Fuck me."

"Uh...do you want me to?"

What the hell did I just say? Did I really want to get fucked in the ass, I wondered? Hell, no. Well, maybe. Who knew? I guessed I would let him if it was what he wanted. It was only fair and at that point, the way he was driving me crazy with his hands, I doubted I would have complained about anything.

"I asked first," I panted.

"No," he said. "I like you dominating me."

"Oh, you do?" I pushed his hands off of me now and turned around, sliding my arms around his waist and holding him so that our erections pressed together.

"Uh huh." He lowered his lashes and peeked up through them in that cute shy way he had that hadn't lessened any in the time we had been together.

"Let's get out of here and go to bed." I let him go and turned the water off quickly. Embry moved away from me and picked up a towel and within minutes we were at least mostly dry and hurrying to our room. I threw myself into the middle of the bed, pulled Embry down against me, then rolled him over onto his back, my body coming to rest on top of him, my elbows either side of his head taking my weight. His legs slid apart under me at once and I felt his cock throbbing against my stomach.

To my surprise curiosity continued to prick at me and I wondered what it felt like for him when I was fucking him. He was so hot and tight and his muscles would pull at me with every thrust. When I was balls deep inside him, he could make me come just by squeezing without me even having to move and he was missing out on that. If I didn't like it I wouldn't have to do it again, but no harm in trying and it was a special day after all.

"You sure you don't want to try it?" I grinned, grinding myself against him. He sucked his breath in through his teeth and slid his hands down to my butt, holding me tight there, my cock pulsing, the base of it resting against the softness of his balls and the tip quivering alongside his shaft. I was so hard it almost hurt and I was desperate for release.

"Are you serious, Paul?"

"Uh...yeah..." I groaned.

"Ok, see how you feel about this..."

He took one hand off of my butt and brought his fingers to his mouth, moistening them with saliva. When he reached down again I felt a finger press between my cheeks, feeling for the tight hole there, stroking back and forth over it. I slid my legs apart as far as his thighs either side of me would allow and dropped my face forward into his neck. That was way more sensitive than I would have expected and I shuddered.

"Oh, God..." I breathed.

Embry chuckled and brushed his lips against my ear.

"Pass me the lube," he whispered.

I propped myself up and reached out to grab it from the bed table. Embry took his hands off me, pushed me up a little further and squeezed a generous quantity of the slick cool liquid into his hand, then reached down and began to coat my cock in it. It was unexpected and I thrust myself harder into his hand.

"Fuck," I groaned.

Embry let out another soft laugh and shifted his position slightly, pulling his knees up higher and guiding me down to his entrance.

"What are you doing?" I murmured.

"You don't know by now?" he teased, pushing his hips up and almost sucking me into his hot tightness. "Just stay still and relax."

"Jesus," I said through my teeth. However many times we did this, I was never going to get used to how amazing it felt. I lay shivering, my cock buried deep inside him, every inch of it gripped tight, as he grabbed the lube again, applied more to his hand and returned his fingers to my ass. The tip of one digit, slick and slippery, circled my hole slowly and I bit my lip, not knowing whether to concentrate on the sensations running through my cock from the way he was squeezing me, or the fact that the tip of his finger was pressing gently against me, seeking access to the part of me I'd never thought I would let anyone near. I forced myself to relax and his slender forefinger slid in about an inch, then stayed still.

"Shit," I gasped.

"Shall I stop?"

"Fuck, Em..._no_," I heard myself hiss.

"You like that?" he whispered.

His finger slid deeper, as far in as he could reach and I was surprised by how good it felt. My response to his question was something like a whine and I bit my lip as he laughed softly again. He began withdrawing his finger and I was almost disappointed until it slid back in and I imitated the movement with my cock, pulling back and shoving it harder into him until his head rolled back and he groaned. Hell, the way things were going I wouldn't last very long and when he added a second finger, stretching me and causing a little discomfort, it only served to drive me closer to orgasm. When I came and felt him lose it at the same time, spurting onto my stomach, I was shaking and sweating and I still wanted more.

I slid off Embry and lay facing him, holding each other loosely as we panted for breath, our bodies slick with sweat and our cocks still semi-hard. Being a wolf had its advantages, I thought. From what I had heard, regular humans took much longer to be ready for more. I grinned to myself and stroked my hand over Embry's chest, feeling his heartbeat, still rapid, trailed my fingers over his stomach and felt the muscles jump. His cock bumped my wrist and I captured it in my hand.

"Still want more?" I murmured.

"Yeah, do you?"

"I'm thinking about it." I took my hand off him and squeezed more lube into it, lathering it onto him and rubbing him slowly.

"Shit, Paul, don't think about it too long," he groaned.

"I want you to fuck me," I whispered.

"Are you sure?" Embry's eyes opened and met mine.

"Yeah, I'm sure." After the way he touched me I had gone very rapidly from thinking I would do it to please him, to longing to see what it felt like. "I want your cock in me," I added.

"You might not like it."

"I liked what you did already. If I don't like it, I just won't do it again."

"Fuck." Embry giggled nervously. "Well, I've never done it either."

"I know. That's why I want you to." I stopped talking and kissed him instead, sliding onto my back, my heart banging against my ribs.

He didn't rush things, using lube-coated fingers for several minutes, stretching me and tormenting me as my cock quivered, untouched, against my stomach. By the time he withdrew his fingers and slid onto me I was on the point of begging him to get on with it. He guided himself hesitantly, the head of his cock seeming a hell of a lot bigger than his fingers. It pushed against me and eventually slid in slowly. I was holding my breath and I forced myself to relax and breathe when Embry stopped moving and met my eyes.

"Shall I stop?"

"No," I whispered.

I put my arms around him, resting my hands on his butt. He slid deeper into me and I shivered. It felt impossibly tight, but not as uncomfortable as I expected and my cock wasn't complaining about being rubbed between our stomachs. He drew back and thrust forward again, bumping something which I guessed was my prostate.

_"Fuck!"_ I hissed.

Embry's response was a deep groan. I squeezed his butt with one hand, running the other up his back, his skin slippery with the sweat which beaded along his spine. I began to move with him, grinding my teeth together to keep myself quiet for a minute and then giving up with a loud moan. I was so close and he kept on moving tantalisingly slowly, no doubt wanting to make sure he didn't hurt me.

"Em," I panted.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, his face flushing slightly.

"Fuck me," I said. "Hard."

He kept his eyes on mine as he pulled back and thrust harder into me, pinning me to the mattress. He continued, harder and faster, bringing us both to a rapid finish. I held onto him, feeling him spurting into me as I came, his hot breath on my neck, skin slithering wetly against skin and I sank my teeth into his shoulder, tasting salt. He slid out of me, but stayed where he was, panting in my ear.

"God, Paul," he gasped. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I manoeuvred him onto his side next to me, my arms still tight around him. My heart was pounding so hard it felt as if it may burst out of my chest and I knew that what we had just done wouldn't be a one-off.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I slept like the dead that night, my arms around Embry as usual, his back to me and my face pressed into his hair. When I woke he was gone from the bed, but I could smell coffee brewing and toast burning. I sat up, scrubbing my hands over my face and yawning.

_"Em!"_ I bellowed. "Where are you? Something's on fire!"

He appeared, laughing, moments later, wearing a pair of my shorts which looked as if they were about to fall down over his slim hips and carrying two mugs of coffee in one hand and a large plate piled with toast in the other.

"I forgot about it," he grinned. "Had to make fresh." He sat down on the bed next to me and passed me one of the coffee mugs. "I guess I was thinking about something else."

"Oh, yeah? What?" I sipped the coffee and peered at him over the rim of the mug.

"Oh, I don't know, nothing important, only us getting married." He grinned wider. "I wish we didn't have to work, I want to stay home and plan."

I groaned. "Plan what? All we need to do is pick a day, choose a place and invite people."

"Hell, Paul, there's way more to it than that!" Embry exclaimed.

"Why? You don't want a dress, do you?" I teased.

"Jerk."

"You might look cute in white, you know, with a veil and everything," I added, grabbing a piece of toast.

"I'd look gay," Embry said and stuck his tongue out, then frowned. "We still have to tell my Mom."

"She might be pleased I'm making an honest man of you," I smirked. "Maybe we should go see her tonight and get it over with."

"Yeah, better tell her first, I don't want her to hear it from anyone else," he said.

We went to see Tiffany after dinner than evening. She seemed pleased to see us until Embry said we intended to get married and then she was rendered speechless. Her mouth fell open, her face flushed and she glanced briefly from Embry to me and back again.

"You're serious," she said.

"Of course we're serious, Mom, don't start this again," Embry sighed.

"I haven't said anything yet," she said. "I was just surprised, that's all. Is it even possible? I mean from a legal point of view."

"Yes, Mom, don't you ever watch the news or read anything?" Embry grinned.

"Not often, it's too full of horror stories. As I said, it's a surprise, but it's obvious to me that you're happy together and that's all I want for you, Embry, so you have my blessing."

"Awesome!" Embry cried and got up quickly to go and give Tiffany a hug. It was my turn to be surprised, and even more so when she looked at me and smirked slightly.

"You had better not mess with him, Paul, I'd be quite capable of shooting a bad wolf if it came to it."

"No, Ma'am," I smiled.

We stayed perhaps an hour before heading for home. We had walked over and we strolled down the street holding hands, me still surprised that Tiffany had been so quick to accept us getting married, even to the point of teasing us.

"Where do you think we should do it?" Embry wondered as we walked. He meant get married, obviously.

"There's some trees over there if you can't wait ten minutes to get home," I chuckled. He punched me in the arm.

"Is that all you ever think about?" he snorted.

"Don't try and kid me you're not as bad." I pulled my hand free of his and wrapped my arm around him instead.

"Maybe we should head for those trees after all," he said and then slowed his pace and elbowed me. "Or maybe not. Look who it is."

I turned my head and spotted Jacob and Seth walking towards us hand in hand.

"Hey, guys!" I exclaimed. They crossed the street to our side at once.

"You look pretty pleased with yourselves; what have you been up to?" asked Seth.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you," I said and looked at Embry. "Shall we tell them?"

"I suppose we better, or they'll be surprised when they get an invite," Embry smiled, blushing slightly.

"Invite to what?" Jacob asked.

"We're getting married," said Embry, beaming from ear to ear.

"Are you serious? Wow! Awesome!" exclaimed Seth, launching himself at Embry suddenly to give him a hug. "When?"

"That's great, I'm pleased for you," Jake added, looking surprised.

"We didn't discuss a date yet, only just told the parents," I put in.

Seth backed off a step and glanced at me.

"You can hug me too if you want, I don't bite," I laughed.

He gave me a quick hug and then returned to Jacob's side and Embry proceeded to tell them how I took him on a picnic and proposed while I found an incredibly interesting pebble on the ground to poke at with the toe of my boot. My face grew warm as I thought that in no time the whole Reservation would probably know that Paul Lahote had gone soft and romantic.

Seth appeared to hang off every word that came out of Embry's mouth and when I did look up after a few seconds, I didn't miss the shy glances at Jacob and hint of colour in his cheeks. He was dreaming about marrying Jake; anybody with partial eyesight could have seen it and I wondered if Jake himself did. When we left them, I repeated Embry's earlier question.

"So where do you want to do it, then? And when?"

"Sooner the better," Embry grinned. "New Year's Day. Starting married life together on the first day of the year would be pretty cool."

"Don't you ever call me soft again," I teased. "How about we do it on the beach? Where we usually...do it?"

"I was thinking that. It's perfect," he said at once.

We went on to discuss who might actually marry us. Often marriages within the tribe would be presided over by one of the elders, Billy more often than not.

"You think he'd really want to marry two guys?" I pondered. "It might be against his beliefs or something."

"Somehow I think he'd make an exception whatever his views are, otherwise he'll be basically telling everyone that he wouldn't accept Jake marrying Seth if it came to it."

"Yeah, you got a point. We should go see him now, while those two are out," I said, jerking my head back in the direction Jake and Seth had gone.

We found Billy alone eating a meal Jacob and Seth had made for him before they went out. He shouted for us to let ourselves in and take some beers out of the refrigerator on our way through to the lounge. Embry grabbed three and opened them, passing one to Billy as we went in and sat down. We share smalltalk for a few minutes while he put his tray aside and drank a little and then he asked us the point of our visit.

Embry had been right in what he said. Billy hemmed and hawed and frowned a touch, but quickly smiled and said he would be happy to marry us.

"I guess you never married two guys before," I smirked.

"No, but there's a first time for everything. I don't have a problem with it and if I did I think Jacob would have plenty to say. I'm only guessing, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's heading that way too with young Seth."

"We just told them actually," Embry said. "Seth looked like he'd be pretty quick to say yes if he was asked."

"I must admit, it took me a little while to get used to Jacob being with him," Billy said. "Only because I always forget Seth is a man now, I picture him twelve years old and following Jacob around like a puppy."

"Yeah, he did used to do that," I grinned, remembering the day before the pack even formed. Seth would hang out with the older guys all the time and hero-worship Jacob. When the pack formed he literally became a devoted puppy and it crossed my mind for the first time that he must have been crushed when Jacob first fell for Bella and then went on to Imprint on Renesmee.

We stayed talking to Billy until we finished the beers and then headed for home, one task completed. It was mere weeks away and with Christmas in the middle, there was little time to organise. I still maintained there was nothing much to do until Embry began writing out a list of arrangements; people to invite, bestman and matron of honour to find - easy that one, Dad and Tiffany - suits, food, cake, a car, photographer...

"What the fuck?" I grumbled. "Em, can't we just elope somewhere?"

"If you want," he grinned. "Then we'd need to book flights, a hotel, get a special licence, pay for my Mom's flight because she can't afford it right now, make sure the hotel can provide a cake because we can't take it on the plane..."

"Shit, give me that list," I laughed. "We'll do it here." I called Sam and Emily, invited them over the phone and asked Emily to provide a buffet and a cake, then called my Dad and asked him to be bestman. He immediately said he and Charlie would arrange a car and suggested Embry meet up with us in Forks on Friday night to look for suits. Then I called Quil, invited him, his Mom and Gramps and asked if his Mom would do the photographs since she worked for an event photographer.

I put my phone down a half hour later, amused that Embry was still gossiping to Jared and hadn't done anything else.

"You talk like that to everyone, you won't get a thing organised, we'll have to put it off until the summer," I smirked.

"Shut up, you're so smart," Embry sighed.

By the time we went to bed, he was in a state of nervousness, despite just about everything we could think of already having been done. We didn't need a church or a reception venue, the party afterwards was intended to be in our own house since we were inviting less than thirty people, all of them had been told and everyone said yes straight away and that we shouldn't waste our time issuing proper invites. I already had the rings, we were getting the suits at the end of the week and everything else was arranged.

"See, that wasn't so tough, was it?" I grinned, picking up my phone as it bleeped with a text message. It was from Seth.

'Don't forget to arrange a honeymoon, Mr Romantic.'

"Fuck," I muttered.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I put the phone down again. "Just something I need to remember to do tomorrow."

Would Embry really want a honeymoon, I wondered. It hadn't occurred to me, but I guessed a lot of people had them. It was just a vacation really, something I hadn't had since I was a kid. As far as I knew, Embry hadn't either. It might be cool to take off somewhere for a couple weeks, just the two of us - somewhere _dry_.

I lay awake for a while thinking about possible destinations and the minute Embry was out of the door to work in the morning, I began hunting through his things. I didn't know if he had a passport, so booking a trip outside the States would be pretty stupid until I knew for sure. I found one in a drawer he kept his medical insurance policy and other paperwork in. It was six years old and the picture showed him with a thinner face and masses of hair. I grinned, remembering that first time I had saved him from bullies. He had finished up in my arms with my hand in his hair, marvelling that it felt like silk and almost reached his butt. He had cut it off when he phased of course, but it was back to being past his shoulders now.

I put the passport back where it belonged and grabbed my laptop. Where could we go that would be warm and dry in January? Preferably with a beach and no cellphone coverage. I idly searched through some travel websites, looking at various options. Australia - too fucking far away. Europe - too damned cold and wet. The Caribbean - better. Barbados looked pretty appealing, I thought. Small, only fourteen miles from top to bottom, beautiful beaches, water sports, helicopter tours, a choice of great hotels or private villas. A villa would probably be best; Embry was pretty loud when I teased him with my tongue and louder still when I fucked him from behind; we called it wolf-style.

I snorted and opened up the page where you could choose accommodation and flights. A package including flights, transfers and villa for two weeks from January 2nd - eighteen hundred bucks.

"Holy shit," I muttered. "Don't be so cheap, Paul," I added. I remembered Embry saying the exact same thing when I complained he spent two hundred dollars on wine glasses for Leah and Mark.

I hesitated for another moment and then thought, what the hell, and clicked on the 'book now' button. Embry would love it, right? A honeymoon he wasn't expecting, two weeks in a private villa on an island alone with me. I chortled to myself and began typing in our names, dates of births and other details required for booking the trip, then dug out my credit card, scowling at the total which included booking fees and various other little hidden extras they don't tell you about on the first page, bringing the total to over two grand. Well, you only got married once. It was sure as hell only going to happen once for me.

Five minutes later I received the email confirming everything and rather than print out details and have to hide them, I saved the message for our wedding day. I would print the stuff when we had kicked the guests out and surprise Embry with it.

I wasn't the best at keeping secrets, least of all my own, but somehow I didn't breathe a word of the honeymoon to a soul, except for Seth who pestered me the minute he could get me alone, since I hadn't responded to his text. I told him to keep it zipped and he agreed, providing I told him the location and promised to send him and Jake a postcard.

"You think he'll want to marry me one day?" he asked, his cheeks flushing.

"I don't know, do I?" I grunted.

"He hasn't said _anything?_ Not even to Embry?"

"No."

Seth's face fell and I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for the kid. Hell, he was almost twenty-one and I still thought of him as a kid, just like Billy did.

"All I can tell you is that Billy said he's just hazarding a guess, but he wouldn't be surprised if Jake is heading the same way I did," I blurted. "Don't fucking say anything."

Seth's face lit up again at once. "I won't," he grinned. "Don't forget the postcard."

Somehow the next few weeks flew by and with them, Christmas. Charlie spent a few days at Dad's house and cooked Christmas dinner for him and Embry and me. The day after we spent with Tiffany and then Christmas was quickly forgotten and replaced with a whole load of wedding jitters. Oddly enough, they didn't affect me. I knew I was going to turn up at the appointed spot with Dad on time and swap rings with Embry, then whisk him off the next day to Barbados and the rest of our lives together. I was excited if anything and certainly not nervous.

Embry was jumpy as hell, worrying we forgot to invite someone, we forgot to arrange something, it would rain, his Mom and my Dad would fight and ruin the party, the photographs wouldn't turn out, I would get so drunk at the party the night before that I wouldn't show up and would be found later tied to a tree in the forest stark naked.

"No fucker is going to tie me to a tree if they value their balls," I grunted on the morning of the day before. I wrapped my arms around Embry and cuddled him. "Anyway, you'll be there to stop them. Will you stop worrying about everything? If it rains we'll get wet. If anyone fights with anyone else, Sam will send them packing. So long as we get to say 'I do' and sign the papers, isn't that the important thing?"

"Yeah, you're right, of course you are." He smiled and relaxed.

"I'm always right."

"Yeah, now you're going too far. What are we going to do about our names? We didn't talk about that yet."

"Well, either you take mine, or I'll take yours or we'll just combine the two and have a horrible double-barrelled mouthful that no one can be bothered to say," I grinned.

"You'd take my name? Seriously?" Embry said in surprise.

"If you want."

"I don't, I was just asking. Would you really want to tell anyone your name is Paul Call? They'd fall about laughing."

I grinned. "Yeah, I guess. Lahote-Call?"

Embry shook his head. "Embry Lahote. Embry Edgar Lahote."

"Your middle name's Edgar?" I giggled. "You never told me that! It's not even on your...!" I managed to stop myself just before I said the word 'passport'.

"On my what?"

"I don't know, on anything, I've never seen it written. You know your initials are going to spell 'eel' if you take my name."

He laughed and luckily overlooked the fact that I had obviously stopped myself from saying something. At the same time he seemed to get over his worries. We spent the rest of the day together, then Dad came over and we all went to Sam's for our buck's party. Emily had prepared a stack of food and then gone to spend the night with Kim. Since we shared the same friends, we couldn't very well have separate parties and the evening was spent drinking, eating, playing stupid games and listening to everyone tell embarrassing stories about us. Most of us slept in sleeping bags on Sam's lounge floor rather than attempt to get home in the middle of the night, although Embry and I were given the guest room. Em was much more the worse for wear than me and I had to carry him to bed after he passed out in the bathroom.

We were woken much too early to be reasonable by the noisy arrival of Emily, Kim and Quil's Mom, stomping into the house laughing loudly. Embry groaned and pulled a pillow on top of his head.

"My head hurts."

"Serve you right, you drank more than anybody here," I teased. My own head was pounding, but I was loath to admit it. Instead I hauled myself up, dragged on some jeans and went in search of coffee. Emily already had a pot going, plus the kettle boiling and was scooping coffee into a dozen mugs. Mrs Ateara and Kim were starting on a huge supply of bacon, sausage, eggs and whatever else they had brought and my nose quickly began to twitch. I took Embry his coffee, took a shower before anyone else could get in there and then grabbed food.

Embry didn't eat, saying the smell of cooking was making him want to throw up and I had my food quickly and then took him home. After more coffee, plenty of water and a long shower, he was feeling better and even ate a sandwich while I got out our suits and printed off the travel documents, tucking them in the inner pocket of the suit jacket. I couldn't wait to see his face when I brought them out.

For once there was not a cloud in the sky - unusual for the first day of the year. It was cold and everyone appeared on the beach with heavy coats over their wedding outfits, except for the pack of course, all of us being comfortable in our shirts and suits. Some wooden sheeting had been arranged on the sand in the exact spot Embry and I had indicated, providing a place for Billy to park his chair with us standing before him and an area for all the guests to stand and observe so they wouldn't sink into the sand. Dad and I went to wait with Billy while Embry and his Mom got themselves ready and headed towards us. It was only then when I watched him coming towards me, a big smile on his face and the wind tugging strands of hair out of his ponytail that I felt nervous and a jumble of thoughts raced through my mind.

Was I really about to give Embry a wedding ring and accept his in return; give him my name and the rest of my life? Everything had happened so fast. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since I came back to La Push, but in reality it was just a few short months. Was I rushing things too much? Was I sure this was what I wanted? I had never thought I would ever get married. I had only bought a ring for Rachel because she had been my Imprint so I was programmed to spend my life making her happy. Did I really want to be married to anyone? Even the man I loved? Was signing away my whole life to him really the right thing to do? Maybe it would be better to wait, live together for a year or so, take things slower.

'Don't be stupid, Paul,' I told myself. I loved Embry - I did, with my whole heart. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy, so why was I having doubts now? Why did the prospect of Billy tying us to each other suddenly fill me with panic?

My heart hammered and my mouth went dry. I knew my face must have given away my sudden confusion because as Embry walked towards me with his arm tucked through Tiffany's, the smile gradually slipped from his face and his teeth sank into his lip. His dark eyes began to look worried and his steps slowed as if he thought delaying his arrival at my side would make things better. Even slowing, there were only a few yards to go before he reached me and Tiffany let go of him and stepped away. I turned to face him and looked into his eyes, my stomach in a knot, my heart racing, palms sweaty and I licked my dry lips. I had to tell him what I was feeling.

"Em..."


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you to everyone for your great reviews throughout the story and also to everyone who saved it as a favourite, or simply read and enjoyed. This is the final chapter so I hope you like the conclusion :o)**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Embry's brown eyes widened and I could see he was holding his breath. The momentary panic left me and I remembered Dad telling me this was normal. He had almost made a run for it from the altar when he waited for Mom to join him and it was pretty usual to at least have some doubts or nerves. Typical for mine to wait until the last possible minute to bother me. Now I looked at him, how beautiful he was, his face beginning to look worried as he waited for me to speak and I thought about how much he meant to me. I didn't want to spend even one day of my life without him in it and putting a ring on his finger to seal that was only going to make our life together more special.

"I love you so much," I whispered, taking his hand. The smile returned to his face in an instant and he squeezed my hand tightly.

"I'm still nervous," he whispered back.

"Don't be." I leaned in and brushed my lips against his ear. "I have a surprise for you later."

"Oh?"

"Sshh," I added, as Billy cleared his throat to get our attention. I stepped back slightly, but kept hold of Embry's hand. Suddenly I was grinning stupidly and as hard as I tried to straighten my face, I couldn't do it.

Billy began a more or less traditional Quileute wedding ceremony with just a few changes to it to account for the fact that he was marrying two men. Dad had given him the ring box and I did my best to listen attentively to what he was saying, while every fibre of me just wanted to grab Embry and hold onto him. The knot had left my stomach although my heart continued to pound, with excitement now, as Billy opened the box and invited me to take the smaller ring and repeat my vows to Embry as I slid it onto his finger. I didn't miss the tears filling his eyes as I spoke and I was surprised when I had to clear my throat to rid it of the lump there before I could say the last few words.

Then it was Embry's turn to take the larger ring. He slid it slowly onto my finger while repeating his words after Billy, his voice shaking slightly and when the ring was in place, he slid his hand into mine and held on tight. I could hear sniffing from somewhere behind me and when we turned around moments later as husbands, I noticed Tiffany and Charlie both dabbing their eyes with tissues.

Quil's Mom began to organise everyone for photographs then and we posed for an endless number of shots. I hated being photographed, but nothing was going to make me spoil the day for Embry and I stood where I was told with a smile on my face for almost an hour before we were done and then we were heading home for the party. Dad and Charlie had arranged a Hummer for a wedding car with 'just married' foam-painted on the back and some jokers - probably Jacob and Seth, going by the guilty smirks on their faces - had tied blown up condoms to the fenders, wing mirrors and anything else they could find to attach a string too. Embry flushed scarlet and I just grinned and whispered that since they wasted so many it was a good thing we didn't use them.

Emily, Kim and Leah all set off ahead of us in the Clearwaters' MPV which was filled with all the food that had been prepared and by the time we got home it was all laid out on the table for people to help themselves. Emily had made a cake too, a double tiered one which sat on a small table by itself and even I was impressed with the fancy lettering she had put on it and the two happy looking grey model wolves in the middle.

Of course there were speeches - Dad embarrassed the hell out of me just as I expected and then I embarrassed the hell out of myself by gulping champagne and standing up to proclaim to everyone how Embry was my life and his Imprint had changed everything for me and a whole lot of other stuff that made me blush when I thought about it later. Mrs Ateara kept on snapping away through the toasts and cake cutting and then Quil put some music on and finally the formal part of everything was done. Embry and I tore off our ties and jackets immediately and went to put them in our bedroom so we could relax.

"So what's this surprise?" Embry asked me. "Are you going to tell me now?"

I grinned at him. "I'd almost forgotten." I picked my jacket up again and stuck my hand into the inner pocket to retrieve the pages I had printed out. "A honeymoon is supposed to come after the wedding, right?"

Embry's mouth fell open. "We're having a honeymoon?"

"Uh huh." I gave the papers to him and grinned as he unfolded them.

"Barbados! Wow! Shit, Paul, you need to stop pretending you don't know the meaning of the word 'romance'," he beamed, throwing his arms around my neck. "Thank you. When did you arrange this?"

"About a month ago." I hugged him back. "I had to go through all your stuff to make sure you had a passport first. You know when we were talking about our names? I almost said that it didn't have your middle name on your passport."

Embry laughed. "You saw the horrible picture of me then."

"It's a great picture," I said. "It reminded me of that day you were getting beat up and I helped you out. You threw yourself into my arms and I didn't have the first clue what to do about it. I almost shoved you off of me. Scared the hell out of me that I actually liked the feel of you that close." I brushed my lips against his. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Guys!" Quil's voice came through the door and his fist hammered on it. "At least wait until your guests leave to consummate it!"

Embry's face flamed and he stepped away from me. "Oh my God, I can just imagine what my Mom is thinking right now."

"We live together, Em, I don't suppose she thinks we have separate rooms," I grinned. "Come on, better get out there." I pulled the door open. "Fuck off, Quil, I was only giving Embry a wedding present."

"Yeah, I bet you were," he smirked.

"He booked a surprise honeymoon!" Embry exclaimed, stepping past me. Several people turned to look at him and it was my turn to redden a touch when a few jaws dropped. No one knew except for Seth, I hadn't even told Dad, only that I would be a taking a couple weeks off work to be with Embry after the wedding. Seth was now grinning and he winked and gave me a thumbs up. Jacob eyed him curiously.

"Did he know?" Embry asked me.

"Yeah, do you remember that day we did all the organising and we went to bed and I got a text? It was Seth telling me not to forget a honeymoon."

Embry smirked. "So you had help?"

"Not really, only the reminder."

"You know, I'm not sure I can spare Embry from work at such short notice," Jacob said. "You might have asked me, Paul, if you were going to spring a surprise like that."

"Jake, don't be so mean," Seth said at once, elbowing him.

"I'm joking." Jacob wrapped an arm around him and grinned. "Where are you going?"

"Barbados!" Embry exclaimed. "How cool is that? We're staying in a villa!"

I left them to it and mingled for a while, telling Dad and Charlie about the trip and then Tiffany who actually came over while I was with them and managed to speak to Dad without looking like she wanted to slap him. The party went on for a few hours until the food was gone and the alcohol was running low. I avoided drinking too much and so did Embry, I noticed. The last thing we wanted to do on our wedding night was fall into bed drunk and wake up hungover when we had a noon flight to the Caribbean to catch. Everyone had sampled the cake and Emily cut extra pieces for them all to take home. Finally by late evening they were all gone and we were alone - our first night as a married couple.

Much as I was tempted to tear Embry's clothes off of him and pound him into the mattress, I took my time and made love to him slowly and gently instead and afterwards he did the same to me. I was really getting to like the feel of him in me and was glad I had asked him to give it a try. Every time he hit that sweet spot inside me it would turn me to jelly and make me whimper like a puppy and I loved the fact that he was getting so much more out of our sex life now.

We rose early the next morning, still sleepy but having limited time to get out of the house and drive to Seattle to catch our flight and the house looked as if a bomb had hit it with the remains of the party everywhere. To our intense surprise, just as we had finished stuffing two cases full of clothes and gathering hand luggage together, Tiffany and Charlie turned up - together.

"Mom!" Embry exclaimed as he opened the door. "Charlie?"

"Hey, Charlie," I added and nodded at my new mother-in-law. "Surprised to see you here...together."

"Figured you would want some help cleaning up, you'll need to get to the airport," Charlie said. "Turns out Tiff and I have a tonne in common."

Tiff? They must have gotten pretty friendly in a short space of time, I thought, which could only be a good thing. It had been pretty awkward trying to avoid having Tiffany and Dad at our house at the same time, but they seemed to have moved on from their differences.

Now Embry and I lugged the cases out to the truck, checked for the hundredth time that we had passports and the printed booking documents and then set off. We left the truck in the airport long-stay parking lot and checked in. The noon flight was on time and although we had a connection in Miami to deal with, the twelve-hour trip went smoothly and our transfer car was waiting for us as we emerged from the terminal in Bridgetown around four in the morning local time. We dozed in the back of the car on the short trip up the west coast to our villa and then crashed out for a few more hours, barely taking in our surroundings until we woke again in the late morning.

The villa was great and the location beautiful I thought smugly when I took a look around, still naked as I explored. The accommodation itself had two bedrooms with en suites, a large open plan lounge and dining room with a kitchen off to one side and behind the house was a pool and hot tub. From the front you could see a private beach and sparkling turquoise water just yards away.

I realised we hadn't brought or picked up any supplies and hoped I would at least find coffee in the kitchen, but when I checked it out I was delighted to find the refrigerator well stocked with essentials - milk, cheeses, bread, eggs and fruit and a note attached to the door with a magnet sporting the Barbadian flag, advising that a housekeeper would visit every day between 5 and 6pm to clean and bring fresh towels. If we weren't around and wanted supplies bringing the next day, we could leave a list and it would be charged to my credit card at the end of the trip.

"Awesome," I said to myself and turned on the coffee machine. Embry was still in bed and I made grilled cheese and sliced up various pieces of fruit for breakfast, then carried the lot into the bedroom on a tray.

We ate in bed, looking out the long window at the sea and quickly decided the first thing we were going to do was take a dip in it. We had two whole weeks to do exactly what we wanted and intended to make the most of every minute.

The time went by way too fast. We lazed around with each other a lot, but also rented a car for a couple days to explore the island, took a helicopter tour and went on a day cruise which involved a stop for snorkelling and then a beach barbeque. We even went to the Ship Inn in St Lawrence on the south coast of the island - a club recommended by every travel guide and brochure on Barbados which wasn't something we would have done in Forks if we were paid, but spending the evening downing rum cocktails and dancing once we got tipsy enough not to care if we looked stupid was great fun. Embry was actually a pretty good dancer, I thought, but I knew I was lousy at it and Em couldn't hide his amusement after a while.

All too soon we were reluctantly leaving for the airport, vowing that we would return for our first anniversary. The flight was more exhausting than it had been on the way down and back in Seattle, we took thirty minute turns at driving as we struggled to keep our eyes open on the last leg back to La Push. Once we reached the house at some ridiculous hour of the morning, we simply dumped our cases in the lounge, locked the door and fell into bed. We still had two days before either of us had to return to work so we could continue doing as we pleased until everyone began descending on us to hear about the trip and look at our photographs.

Embry had been pretty persistent with his camera throughout the trip. Thankfully most of the shots were of the villa, the scenery, the boat we went for the cruise on and views taken from the helicopter and several of us together which random strangers had been only too happy to help out with, but Embry had somehow managed to accumulate a surprising number of me too, mostly when I was unaware of it. Quite a few showed me sunbathing naked behind the villa, often face down, but occasionally on my back under a sunshade, the warmth and fun of being able to lounge around in the fresh air without a stitch on resulting in an erection.

"Oh my God, Em, put them in a different file," I groaned as we viewed the shots on his laptop before we showed anyone else. "No one wants to see my cock."

"Well, I'm quite partial to looking at it," Embry smirked. "Think I will keep this one as a screensaver." He indicated a picture of me lying on the edge of the pool, one arm folded behind my head and my free hand gripping myself.

"Don't you dare. When did you take that, anyway?"

"It was the second or third day there. You had been swimming and you were drying off in the sun and getting all horny. I couldn't resist getting a picture before I came and sat on you."

I grinned now. I remembered all too well. I had begun to doze in the sun, my eyelids heavy, but my cock determinedly throbbing and demanding attention. I rubbed it half-heartedly for a minute or two and then felt Embry push my hand off, replacing it with his own which was slick with lube. A few strokes and then he was astride me, lowering himself onto me. I had immediately been wide awake, gripping his thighs as he rode me.

"Damnit, Em," I muttered, my pants uncomfortably tight once again. It took barely any effort on his part to get me all worked up; most of the time he only had to look at me with his melting brown eyes and I would want to pounce on him.

The doorbell rang and I growled out a curse under my breath. Embry got up, grinning, and I grabbed the laptop as I heard Tiffany's voice. Shit, she would want to see the photos. I rapidly deleted the screensaver and opened up the photo file again. The damned naked photos were all still scattered amongst the rest and I grouped them quickly and shifted them to another file, just in time before Tiffany walked in. I willed my erection to go down and went to make coffee while Embry showed her the pictures and the procedure was repeated several times with other visitors until we were finally left alone again. Embry put the laptop away and went to take a shower and I stared at the camera sitting there on the coffee table, just waiting to be made use of again. It was about time I got some photos of Embry for myself.

I waited until the water had been running a minute or two and then stuck my head around the bathroom door. He was standing under the hot spray, leaning back against the tiled wall with his eyes closed, letting the water cascade over him. Grinning, I stepped inside and pointed the camera. Two could play at this game and he looked hotter than hell like that. I took a close up of his face first, eyes closed, then panned out and took a shot down to waist level, then another full length. He was completely unaware of my presence and I snapped away, feeling like a voyeur as he began to lather himself in shower gel, eyes still closed and his cock beginning to stiffen and rise towards his stomach.

Embry let the water pour over him again and rinse away the soap, then leaned back again and ran one hand down his body to his stomach, pausing for a moment before he grasped his cock and gave it a squeeze. I chewed my lip, trying not to voice my appreciation and took another photo, unzipping my too tight pants with my free hand. Em began to jack himself off slowly, his head rolling back against the wall and I alternated between full lengths photographs and zoomed in ones of the pleasure on his face and his erection. An audible groan came from him above the sound of the rushing water and I put the camera down then. Enough was enough. I quickly dumped my clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower.

"Hold on, baby, don't waste it," I said.

Embry's eyes flew open.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to get a few photos." I took his hand off himself and grasped him with both of my hands, rubbing his cock against my own.

"Perve." He grinned and blushed and slid his arms around my neck, drawing my lower lip between his teeth and nibbling on it. He released it again in a second with a groan. "I'm so close."

I took my hands away, quickly reached up and turned the water off and dropped to my knees, grasping him again and drawing him into my mouth.

"Oh, God, Paul," Embry groaned, sliding his hands into my wet hair. He thrust himself deeper into my mouth and I sucked hard, squeezing his balls in one hand and immediately feeling the base of his cock begin to pulse. He came hard into my throat and I swallowed, taking my hands off him again and slowly getting to my feet. Embry was panting, lips parted and eyes closed and I covered his mouth with mine, letting him taste himself on my tongue before I pulled him out of the shower and handed him a towel.

"Fuck," he groaned.

"That's what I was thinking."

I dried myself quickly, picked up the camera and headed for the bedroom. Embry followed and threw himself onto the bed, still breathless. I showed him the photos of himself, idly touching myself until he pushed me off and took over and we spent the next hour or so playing with each other and the camera, adding to the collection of progressively sexy photos until we had a regular little porn album.

"You better put these in a locked file," I said as we viewed them again later. Some of the shots even made me blush although I knew they were going to be fun to look at again in the future.

We didn't bother to get dressed again for the rest of the evening. We ordered in pizza and I answered the door in my bathrobe and took the food and some beers back to bed. We had work the next day and weren't looking forward to being parted even for a few hours, so wanted to make every moment last until then. We only had one brief interruption when Embry's cellphone rang. I would have been tempted to ignore it, but Embry answered and I listened to his side of the short conversation in surprise as he said things such as 'congratulations' and 'I'm so happy for you.'

"Who was that?" I asked when he hung up.

"Seth. He had some big news, couldn't wait to tell us."

"Well, come on, then, tell me!" I prompted.

"He's getting married!"

"To Jake?"

"Yes, of course to Jake, what do you think? Jake apparently took a leaf out of your book while we were away, restaurant etc, even went down on one knee later. They're tying the knot at Easter."

"Awesome," I grinned, pulling Embry down into my arms again. "Do you wish I'd gone down on one knee?"

"No. It was perfect when you asked me. You were so nervous too, it was cute."

"You know I hate it when you say I'm cute," I teased.

"Well, you are. And I love you so much. A year ago I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams this would happen; that I'd be married to you."

"Better get used to it," I said, hugging him tighter. "You're going to be Embry Lahote until you die of old age."

I repeated his words in my head; he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams - nor could I, I thought. A year ago I had been in New York, dragging myself through every day and wondering what the point was, never realising that Embry would be the one to save me, to make it all better, to make my heart swell and fill with love.

"I love you, Em," I whispered. "Always."


End file.
